Tuesday

It had been a shit day, weatherise. And far too many conversations with The Ponytail in a short space of time. I signed out at 4pm. I put music on. Bowie. Hunky Dory.

Changes came on.

It's true, I've always Bowie a fan.

I had a friend who claimed he had every single record/cd that Bowie had ever released, singles, the lot. This was before the latest renewed interest in vinyl, not that that would make any difference I think.

Ah Russ, my mate Russ. I haven't seen him for years.

We'd been friends for years, he was one of my first group of friends. We were all friends for our late teens, early twenties. None of us are friends now.

I haven't thought about Russ for awhile. Only when I hear a Bowie song, do I think of him. I put on Hunky Dory today and immediately thought of Russ. He just came into my head, as Changes began to play.

Nice thoughts, I always think nice thoughts when I think of Russ.

I lit an open fire. It had been windy all day. I'd felt cold for most of it.  You know when the wind blows outside, it gets inside, no matter what you do.

Wake up you sleepy head, put another log on the fire for me.

We had a thing together, Russ and I. I thought about that. We really surprised ourselves with that one. Neither of us ever had any inclination. Nah. Never.

It was towards the end of our friendship, as it turned out. Not that that was the reason we stopped being friends. Not that we thought our friendship was ending.

He and I had been out at The Peel with a group of guys. It got late and we all started heading home. I walk home from the Peel. Russ wanted to catch a cab and there were none around, so he said he'd walk home to my place with me. He'd either hail a taxi in the street on the way, or he'd call one from my place.

And we just walked home like a couple of mates after a night out at the pub, which is what we were.

We got home. I rolled a joint. Russ started to call a taxi, had drink, or a piss, or wanted a coffee, or something. Anyway, after he'd kind of sorted out what he was doing, I'd rolled the joint and the two of us sat and smoked it.

Then I rolled a second one straight away. I was going to bed, and a couple of joints before sleep was what I did.

Now, as it turned out, the joints was really strong, or maybe we were a little drunk, or both, anyway it kind of knocked the both of us out.

Back then, I had a modular couch and Russ and I passed out pretty quickly from the pot, somehow ending up cuddled up in each other's arms, which we'd never done before, we'd never even remotely contemplated the idea. We were mates.

Some time later, we both came too, warm in each other's arms, comfortable, intimate, and apparently suddenly uninhibited and horny, and we just started kissing, and once we started kissing we just didn't stop to think, or take a breath, until we were both done, all over each other there on my modular couch.

Then we just lay there, kind of speechless.

Finally, Russ said he'd better call a taxi.

I remember saying to him, "Oh shut up." I took him by the hand and led him to my bed where we slept in each other other's arms all night, and most of the next morning.

He was awake before me. He was sitting up in my bed when I woke.

He looked at me and kind of smiled, I don't know, I couldn't read him, I remember.

"Morning," I said

"Morning," he said.

He rubbed the sleep out of his face, gazing out my bedroom window.

"What did we do last night?" he said.

"I don't know," I said. "But I think it was good."

I remember him laughing. "I don't regret it," he said. "But, why did we do it?"

"I don't know," I said. "Who'd have thought?

"Who'd have thought," he said.

I put on Never Let Me Down.

Russ said, "Are you trying to say something with this?"

I laughed.

We headed out to a cafe for breakfast.

I remember saying to him over eggs benny. "I'd do it again."

He shook his head. He held my gaze. "We're not supposed to."

"Oh fuck that, I've got no regrets."

"Me either," he said. He shrugged. "You know, when I think about it."

"Who are we going to tell?"

"No one."

"Oh, ashamed are we?"

"No, it would take too much explanation, to convince anyone."

"No one would believe us?'

"No, no one would believe it."

I remember we both laughed.

Life on Mars came on. I gazed at the wood in the fire place becoming red hot coals. It wasn't blowing outside any longer, but the rain was falling. Russ, I thought. I wonder what you've been up to these years.

It's on America's tortured brow

That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow

Ain't that the truth, I thought.

Then the news came on. Police gunned down by a conspiracy theorist. Oh, welcome back real world, I thought.