Reading back over my old blog posts not only have I reacquainted myself with my old mate Tom, I have also read back over old writing from my old mate Josh.
Josh and I had a falling out 15 years ago and we haven't spoken since. It was kind of dumb, the falling out. I thought he used me... three times. He may, or may not, have been in genuine need when I felt he tried to use me for a forth time, and I refused to help him. He may have felt I betrayed him. Oh, you know, something along those lines.
Neither one of us has tried to contact the other since.
We used to write each other wordy emails, which we thought were clever, we both thought the other one was clever.
I did try to contact him through facebook a number of years ago, but nothing came of it.
I might be able to remember his old email address, I might, would he still even have the same address. He now lives in Berlin.
I wrote the below email. I'm going to send it to what I think was is email address.
It took me all of 5 minutes to write, so I have really nothing to lose.
Let's see what happens.
Hello.
Say hello.
I just said hello.
Hello is always a good way to start.
I did.
And?
And what?
What happened?
Well, nothing.
Nothing happened?
Nothing happened.
No?
No.
Well, that is hardly ideal.
No, not ideal at all.
No, not at all?
No
Well, say hello again.
Hello.
Not to me.
Oh.
A-ha.
Hello.
Still nothing?
Still nothing.
Well, do you think you are getting through?
I don’t know.
You don’t know.
No.
No?
No.
Well, did you ask for someone intelligent.
Not yet.
Is there intelligent life?
I don’t know.
You don’t know?
No.
No?
No.
Well, again, not ideal.
Well, why don’t you do it.
No, you do it.
I am doing it.
Not very successfully.
No, I know that.
Well, as long as you know that.
What would you suggest?
Oh, tell him this may well be the last transmission.
The last transmission?
Yes, the last transmission.
Oh, okay.
What else would you call it?
An apology.
Oh, no, I don’t think I’d call it that.
Wouldn’t you?
No.
No?
Never eulogise or apologise.
Never what?
Eulogise…
Eulogise?
Or apologise.
What?
The Queen mum.
The Queen mum?
The queen mum.
The old dear with a gin?
That’s the one.
You mean complain, or explain.
Oh… yes.
Well, I think a certain amount of explanation may well be in order.
Really?
Yes
Really?
Oh?
Tell him you are dying.
Dying?
That always makes people get a wriggle on.
I’ll just say we are the last people alive and…
Alpha Centauri to the mother land.
This is all we can manage now.
All we can manage
The years go slow, but times passes quickly.
He clicks his fingers.
Transmission ends.

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