And here they come, like locusts. Whoosh! Don't get me started about the people dragging the suitcases along behind them and all you could hear was the whir of wheels on the bitumen. And they always seem to be right next to me, like I was trapped on some drone field. I wasn't quiet about it, well, I wasn't quiet about it to Sam. 

Sam told me it was karma, but I had no idea what he meant. (Quizzical look)

Here's the New York shot. (Tokyo looking like New York)

And of course the rain came down, as it has this whole trip. (Who'd have thought it would rain in spring) What is that song about the rain? I'm sure Annie had Tokyo in mind when she wrote it.

"And they coom, and they coom." The only trouble with travelling is all the annoying tourists. (physical sake) They all rushed to this spot to take pictures mindlessly of the palace, which they couldn't see.

"I bet they are taking photos of nothing," I said to Sam. And they were.

Just photograph happy. I even see them not even stop walking and they are snapping away. Morons, the lot of them.

(of course, we were there too, but that was just to see what was going on, you understand)

Trees by the Emperor's Palace. I had to wait the longest time for an old European couple to stop faffing about with a selfie stick before I could get this shot. Dear God people, there is no other bloody angle from which you can take a shot of yourselves, except perhaps straight up your great big hooters. These trees will be dead by the time you finish. Move along!

Tokyo Train Station

Tokyo train station. Nice it is too. Quite interesting, it is in a very different part of Tokyo which doesn't have all the tackiness. I assume it is the business district part of Tokyo, I could check, but I can't be bothered. Let's just say it is. By the Emperor's Palace, in a part of Tokyo that reminds me of New York, in a way.

We  saw St Mary's Cathedral today, a magnificent piece of modernist architecture

The ubiquitous Toyota Crown Super Saloon Tokyo taxi, normally in black, but these red ones are better for the night shot

Shinjuku night life

Pride Tokyo

We left the giant pet shop, after looking for bulldog accessories, and Google maps told us that the Pride March was on, right at that very moment, just up the road from where we were. So we watched the Pride March go by, it seemed to go by in sections, and we joined onto the end of the section that just passed by and we walked through Tokyo as a part of Tokyo Pride. Happy Pride everyone. It was nuts in the park at the end.

I've got video (do we still call it video?) of the parade heading off down the wrong street and having to be dragged back by the police and put back on track, which was very funny, everybody laughed, but I have dodgy wifi and I can't post it.

Coffee

It is afternoon. I want coffee, I suggest we find some. I need a sit down, my back is hurting. Google maps finds five nearby coffee shops, I pick the one with the best photo of coffee, nice white porcelain cups. Shrug, it is as good as anything else to go on. It’s a nice little market arrange'mont, unfortunately playing what sounds like Middle Eastern music on crack. I imagine some 1920s ingenue spinning like a whirling dervish with veils, while her coke addicted boyfriend drums manically, blowing a whistle out his arse for all he’s worth. The coffee, of course, is average. [roll of the eyes] Melbourne coffee drinkers are hard to please, I understand, but people how hard can it be? Really? I’m not asking you to solve string theory, it is just the blending of ground beans and hot water. How difficult can it be, for fuck sake?

The craziness of the pedestrian crossings in Tokyo

Tokyo

Tokyo

Leaving On A Jet Plane

We got into Tokyo airport at 8am.
It took over and hour and half to catch the train into Tokyo.

We found our Airbnb cell for the week without too much trouble. We had screen shots of every moment of the walk from the metro station to our Airbnb, only problem was that the first instruction of turn left as soon as you leave the metro station should have been turn right, but somehow Sam found a guy who spoke mandarin and they discussed the directions in Chinese in Tokyo and found which way we should be going.

It rained on our heads as we found our way. Tired, hungry and wet, don't you just love travel, I thought at one point as we made our way.

We ate at a fast Japanese food restaurant. We had our second cup of shit coffee. We went to a supermarket and bought fruit. Everything and I mean everything is wrapped in plastic in the supermarket. Every piece of fruit was in gladwrap. (Ironic that they use the term glad)

We bought strawberries which were already in a plastic container and the cashier put them in their own separate plastic bag before she put them in the plastic carry bag. That was three different plastic wrappers for the strawberries. Thumbs up for the planet.

We fell in a heap and slept until 6pm.

We're heading to the airport in half an hour to head to Japan. Buddy is sitting next to me, he has no idea. I'll miss him and Bruno, who has gone to a friend's place to be looked after as he is still too young to leave at home with Buddy unsupervised. We have house sitters, but it won't be the same thing for Bud. Pat pat.

I don't believe in god in the same way I don't believe in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny and it seems to me that you have to believe in both to believe in god. It is the same suspension of disbelief.

I celebrate New Year and Mid Year, or the summer and winter solstice. Easter and Xmas don't mean much to anyone. Let's face it, Santa was invented by Coca Cola.

