There is a packet of seasoned crumbles on our kitchen bench. I just naturally imagine it strawberry and white chocolate crumble, although I don’t take much notice of it. I briefly contemplate what cereal I could have to use them, but let it go almost as quickly as I thought of it
Sam gets up. He looks at the packet, of course.
“Do you think Charlie’s girlfriend…”
“Or boyfriend…”
“Or boyfriend gave him this?”
“I hope so.”
“You hope he was given this?”
“I hope he has a boyfriend.”
“Really?”
“Oh, it would be so adorable if he had a boyfriend.”
“Do you think so.”
“It would be gorgeous.”
“Really?”
“Oh yes,” I say. “Grandma might shit her pants…”
Sam laughed.
“All her boys she sends to Australia turn out to be gay.”
Sam just looked at me.
“But she’d get used to it?”
“It is roast garlic seasoned.”
“Oh, I just naturally imagine it to be a sweet topping.”
“You would,”
“Just like Charlie could be?”
“What?”
“Sweet top man.”
“I see,” said Sam. “It is Indonesian savoury crumble.”
“Oh, I was thinking sweet pie...”
“Do you think he is seeing someone from a restaurant.”
“Maybe he is screwing the owner’s son?”
“You are incorrigible.”
“Oh, it would be lovely to see him with a strapping boyfriend.”
“Or girlfriend.”
“Holding hands with a lovely boy he perhaps met at the gym.”
“A girl from uni?”
“He’s finished uni,” I say. “Maybe he has been seeing this guy since he finished uni, too nervous to tell us.”
“Why would he be too nervous to tell us.”
“Oh, you know, everyone has a coming out story which is difficult for everyone in varying degrees.”
“You think.”
“Yes, of course, everyone has to do it at their own pace.”
“You have thought about this a lot?”
“No, I am just winging it as I tell you now.”
“You’ve got Charlie deep into a serious gay relationship and you are just making this up now?”
“Yeah, sure. I guess it comes easily.”
“Does the boyfriend have a name?”
“I’m working on that.”
Sam laughs.
“I’ll let you know what I come up with.”
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