Worst Day of My Life

He had a wank sitting on the toilet in a cubicle at work. How many guys do you think have wank at work? Lot's, I guess. It would be a guy pass time, at work. I'm pretty sure.

Some guy came into one of the other cubicles just as he was getting going, so he stopped and waited. He took a crap, while he waited for the guy to leave, no use wasting time. See, boys can multitask. The other guy left soon enough, so he could continue.

Adam’s chest, Andre's sweet butt, Seamus's face. Licking, fingering, kissing. Andre's chest is nice too, apparently he lifts weights. Head spins, dizzy heights. Shakes. Sweats. His breathing becomes short and sharp. The universe is inverting. He squints his eyes and tugs furiously. King of the world, top of the heap, number one!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! He was sure he could hear the Doctor Who theme, as he threw his head back and did the silent scream boys have done since the beginning of time.

It was good, very satisfying, just what he needed on a stressful morning. He basked in his post-wank euphoria.

When he was done, he stood up and pulled his pants up.

“Oh?”

He forgot he’d taken a dump.

“Oh… er… noooooooooo!”

He hadn’t wiped his arse.

“Fuuuuuuuck!”

There is no coming back from that.

“Ah.”

Couldn’t even pull his knickers out of his crack, not that he wanted to try.

“Worst day of my life,” he told me later.