It's Nice in Front of the Fan

 I watched Nadal play last night. The boy has the hottest arse.

Made coffee. Rolled a joint, I knew I wasn’t going to be doing much. I went to go outside to see if my Impatience had recovered with the water I’d given them yesterday, the coffee boiled just as I went to go. Switch it off, let it finish it’s thing. Step off the front doorstep to look around the side of the house, my finger tips were still touching the door as it locked behind me.

“No!”

I had the joint still in my hand, oddly enough, and I, quite frankly, wouldn’t have minded, quite so much, if I’d had a lighter in my hand, as well. I could have just sat down in the shadows and not cared, hosed myself with water. Pretend to be 5... high on THC.

“Fuck!” The door has really locked! I never not snibbed the lock. I really am standing there in jocks and T-shirt, fortunately a big baggy T-shirt and not the, occasionally preferred small, tighter one.

I stuck my hand out into the sun light and it sparked like metal in a microwave. Bugger, I have to do something.

There was nothing for it, I headed in next door and called Shane. “Oh yes, I could organise that, no problem. Be right with you.” Dial tone. Shane was certainly in work mode.

My neighbour’s friend offered for me to wait with her until Shane came, but in my jocks? She was pretty much in hers too. I didn't feel like playing ladies with a middle aged woman in her underwear.

“No thanks, he only just works up the road.” Smile.

"He's a good boyfriend, then?" Jauntily, raised eye-brows.

Um, no, he's not my... "Yeah... he is." Smile.

Back in the front yard, I wanted a lighter for my j. A woman came along the footpath rummaging in her bag. I decided that if she pulled out a lighter, I ask her to lend it to me. She got to my gate, stopped rummaging and through the gate she came.

“Oh  Guadalupe!” My whole reality just did a 180 degree turn. Our cleaner was coming today instead of Australia Day.

“I come today.”

“Yes, yes, I’ve just locked myself out of the house.”

She laughed quietly. “Lucky, I come then.”

I cancelled my doctor’s appointment at 12,15, at 11.30. Who can function in this heat, for god’s sake.

Faffed about all day, never far from the fan, let me tell you.

It's airless. As I exhale, the smoke just sits in the afternoon's sun rays, like I'm on fire myself, under the veranda.

David went to orientation for his students, then he was going “to get his cunt trowelled” by some couple he knows, who are down from Sydney. In a CBD Hotel room.

“Feel like a whore?” I asked.

“I’ll be too busy saying Fuck me to think about any thing.”

David asked me what I'd say if Kane came over.

"Get off me!"

Tomorrow it’s going to be 43. Jesus Fuck! Kill me now.