You need to go to uni to get one of these, boys and girls. Of course, that isn't strictly true, but true enough.

Look Out For That Guy, He Wants Your Cookie

Tony Abbott, Charlene and an Asylum Seeker walk into a bar.

On the table are a dozen cookies.

Tony eats 11 of the cookies, then gestures at the Asylum Seeker as he says to Charlene,  "Look out for that guy, he wants your cookie, they think stealing is okay where they come from."

Then Tony asked Charlene to make him a coffee.

The Liberal Party On Campus

I nearly spat my lunch when I saw this at Melbourne Uni. And the most alarming thing was that there were some cute one's amongst the group. One's you'd never pick. Those you would sleep with, oblivious.

Dear God! Little Johnny. WTF? I wanted to scratch my eyes out. Well, no, I didn't want to do that, but... conservative politics at uni.

Apparently, I made myself unemployed

I threw a wobbly at work this week and I finished my assignment today. I kid you not. Over. Twelve weeks to indefinite reduced to one week.

What can I say? I'm not sure why? Well, I have my suspicions.

Mum had some kind of seizure on the weekend and the nursing home called saying they were very concerned about her, with the consensus being that this could quite possibly be it, that she could well die.

I guess that makes a boy a bit unsettled?

She had lapsed into unconsciousness and there was some thought that it was possible that she may not regain consciousness.

So we did the rush over thing. The nurse felt that we should. My brother flew down from Brisbane.

Mum was lying in her bed staring at the ceiling, when my sister and I got there. Her blue eyes were crystal clear. She was conscious, but not much was going on in there.

She responded to me when I asked if she was hungry, or if she was cold. She said no to both. She didn’t say anything else. I don’t really know what she was responding to, was it what I said, or was it just that I'd said something?

I didn't think I was stressed out but, apparently, I was. I threw a turn and called Jack and told him the assignment was no good and that he had to replace me.
Okay, he said.

Today was my last day.
And now I am, essentially, unemployed. Or as Sam said, on holidays again.
I haven't spoken to Jack since, I'm thinking he won't be thinking kindly about me.
Mum came out of her stupor yesterday, apparently, and is sitting up and eating again. Although, let's not kid ourselves, she isn't going to recover.
Shake of the head. OMG! What the fuck did I do? I have never done that at work before.
I hope I haven't blown it with Jack and ABC Finance? Imagine if Jack said to me, Well Christian, I can't give you any more work.
I didn't tell him about mum. Maybe, Bevan will tell him. Maybe.
Oh well.
I'm on holidays as of Monday. Lovely.
If Jack calls me Monday morning and tells me he has a new assignment for me, I'll be none too please. No, I'll be pleased. No, I wont. I'll be pleased to know he is going to give me work. I won't be pleased if he does, though.

What The Hell Did Melbourne Uni Do To These Terrace Houses?

I guess some idiot architect thought he was being awfully clever

Let’s Look Bizarre

Tum di da

let’s go to a bar,

in high heels and a bra,

let’s look bizarre.

We can go far 

in my big red car, 

follow a star 

singing tra la la.
Don't tell ma.

Some lovely Trees, sweetie

What is actually a crime?

I would rather Schapelle Corby got 3 million dollars for an interview than Rupert Murdoch getting 800 million dollars for paper shuffling. 

I think Schapelle doing an interview is more honest than Rupert’s complex shuffling of assets through local and overseas businesses in 1989 that netted the company an AUS2 billion tax deduction, according to The Australian Financial Review.

Schapelle is telling her story, which really can’t be considered proceeds of crime, such a classification is a very great stretch made by conservative thinkers. She is simply being paid to tell her story, there is absolutely no crime in that.


But what can you call a deliberate complex shuffling of assets to gain the biggest tax rebate in Australian history which involved taking 800 million dollars from the Australian tax payer?

Lying in the park

He always had to lie with his legs apart as he had enormous testicles

White Night

The White Night, what shall we call it, Festival, Experience, Light Show was jam packed full of people. So many people. So many people heading some where, every where, at the same time. There was a crush of many currents at every intersection, jostling for position. Old young, walking being pushed, drunk sober, they were all there. It is kind of good, getting out from in front of the TV, the computer screen. Of course, I am talking about me, more so than every one else.

So many people taking photos. So, so many photos. If a digital photo actually weighs something the planet is going to fall out its orbit under the weight of them sooner than later. Some people just hold their camera above their heads and take shots seemingly indiscriminately. It made me think of all of those photographers in history who'd pose the photo and wait hours to take the shot. We take photos at an incredible rate, as though they are important, as though all of them are worthwhile. As though we are trying to capture every part of our lives. Surely, they can't all be for Facebook?

Here's what I took.

Just a drummer in a band

White Light

People, people, people

Shiny blue balloons

A sea of people looking down Swanston Street

Religion has never been so colourful

The leader of the Australian Liberal Party mocked

Stephen King comes to Flinders Street?

Life is a side show

So many people and such a good feeling amongst them