A Mental Health Day

I woke up at 6am, well, 6ish. Maybe it was closer to 7am, but the little hand still pointed towards 6. So, what else does one do when one has a little time to spare? Turn on the old computer. My phone was saying message memory 80% full, so I decided to do my sms’, type them up. And as Aby is in Queensland for her dear old Gran’s strokes, and Tom had an early start, I decided that it was a good day for mental health and that I should stay home. Well, I’d be on my own.

No, as they say, I would not be on my own. Mark and Luke turned up, Mark had to go to the doctor. We polished off the last of the dope and then Tom went home and Mark and Luke and I went out to lunch and then went shopping. I bought my spotted doona cover and I bought the browny/red one as well, which my not work in my room yet, we’ll have to wait and see.

Argh.

I’m going to tip that awful amyl down the sink, the foul stuff.

I’m still sniffin it!

Why? I can’t really tell you except that it’s there?

Tom

Mark and Luke went off to Victoria Gardens and then to the movies.

I called mum and said that I was home and didn’t feel like coming out and would it be all right for me to come to dinner tomorrow night.

Then I went to the city, as it got dark, it gets so dark so early now, before 6pm and exchanged a dud video, from last night and bought a couple of new ones.

Manny called about 9pm and asked if I wanted to come over, as he had split up with Johnny. After we had done the deed and when I was out on the balcony having a cigarette, Johnny called to say he’d be over because he wanted to get back together with Manny.

So I hi-tailed it out of there and went to the supermarket in Errol Street.

I Was In Naples, Once

Well you know pet, Tom always said she was like this…

What, dear?

You know Tom, TOM, ALWAYS SAID (tsk – turn it on), that Tom, she always said…

Said? Said what? Who?

(Great God) I say Tom, and Reg

Reg? What’s she up to?

Tom and Reg, and that Shane, and Marky and Lukee

What (ratty old bat, what’s she on about?)

THEY ALWAYS SAID (turn the damn thing ON for gawd’s sake, it’s only batteries)…

SAID WHAT? Who said?

THEY ALWAYS SAID that she…

Who?

That Mole, Fletchers, you know HER

Oh her

Yes HER

Ah Yes, more tea?

Always said she was, you know?

What? Lesbian?

No No No No No No No-no-NO! No, yes, but no: Like THAT?

Like what? What’s wrong with you chookers? You going all wobbly?

They ALWAYS said bad things about her, behind her back and I NEVER listened mind. Never partook. NEVER

(bitch) Well whad’ they say? Said she was like what exactly (I don’t believe I approve of your tone).

Fick…

Fick?!

Fickle. Long email, long wait (ooo must be DAYS): not a sausage.

Yes well, that’s young uns isn’t it? What was she up to last time she wrote? (sighs, feined interest dwindling)

Mario, I believe, or Branko, or Jimmy – one of our foreskinny friends… that's what she was up to.

Skinny? Don’t believe it! Wide as a house – never could say no, in fact, Tom told ME that….

FORESKINNY you fucked up bat!

Foreskin?!

Foreskin…..

Well.

Well….....

More tea?

Foreskin you say? ….. I was in Naples once…

josh

I Love to Sleep

Hey Christian,

Hope yr day is progressing nicely.

I've got an early city appointment tomorrow - one jab cure - and thought I might stay at your place tonight?

xT

A day is a day is a day.

No sun here. Just wind... although, I love the wind myself.

christian

SMS. 13.28. I am off 2 a job interview. Fuck I married  badly! – Rachel

SMS. 13.29. Good luck – christian

SMS. 13.30. With the job or my next marriage choice? He, he, he – Rachel

SMS. 13.53. It’s a tapas kinda wine bar so u and Jill could always come and keep me company, that’s if Stargate isn’t on! Oh fuck I so don’t want to work… – Rachel

SMS. 13.55. Me either babe, me either. We should have opened that café all those years ago – christian

SMS. 14.31. Start Friday. Boo-hoo! – Rachel

SMS. 14.33. Good for u! Full time? – christian

SMS. 14.33. No way very flexible hours 2 start with – Rachel

(Kym)

Hey Gran, how's it hanging?

christian

Hanging down to my knees – Am contemplating shopping for stretch polyester pants in a shade of pastel blue.  Nice...!