Now we have got all that other nonsense out of the way, let the chocolate festival begin.

Ah, yes, the nonsense that I speak of.  Let's look at one christian's message

"As a Christian, I believe that God sent his one and only son Jesus to die on the cross so that anyone can come to have an intimate and personal relationship with him.” In what universe does that make any sense at all. He committed infanticide so we could be closer to him? What kind of evil madman is this god? Only some illiterate cave dweller would believe this.

"This is the core message behind why I believe we celebrate Easter. I also believe that we are all sinners, that no one including myself is exempt from this and this is why Jesus died for us so that we could all be forgiven by God.” He killed his son so we could all be absolved of the evil we have done. That is the thinking of a psychopath.

"God is a loving God The above indicates anything but love and I pray that everyone will come to experience that same love Are you serious? as I have. No wonder pedophilia is acceptable to so many priest, well, arguably it is kinder than infanticide? 

In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made He him. So God is a single cell amoeba?

It is all unintelligible nonsense

Happy Chocolate Festival everyone!

You know what the most liberating idea is in this era? I don’t, actually, have to have an opinion

I love the smell of fresh cut grass in the afternoon

The whole notion of heaven is vanity, bordering on narcissism. The whole idea of Christian belief is wilful stupidity

Everything that comes out of Scott Morison's mouth is a lie

I saw Tim Wilson sprinting towards Spring Street passed no 1 Treasury Place. She’s a really fat queen.

Hey Israel Folau, God's plan for fuckwits is Centrelink.

Japan’s 100  million dollar stealth fighter disappears without a trace mid flight? Oh, the irony

Anti abortionists challenge clinic safe zones in court... you f’ing nutjobs... go... a... way!

and they lost

This idiot Liberal Government gives the Adani coal mine the all-clear... they couldn't give a shit about the planet.

Bruno

I'm way more taken with my new puppy than I would ever thought I would be. He's an adorable little chap.

Of course, he is like a young gay boy, everything goes in his mouth.

Apparently, My No Filter Approach To Life Upsets Some People

The mist hangs low over the flat pond. Little Christian lines up his eye with his hand and then flicks his wrist. 

Ch, ch, ch, ch, ch, the smooth stone kisses the surface of the water repeatedly as it sails off into oblivion. 

And the assembled faceless masses bring their hands to their faces and form Os with their lips.

Little Christian holds his hands in the air in victory.

Then he bows to the cheering crowd.

 

If You Believe Vaccines Lead to Autism, You Are A First Class Idiot

Some anti-vaxxers are increasingly making the same unfounded claims about pets and vaccines they’ve been repeating about children and vaccines for the past 20 years. 

They are refusing to vaccinate their dogs for fear it will make their dog autistic.

Seriously?

My theory is that climate change is melting our brains. Probably by the time climate change is having its full effect, we’ll all be brain-dead zombies anyway.

Some of us, clearly, are already there.

(Ed note, for the completely stupid amongst you, there is no such thing as an autistic dog)

Mother Hubbard

I went to the cupboard to get some more coffee beans to fill the coffee machine this morning so I could have my third coffee, but there were none.

"What the fuck!" I, actually, heard myself say as my search of the pantry became more and more frantic. Shelf to shelf. I moved everything. 

"They must be here some where?"

And we weren't, actually, out of coffee beans, but we just nearly were, the machine was nearly empty.

"What the fuck!"

I caught myself being cross, frantic, if I was honest. How could this happen? I think I even had a little sweat on my brow. Then I laughed at myself, ah, the fail safe. Everything is serious until you see the funny side. Just take a look at yourself, I thought. Chuckle. 

First world problems, I thought. 

If nothing else, Coles is only a 5 minute walk away.

Bucket List

I've been watching a friend's postings of his more and more extensive travels of Australia and the world. He bought a new Motor Guzzi motorbike and rode it right around Australia. And he seems to be travelling to all corners of the planet, constantly, just lately. Where he has been is just amazing, every country you wish you could visit, or wish you had visited, he seems to have been to just lately. Uruguay, the Falkland Islands, The Beagle Channel, Tierra del Fuego, Patagonia, The Amalia Glacier, just to name some of his latest destinations.

So me and my big mouth wrote this morning,

"Hey (name) have you been diagnose with a terminal illness and are doing your bucket list of travel?"

Well, you guessed it...

Food Poisoning

I've had a touch of food poisoning, I think it was the chicken. Sam added it to my leftovers lunch the other day when I didn't seem to have quite enough.

Very nice it was too getting up at 2am to take Bruno for a wee and vomiting all at the same time. 

That was a few days ago and I thought I was all over it. I won't describe to you what happened this morning as I got out of the shower and farted with impunity... euw! is all I will say. Good thing we have a bath mat.

To All The Christians

Hey Christians, that's right guys we're coming for you. The gay agenda won't be complete until it is fucken compulsory. Bend over and brace yourselves!