I didn’t get a pay rise and a bonus this year. Oh, I got a pay rise, just a small one. My boss called me personally to say he was sorry he couldn’t give me more and that I could apply for full time hours, he’d personally back the increase.
Um… er… I thought. What is he talking about? Full time work, have you lost your fucking mind, is all I could think.
My wealthy law firm reduced all of our wages by 10% when the pandemic hit. Our CEO did a personal appeal to the employees which was a great sob story for those who bought it.
“We’re all in this together, and he was sure that we’d all take a reduction rather than having to sack a few employees. Blah, blah, fucking blah.” I wondered if he got a media consultant – there’s another useless position – to write his speech for him?
No, I wasn’t keen on that, I thought.
I knew that at the same time, they got 400 million from some huge matter they took on, government, or something. I also knew something went wrong with the authorities for 500 million they held in a bank other than our main bank as a contingency and there was a time just after the pay reductions they were scrambling to get the authorities straightened out.
Not to mention they did well out of the pandemic. When things are bad, like rats, lawyers clean up.
So, six months later, our wages were put back to normal, in stages over a few months.
Now they have given 2million in bonuses, but only to a select number of employees, and I didn’t get one.
A 10 per cent pay reduction for all and only bonuses for a few, you don’t see a problem with that?
Another problem being, I am one of the salt mine workers who has some input with the financing of the bonuses. Well, not so much the financing… I’m involved. (I’m guessing that was the reason for the last minute phone call from the grand poobah, as they realised, possibly at the last minute, that I’d be seeing my lack there of)
I know why I don’t get bonuses, because I am too forth right. I don’t sugar coat things, like you have to in corporate’ademia. I don’t employ the velvet corporate speak when I tell people they are lazy cunts, or stupid fools, I just come out and say it. And I know that pisses some people off, but, to tell you the truth, if anything, it only amuses me, if it does anything. Oh, come on, you have to have a smirk when poh-faced Lionel from intellectual property gets all bent out of shape over being told his idea is stupid, surely.
Oh, I’m just cross that I am still doing this. I gave it all up in 2011 to write and I spent three years watching YouTube and smoking pot. So, when Beck told me these people wanted a financial accountant – oh, I figuratively hang my head in shame when I write what I am. I think saying you are a prostitute has more cachet than the A word, at least the clientele would be varied and interesting – I jumped at the chance. I saw it as punishment for my slacking off and an incentive to get back to writing. I thought I’d hate it so much that it would be my impetus to write again.
And here I am four years later. Perhaps my father was right when I’d hear him tell people Christian really is a lazy arse.
Oh, I’m just pissed off that when I went to Swinburne and did business that I didn’t take writing seriously. It never occurred to me back then that it was an option. So, I struggled through business and started working in the financial salt mines, not realising until much later that I had ruined my life. Sabotage, I used to call it. I could have done anything, indeed I was told I could do anything, and I chose this. It is still a fucking mystery to me. All I ever wanted to do as a teenager was write poetry, I have folders of the stuff. It was all crap, but that is hardly the point.
At the same time, I studied my brain numbing degree, Swinburne had a much respected creative writing course. To think I was actually there, in the right place at the right time… oh… frown. Banging head on desk repeatedly.
And here I am, still working at something that has no intrinsic value other than to make a handful of wealthy, narcissistic lawyers even richer and more entitled.
Oh yes, I know, it is never too late, blah, blah, blah…
Now, there are certain things that I do that no one checks, that if not done, would potentially cost the firm money. I have a certain amount of autonomy with certain things. I reckon I might stop doing those things. It wouldn’t take long to surpass 10K in bonuses not given, by my very rudimentary calculations.
Childish? Quite possibly.
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