How are you?

Kym

No, I don’t care if the IT guy at work knows I have a syphilitic friend? No, I don’t care about the corporate world and it’s beige’ing of it’s work force. No, I don’t care about the absurd notion that something written in private to me on my email could cause offence to another person so that, in the worst case scenario, I could get sacked, or more to the point, miss out on a pay rise. I think my personal emails at work should be entirely my business. But they are not. And I have to pull myself up on some things I really don’t care about, because I choose to work in a corporate environment where different rules apply to how I would live the rest of my life. So, I guess I am just trying to stick to the agreed upon contract that I have with the black law firm... and it would probably be better if you didn’t send me emails with syphilis as the title. I agree that it’s stupid, but there you go... I’m not saying you can’t say it in the rest of the email.

Will I bring you marijuana in hospital? The part of me that listens to you hack up your lungs and look as though you are going to asphyxiate on the last of your own phlegm.... but I guess, nice, laid-back Christian will bring you some, he’s like that you know.

christian

I bought two new porn videos on my way home from work. One gay, one bi. So after Big Brother and after quite a few joints, I made a cup of tea and hi-tailed it up to my room. And I drifted off to sleep so easily.

Tom seemed to arrive just minutes after I did… but, I was sooooo comfortable.

SMS. 19.11. Are u still alive? – christian

SMS. 19.43 Yep and u? – G

SMS. 19.45. Yep – christian

SMS. 19.44. Soon – G

SMS. 19.46. Ok. Kisses – christian

SMS. 19.53. Sleeping Miss? I might go to 80 – Tom 

I came downstairs and D and Tom were in the lounge room.

SMS. 22.03. Why me? Why do I have 2 work? Fuck fuck fuckity fuck xxx – Rachel

SMS. 22.07. Ha, ha! – christian

SMS. 22.57. Fuck off. Don’t come 2 me asking 4 free dolmades… oh which reminds me of the Greek real estate agent – Rachel

SMS. 23.03. Greek boys are good sex! – christian

D left. No doubt he and Tom were up to no good, but I didn't ask. If you don't want to know, don't ask... is that an armed forces theory? Ha ha. No, whatever...

Tom and I chatted till after midnight. That's chatting with the excuse of smoking pot, and not smoking pot with the excuse of chatting, you understand.

Cross It Off The Five Year Plan

Grrr!

My two things to do were to send of that written piece and join The Victorian Writer's Centre, so I know when all the competitions are on. The first one, I did last night and I tried to do the second this morning. The Victorian Writer's Centre magazine didn't have a membership application and now I can't get their website up, as my internet at work seems to be having trouble. I'm sure I'm not meant to join this hocky establishment, as I'm being foiled every time I try.

Grrr!

Subject: Mohammed went to the mountain

When I realised that Beck is at a seminar all day, I decided that if I couldn't join The Victorian Writer's Centre by modern means of communication, I would just have to go to it. So, I high-tailed it across the city and got myself a membership – only four years late, I was supposed to join at the beginning of my course, but who's counting. (I wont tell you that it is actually situated next to my school. Oh, only for the last year of my course, I will add in my defence) I did try to join there and then but was told that the woman who did memberships was in a meeting, but that's neither here nor there. 

He looked nervous and apologetic.

"It's okay buddy, I'll send you a cheque."

He looked grateful.

But the woman in W. C. Penfolds did give me a singular envelope for nothing, so not everything was against me.

Now I'll know when all the competitions are on, then I just have to move to the next step and enter them. But at least I'm a step forward, now. 

So, good Christian!

Gone 3/4 of an hour and nobody noticed. He, he!

christian

And the letter is posted!

It was funny this morning, as I looked through my old copy of Write On, to find a membership form for The Victorian Writer's Centre – I now suspect it was on the back page, a place I never looked – I was telling myself that I WAS going to do this this morning, I wasn't going to forget. As it is now 11.07, I guess I did get it done this morning, not quite how I suspected, but done none the less. So, how about that?

How productive of you Miss!

And how archaic of the Writer’s Centre...

