When I went into the office Tuesday morning they’d put on breakfast for the staff, something they started doing to encourage the staff to come back to the office. They have a barista making everyone coffee, so I went to get coffee before I headed over to IT to get my new laptop.
The first person I ran into was HR Jimmy. I call him Little Buddy He’s been with the company for roughly 12 months. When he first started, I remember thinking that if I was in the office more, I’d flirt with him, and if it wasn’t a work situation I might just hit him. (editor’s note – I wouldn’t do that, it’s just the thought that amuses me)
However, the last 12 months has clearly been hard on Little Buddy, as he looked terrible. Like really terrible. I started thinking, well, in my mind anyway, deteriorating Jimmy.
What happened to you! That was the first thing that nearly came out of my mouth, but, of course, it didn't.
Clearly, the Pony Tail, Fat Tony and Fish Guts has been treating Little Buddy poorly, which is what they do. They eat the young.
We had a bit of a chat, none of which I really took in as I couldn't stop thinking, you look so bad, bud. You have to get out, clearly. Make a break for it! You have to escape, run away, mate, before it is too late.
Gone were the chirpy fresh good looks and the cool haircut and the cute, cheeky smile. He looked pale, and drawn and his hair was long and hanging down unkept.
I guess that is what happens when you have to hang out with those bitches from HR.
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