Put My What in Where?

Celia wants to have a baby. She wants lovely Brad to be the father. Captain of the footy team. Secret homo gay. Her Italian family wont approve, but that is why she doesn't plan to tell them.

Celia and Brad go have tests, as they have decided to do it the natural way.

She says she can do it. He says he could do it, although Viagra may have to be involved.

The day comes, they are in her bedroom. He's never done it with a girl before. They strip and get under the covers.

"Now what?" asks Brad.

"Well, you take this..."

"Your hands are cold!"

"My, my," says Celia. "You've never had anything to be embarrassed about in the change rooms, now have you?"

"Never had any complaints."

"I can see why?"

"So, um, what do I do?"

"You don't know?"

"No."

"How could you get through school and not know..."

"Oh, I have a vague idea, you know, I grasp the theory."

"Don't worry... just... let... me..."

"Can you warm up your hands..."

"Oh, yes, sorry," she said “We wouldn’t want him to…”

“No, we wouldn’t want him to…”

“Do a turtle,” he said.

“No, we don’t want that.”