I liked both your short stories by the way, I think that tattslotto one was my fave.

I've had 50ml of blood removed – that’s quite a bit – and am now back in Dingaling, where my mother is talking away at me.

I've checked on the progress of my insurance claim and lo and behold, Andrew Spencer is holding it up by not returning forms or phone calls, so I will be on his case tomorrow.

And, I forgot to go to Melbourne sexual health for info – perhaps a phone call will do...

Adieu Miss.

Tom

And the letter has been posted. Clearly, it was on my five year plan.

christian

The doctor rang me and said that although I tested negative, I could have the treatment (a single penicillin jab) to avoid the window period.

Then I would be clear in 5 days.

I said yes.

Tom 😁

Gotta love that 1 jab and your conscious is cleared. Did your integrity stand up last night? Does blue T-shirt boy or bloke-at-the-bar-at-the-end-of-the-night need to be gently guided to the doctor too?

Hmmm?

(Not that I care, don't get me wrong)

christian

PS. Maybe it's not such a good idea to send me emails at work with the title syphilis?

I went to a play with mum, Boy Gets Girl. It was good. [2005] The story of what happens when a blind date turns into a living nightmare to examine stalking, sexism and the nature of the idea of romantic pursuit.

Theresa Bedell is a smart, successful woman in her 30s, who writes for an upscale literary New York magazine. She is utterly devoted to her work and struggles with relationships. 

It was raining as we came out. The city was beautiful in the rain. I put mum on the tram.

It seemed like a romantic gesture to walk across Princess Bridge as the drops fell on my head, every thing shiny all around. 

SMS. 20.15. Miss was I dumb enough to leave my wet pack in the kitchen – Tom

SMS. 21.22. What is a wet-pack? – christian

SMS. 21.23. Syringe disposal unit – Tom 

SMS. 21.27. I don’t know, ditzy – christian

SMS. 21.28. My green shower bag with heaps of stuff in it Miss – Tom 

SMS.21.29. I still don’t – christian 

I wanted to walk all the way home, but I wimped it on the other side of Bourke Street and caught a tram. I was puffing away furiously at the Bourke Street mall tram stop, before I had to throw it down – drop something sport, like all of my good intensions had quite literally gone up in smoke. It’s either walk and eat healthy, or catch a tram and eat donuts; exercise and quit, or get one of those motorised scooters and hang a fag from your lips.

Hahahaha.

No one needs checking.

Sorry bout the title.

Guilt by association I'm sure.

Tom

Maybe?

Your toilet bag was in the kitchen

christian

Thanks Christian.

Do you really care if the IT guy at work knows you have a syphilitic friend?

God, though, if I knew it was a one shot cure I wouldn’t have made this fuss.

I would have perhaps let it out with a wry smile or a smug grin, not processed it with everyone I know and some I don't!

Oh well!

Christian, will you bring me marijuana if I ask you while I'm in hospital?

I'll get my own, through Tim I hope (!), but when one is having chemo it is medicine, and I might need help scoring.

No one needs to know.

xTom

I got home and was straight into Big Brother uncut. I wanted to see the boys naked, Dean, or either Logan, the twins are cute.

Mum had two cars waiting for her at the bottom of her street, Judy, from across the road, ever helpful Judy (still, I guess, when you are worth millions and have nothing to do you can be as helpful as you like) and the Chinese man who owns the milk bar. She said it was embarrassing.

I taped Dean’s cock – the pretty boy off Big Brother – my favourite shot was Dean absentmindedly tugging at himself in the shower.

SMS. 22.45. I’ve got a shot of Dean pulling his cock! – christian

SMS. 22.45. Woof! Just like on Oz tonight – Tom 

SMS. 22.48. Taping it – christian

I taped Oz upstairs. Then I retired with the mull bowl to my room to watch Oz.

12.51. Hey Dean, do you want come over and have sex?

 

German Woofer With a Nice Big Bulge

SMS. 17.15. Hey…is the pot ok? – Tim 

SMS. 18.59. Yeah, good – christian

That Castin, what a cute boy; German woofer of twenty staying at Bolago on the weekend. Tall and dark and strapping; cut a fine figure, as did his jeans. The bulge in his pants was as nice as he is. He didn’t mind, me having a perve, seemed to make him smile. I reckon it made him play with it, on the couch on Saturday night, too. Just gently, as though he was adjusting something in his pocket… for five minutes, more.  He did. Sideways glance. You cheeky boy.

