Euw! I Laughed, I Couldn't Help It

I had a late night, I stayed up pissing around with photos and pretending to write. You know, as you do. And suddenly, my bedtime television is Sunrise instead of Lederman.

I was groggy when I got up, after midday. Doing the shift work, for sure. Vampire hours. It's so easy to get into the habit of it.

I made coffee, that was all my single issue, male brain could cope with.

The toe nails on my left foot, have been long for about a week, well, that's the time I've been meaning to cut them. My hand seemed to come down on the nail clippers, I I rested them on the bench and steadied myself waiting for the familiar rumble of the cooked coffee pot to sound in my ears.

I took a cigarette from my packet and headed outside with my coffee. (Yep, smoking again) The sun was shining, but it had no warmth in it. I sat in one of the wicker chairs on the back veranda. I put my coffee on the ground. I found I had the nail clippers in my other hand. I pulled my left leg over my right knee and focused, rather bleary-eyed, I have to say, on my toes.

I clipped my big toe first. It was like a claw, dirty and gnarled. How long had it been? I was sure I was a cleaner human being that the evidence my big toe was showing me. Euw! Click. The nail shot straight up in the air, completing the most perfect arch right there in front of my eyes and plop! Straight into my coffee, as perfect a dive as Matthew Mitcham.

Euw! I laughed, I couldn't help it. Welcome to the fucking day, I thought.