Men Kissing

The roller door went nuts, has thrown a cog, or something. BARP! BARP! Crunch, crunch, groan, rattle rattle. Then the motor spins but doesn’t engage.

Yay!
I’ve got rego due and car insurance due the last day of the month. I was gong to renegotiate my $1000 comprehensive insurance, to 3^rd party, I hope, for a few hundred dollars. The car is now insured at the vale of $8000, it doesn’t make any sense to be paying over a tenth of it’s value each year. I’ve never had an accident, although I did have my last one go p in flames. Oh, that would still be covered.

The last day in Brighton. I left home at 8.15, it took me an hour. The sun was shining, it was a lovely day. It’s nice to be out in that sort of day.

I don’t know if it is little jobs, with just as many little things as big jobs, but it always seems to take longer than I expect.

It is because I have only worked there twice, a fortnight apart. The pressure is on because their anticipation is that I get it done in 4 hours.

Today I went too far forward and completed the job, before the finance director approve it all. And there were changes and I had to pull it all back, I restored the system back, which it didn’t seem to like. And then some changes deleted and some didn’t and I was flying by the seat of my pants juggling it all in the air and I completed it all again without my usual rebalances. I’m pretty sure I got everything, but now I’m not really sure. I can’t really remember.

All I wanted to do was get home smoke a joint and go and get a haircut, I’ve been feeling like a gorilla. Euw!

I did. I got it all pulled together at work today. I work methodically, I don’t miss stuff. But it was sloppy at the end, I know that.

Let’s just hope that it wasn’t too sloppy.

Stop being paranoid. You were hungry. I was hungry. It is a part of the expectation of a 4 hour job. I should have had lunch and spent the day, it that’s what it takes, fuck their expectations.

I wonder if I am allowed any failures.

Of course, I know the answer to that, failures are not allowed.

I went and bought “Discreet” and had a hair cut. It was my usual barber, one removed. You see, there are two of them. So this is my second usual, rapidly becoming my usual usual. I’ve always though he was sexy, in a bear, fat boy kind of way. He’s always had an air about him, a way. Well, anyway, I managed to fit in two joints before I went. No one was home, it was nice. And I just closed my eyes and let him push my head around with his deft touch. It felt nice being moved and controlled and completely under the power of another man. You know, in a gentle, intimate, okay romantic if you like, kind of way. I enjoyed the rest after a stressful morning with a client. It was nice to wander off to dream land in safety.

Well, at the end of the hair cut, he got the blow dryer and the brush and he gently and tenderly blow waved my hair, every hair, starting with and paying particular attention to my part, that seemed to take time and require close concentration and intimacy. I closed my eyes and it felt good.

He has cut my hair many times and he has never done that.

At the end he said, kind of breathlessly, “Do you like?” Like it meant something to him. His eyes smiled the most when I told him that I did. My hair looked truly awful, but I smiled sweetly and he believed me.

Shane and Tuli were home when I got home.

I made a cup of tea and headed to my room. I guess I should have called out, yoohoo, maybe I should have, but as it was, they didn’t appear as I cleaned up the kitchen as the kettle boiled. As I read the mail, or looked at the bills.

I made several cups of tea after that, they didn’t make an appearance.

They left just as the light in the street had started to fade, although it was still light. Shane used to always slam the door, always, hail, rain, or shine. Now I don’t hear it.

I warmed up rice noodles from Sunday night.

Pretty much, I was smoking pot in my room, I don’t care this week. I’m more than comfortably with the world locked out, but that is nothing new.