(I have found with German boys, they are really uninhibited, they don’t mind you perving on them. They don’t mind a bit of nudity and more)

The country was nice, I got stoned, naturally. We cooked good food and ate well, you know, like I do when I head out to the open plains and lovely spaces.

Lost in the Distance

I expect the worst of people and places and of most thing really. The evil of man can be justified for righteous causes.  Even the self proclaimed saviours of the world, those with a god and a soul, are behaving badly, so what hope do lesser human beings have?

The good hound the “lesser” into rules and beliefs to justify their own; with bombs, guns, money and manipulation. 

“It’s good for them, the lesser will be grateful one day for having their blindness corrected.”

There is evil in good and that evil is self-satisfying; my beliefs need to be upheld. The ends justify the means in the name of good. 

Where really, true good can only be selfless and nurturing, so very little of it, actually, exists.

No, I see evil in the world because, basically, the world is evil. It prevails. Hate begets hate. We are all fanatical about something and fanatical about having others believe it too.

Then we wonder why the lesser mortals kill it with pills, powders and booze; that changes the world that changes us. [2005]

Let’s face it, the worst is something humans do well. 

What a Dump!

 SMS. 9.31. I totally give up on Jill. She was so nervous about missing Stargate it was pathetic! – Rachel 

SMS. 9.35. She actually has a reminder programmed into her palm pilot AND phone… I left her 2 it. I am off to paint Ivy’s slum – Rachel

SMS. 9.37. In St Yarra – Rachel 

SMS. 9.39. He, he, he! Surely she has a video recorder? – christian 

SMS. 10.17. Hmmm! – Rachel 

Hey Mark

Tim wants to move back in until December. Can you come and do the tiling in the upstairs bathroom? You said you would do it.

christian

Tim said at 7.25% our mortgage has one of the worst interest rates around. He said that the NAB could give us a better rate because just about anyone could give us a better rate. 

Tim says he could get us 6.5%, or a fixed term interest rate at 6.8% for five years.

He said he could save us $7000 a year.

You apply for his loans on-line. So go on-line and apply to Homepath.com.

christian

Miss.

How are you?

How lovely it is that Tim is moving back! 

Tra-la-la-la-la!!!

Now, did you notice by any chance if I left some scripts on your coffee table?

xT

I'm good. It's Friday, after all.

No, I didn't notice if you left scripts or not.

christian

Tim

Good news is that Mark has said he can get the bathroom fixed and functioning within 4 weeks. 

I guess you have spoken to him today.

christian

Miss!

How was yr day?

Are my scripts on yr table?

So do ya wanna take drugs!

xTom

SMS. 14.30. Hi, everything went fine and I’m at home resting. I went pale so they gave me tea and biscuits. Lol. Oh pain-killers now! – Lauri 

SMS. 14.33. What r u talking about? Did you give blood? – christian 

SMS. 14.47. I had minor surgery on my left nipple nothing serious, same old problem, lump of fluid swelling – Lauri 

Mark called to ask if I was going up to Bolago and that it was his turn over my mother to see me.

Luke called not long after to ask if I’d get him some dope. He’s cute Luke, the call is like clock-work after I have told Mark I’m going to Bolago.

SMS. 16.14. (Lauri) Oh, well pat on the head for you. Get better. Pesky nipple, it’s not like you use them for any thing. He, he, he! – christian 

SMS. 16.47. (Tim) I want some dope for the weekend. Any chance of getting any? – christian 

Friday night I drove Tim over to Preston to the house that Beau had just moved into on Friday. As those famous lines of Bette Davis were ringing in my ears, "What a dump," I took the tour.

"You can see why it has to be knocked down," said the very cute, smiling intently, Beau. Enthusiastic and interested and with a twinkle in his gay – in a straight, straight, world – eye, he waited for my response. Cute boy, Beau, Tom will go ga-ga when he spots him. A straight shell, but with an obvious gay soul oozing out... through the eyes – the eyes always have it, say it.

"No, I don't see why it has to be pulled down," I said. "It could just as easily be renovated."

"Well, it's being pulled down in six months," said Beau. "So that's how long we've got it for."

But having said that, thinking about Tim saying to Aby that he would spend a lot of weekends at Beau's place, I thought, if you have the choice between a cold unrenovated Calafornian Bunglow dump in Preston and a centrally-heated full renovated Edwardian in Fitzroy, which one would you chose to spend most of your weekends at?

I headed straight up Bell Street for Bolago, stopping at the Shell, just before the freeway, to get petrol. Tom called and insisted that I give him an answer on his scripts, just as I was backing up to the pump.

SMS. 19.52. They’re on my desk, miss – christian 

SMS. 19.52. Great thanks! – Tom 

When I finally got out there was a cute wog-boy going for the same pump. He said that he thought I was going and that he was sorry and that I should go first, as I was there first. Cute Smile. Big brown eyes. Big red lips.

What is it with the Shell on Bell Street and cute wog-boys? That's the third time I've had wog-boys around those pumps arguably flirting with me.

I stuck to my mantra though... Christian, you are in Bell Street Coburg, the only thing that will come of you flirting with cute, polite, smiling, wog-boys here is a black eye. Not in Fitzroy now, Toto!

Bring Wine

Will be at your house at around 6ish...Will bring some wine!! YUM YUM... Look forward to seeing you!! xx

Tim

See you after 6, probably more like 6.15.

christian

Tim, Tom and I ate Indian and drank. Indian food is Tim’s new favourite thing. Alcohol, of course, is Tim’s old favourite. Ha ha!

Tom went over to Shane and Mark W.’s. afterwards.

Tim’s Beau came over. He’s very cute, young and sparkly-eyed and blonde. Apparently, Tim cut his hair.

It’s a pity Tom didn’t get to meet Beau, he is sooooooo Tom’s type. A dirty blond. Although, thinking about it, maybe it is better this way. Tom doesn’t have much decorum when it comes to other men’s boyfriends, if Tom likes what he sees.

Tim was completely smashed by the time Beau left. But then, Tim so often is.

SMS. 21.13. Mmmm sticky date pudding xxx – Rachel

SMS. 21.17. You’ll get fat! – christian

SMS, 21.17. 2 late – Rachel

SMS. 21.19. Me too – christian

SMS. 21.59. What happened to dinner? – christian

SMS. 21.56. We went straight 2 dessert. He, he, he. Where r u? – Rachel

SMS. 21.58. Home – christian 

Filthy Little Syphilitic Bitch from Sydney

I walked through Parliament reserve in the chilly, chilly morning, gazing at the rows and rows of newly planted little seedlings in the garden beds, laid out in a million rows. I am amazed, beguiled, astounded by the precision of the planting of the new seedlings. So careful, so precise, like fine stitching in the tapestry of the seasons.

I love the way they plant out the new seasons with new seedlings. I look forward to it, it brightens my morning walk, I can tell the months by it, almost.

I love it. I think of it as my garden, as I watch seasons come and go.

SMS. 7.50. I'm off to the salt mines, lick, lick, lick – christian

How’s the licking going?

I'm shortly off to flat hunt J

xT

Nothing worth licking here. Just bitches and whores.

Good luck in the hovels of Melbourne.

Speaking of things worth licking... did I tell you I was talking dirty with Manny last night? … not sure why I am telling you that, other than it was good.

christian

Miss.

that acrobat Darren had a case of the syphilis!!

I am off to the doc's TOMORROW to get it checked out!!!

Eeeek.

He had soreson his body but a doctor told him it was an allergy.

EEEEEEK!

Tom

Some filthy little bitch from Sydney, hey!

It still makes me quiver when I see the word syphilis, even after all these years. Doesn't a soreson mean it is advanced?

Just been to the doc myself, apparently my head isn't bleeding. He said he hadn't heard of chlamydia causing soft tissue damage.

Off to me mum's now. Gosh I'm hungry!

christian

SMS. 18.26. Did I txt u about tapas 2morrow night? – Rachel

SMS. 18.28. No – christian

SMS. 18.31. Oh! Well how ‘bout it then luv? I have a cold and my brain is a little fuzzy. Jill wants to meet 7-7.30 at the Pelican Bar – Rachel

SMS. 18.38. I could Friday – christian

SMS. 18.39. No good, it’s 2morrow or not at all luv! – Rachel

SMS. 18.42. Can’t – christian

SMS. 18.42. Bugga – Rachel

SMS. 18.48. It would have been good – christian

SMS. 18.53. Nexr week maybe? – Rachel

SMS. 18.55. Maybe, sure, be good – christian

SMS. 18.57. Be good? I will b with Jill… who says she has lots of work & doesn’t want 2 b out late! Yawn! – Rachel

I was just speaking to Tom and he says that Chris Fotiardis says that he knows other boys who are, or have been, IV drug users in Sydney who have developed bone marrow disorders.

Tom says he’ll be really pissed off if he has, indeed, given himself leukaemia.

It, of course, brings to mind, all those years ago when Jamie, my biologist friend, pontificated about injecting bacteria into your blood stream and it causing infection. 

Tom responded by saying Jamie was an idiot!

Tom looked at me with that simpering look on his face.

Cory

"In Case of Playing up This Weekend"

Morning Christian,

How are ya?

I'm a little breathless today, I must admit.

Have to hobble down to the shops soon - taking it old man slowly.

I must remember to eat my greens!!

Aby's graduation is today.  I should be going, but maybe I won't.  There's also an open for inspection in Abbotsford...

Oh, being "ill" is a fine thing, but really, it's the lack of energy that gets to me sometimes!!

xTom

Maybe it is the cold, miss? I know I felt breathless when I first stepped into the crisp morning air.

Of course, if it is a simple matter of eating your greens, I'll have Brussels sprouts and broccoli ready for you on Friday night when you get to my place.

christian

I think it's low haemoglobin actually, but thanks anyway.

I'm looking forward to dinner.

Might just get my blood tested Friday as well, in case there are naughties on the weekend.

Tom

Miss?

christian

I take it back!

What am I like??!!

Force of habit?

Tom

yes?

Tom

What was the question?

christian

what question u sent me "Miss?"

In the previous email I retracted my "in case of playing up this weekend" comment...

I'm just feeling very homey this week...

Tom

That was in response to your... "in case of playing up this weekend" comment...

christian

Miss?

Tom

I'm not going to tell you what Tim is bringing on Friday night.

christian

Miss!!!!!!!

You just guaranteed my presence!!!!!

(a mini-nite out will do us the world of good)

Tom

He's bringing Lisa!

christian

he, he, he.

christian

Miss!

Now I'm trotting around, tra-la-la-ing and singing to myself.

Skipping no less!

xTom

You are such a ONE!

christian

I know, but really, I'm just being naughty for fun.  I wasn't really skipping, but dontcha love me cuz I'm a one? Dontcha?

I shall play it by ear on Friday...

If I feel good I shall come to dinner.

xT

I believe you were skipping.

And, yes I do.

christian

SMS. 17.44. Some modelling agency has clearly employed “them” to walk towards me in Bourke Street tonight! My goodness, dark, 5 o’clock shadows, suits fitting just so, creased and catching in all the right places, and those slightly anxious, serious, sexually fraught, looks on their faces 😛 – christian

I wondered if there would be a market for 5.30 blow jobs? Some of those boys leaving their offices after work with their briefcases in under their arms, looking stressed and beset upon, sure looked like they could do with one. You could have a little room some where in the CBD. All they’d have to do is step in and unzip and get blown before they make their way home. I’m sure they’d be nicer to everyone after that.

SMS. 19.02. Tim’s coming Thursday night – christian

I went to bed after Big Brother finished. What sort of boring tit am I turning into? Can’t think of any motivation to write. Bugger!

SMS. 20.43. Coming where? – Tom

SMS. 21.05 Dinner Thursday – christian

SMS. 21.05. Oh Won’t make it – Tom

SMS. 21.11. Oh, he had to change the night because of his b/f – christian