Campbell’s Fiftieth

The Rock Winery. Had crystal. Had 3 E’s.

Jeff turned up, at Bolago, just as it was getting dark. I’d said to him I wasn’t going until it was dark, he’d had agreed with that thinking. He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned turned up no long after.

Jeff left first and on his own, as I’d already arranged to go to the party with He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned. He and I smoked pipes in the carpark, before we went in.

The food was glorious and plentiful and tasted like nothing. Nothing at all. He, he, he! Just the way we like it. Pity, as it looked sumptuous.

There were lots of cute flirty boys… or was that me?

There was a boy at the beginning, I think his name was Sean, big and blond. He had the most incredible bulge in his pants, which I couldn’t help but look at. (I think my crystal was kicking in big time, about then.) It made him smile, made his eyes light up…when he saw me looking. Occasionally, nervously, he slipped his hand into his pocket and give it a nudge, surreptitiously. It would roll a bit, move. It was a big chunk, round and fat, pushing his jeans out in an amazing way. A great big package, sitting nestled between his legs. He’d beam. He stood where I could see him and kept checking to see if I was checking him…always grinning when my eyes came up from his bulge to meet his. He’d look around smiling to see if anyone else had noticed, in a coy, not-to-be-found-out kind of way, then he’d look back.

He went inside and positioned himself by a window so I could still see him. When he came back outside – there was a platform before the stairs – he stood for a while smiling, chatting to someone, stealing gazes over at me, continuously. He was kind of above me and in front, I was looking straight up at him. His happy nervousness showed that he knew I was looking straight at his cock. A better view of it I couldn’t get. I held my eyes on his lumpy bulge without looking up at him, for the longest time, so he could definitely see me mentally sucking his cock. The next thing his legs got fidgety and he turned around, momentarily. I looked away.

When he came down the stairs, I don’t know if it was the way his legs pushed forward with every step, framing his manhood spectacularly… but I think the cheeky, irremovable smile gave it away… and the full blush… and the solid gaze at me… he looked hot with a hard-on. He was looking at me, knowing that I was looking at his hard-on, swelling quickly in his pants. It looked big and round and laid sideways.

He may well have disappeared out into the dark, at this point, something that I didn’t pick up on up straight away. Mmmm? I reckon I’m past doing boys in bushes anyway. In a way, I’m glad I didn’t pick up on it. I had an eight bedroom house at my disposal, after all.

He came to dance on the dance floor and smiled sexily as I gazed at his jeans. He danced and smiled.

But when he left pretty soon after that, I wondered if he was a guest at all. He was a big, boofy, strapping blond boy, fresh faced and smiley, with solid hips that pulled the denim across the front of his jeans beautifully, but he still bulged out, prominently round.

I love flirting. I love getting someone's attention. I do it for their reaction. It amuses me... for a time.

So, I danced. There was a tent, set up on the lawn. It was dreamy, views of the country, flashing lights and groovy music. I floated on my magic.

Stared at Simon, a cute, blond straight boy’s lovely bulge while I was dancing with him and his wife, Michelle, it made him blush and smile. He looked like he liked it. Told his wife I wanted to suck his cock. She said she’d like to see that. She got turned on when I told her she could watch. Made the mistake of saying it to him…sucking the cock thing… he’s STRAIGHT, you idiot. (cringe! Too many drugs? cringe!) He was okay with it, kind of, but I should have kept it to myself. “I have no response to that,” was his response. He kept smiling as I stole looks at his full jeans and danced away.

He still managed to dance over in my direction. He still managed to dance facing me, most of the time. He still smiled and blushed and looked away coyly when he saw me looking at his cock. It was really sweet. (note to self, when flirting with a straight boy, keep it non-verbal)

Simon and Michelle were taking ½ e’s well, non-stop, pretty much.

Michelle danced over to me, at one point and said it was big and it was cut. I told Michelle she should go over to him and play with it and make it hard so I could see how big it was. She laughed and said the thought turned her on.

At one point, I thought Jeff looked cute and sexy (he did) and wondered about sex with him. After which, I decided I mustn’t think about Jeff that way again. (note to self, continually remind oneself that one is on drugs when one’s thinking strays to friends) Jeff’s about the only friend I fantasise about, mostly when I’m on drugs. Inhibitions go. Must keep away from him.

I stayed on the dance floor until the wee hours. Just me, Michelle and Simon. Chatting, gazing, smiling & blushing. After they left, I wandered inside.

I was standing by the fire thinking that it was time to leave, when I looked over at He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned to see him in full, verbal flight. He’s thin and long of limb and when he pulls himself up to full statuesque pose, he can look like a Vulture over its prey.

My eyes gazed around the room to come to rest on a very nice crotch sitting on one of the couches. I gazed without a care, it was late, I was whacked. When my eyes wondered around some more, I looked up to see the owner of the said nice crotch catching my gazing. He’d caught me. He liked it, it sure got his attention, let me tell you. Instantly, he was making eyes back at me, in the full-drug-eyed, distracted way. He was gorgeous, I wanted him. He picked that up too. He squirmed about a bit, in a hard-on kind of way.

Of course, none of this was missed by his boyfriend for very long. He was on to it quickly, which prompted him to wrap his arms tightly around his boyfriend, looking out of the corner of his eye at me. Blazing Eyes looked hot lying there snugly in his boyfriend’s arms with his eyes blazing for me, over his boyfriends shoulder.

I shook my head. Drugs, god love ‘em. Guys will do anything on drugs, pretty much true. Drugs make them up for it. I surveyed the room, it was abuzz with love and flirting. I decided to find He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned to suggest we headed for home.

 

Sunny Days

SMS. 8.21. (Tom) Morning miss, u r very quiet? The sun is shining, the sky is blue – Christian

Subject: Well well well

No idea what his name is but I do know they are refurbishing the establishment and he had heart palpitations due to stress yesterday and the father is too too gorgeous and they have a family home in Greece, just a short boat trip across the water from magnificent markets in Turkey... but his name I don't know...

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I'm bored and feeling boring... life and its endless mysteries as to 'why' are a little fuzzy to me at the present and I don't like it. I have always known my 'direction' but its eluding me at the moment... or maybe I am eluding it...

Oh fuck fuck fuckity fuck... why doesn't every life, like any good car, come with a manual???????

hrumph

me (Rachel)

xxx

Subject: Well well well

Well... as to the fortunes I have no idea but will find out. I do know he's had the place for 15 years or so... just about the time it went from topless waitresses with blokes jacking off on the footpath whilst ogling the bar girls thru the windows (whimsically cute image in my mind... he was old and had nothing better to do...) I am working with the sister tomorrow and will get goss... she visited him today...

Did I tell you my brother is interested in investing in a restaurant for me... it’s that coffee shop we always talked about, altho I do feel a need for alcohol... Jill wants 'too do' dinner at some stage... how are you placed for next Tues?

Rachel

Subject: Well well well

He’s had the place for 10 years tops. The topless girls where only there for a moment, not even. I’d even forgotten about them. (There were never any men masturbating on the footpath. Pity!) But before that it sold heroin to deros, which was what I much preferred, quiet, not wanting to draw attention to themselves. No noise. Anything N. has done has had a detrimental effect on the neighbourhood. Please don’t tell me he claims to have made any improvements to the amenity of the area since he’s owned it. Oh please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In fact, I would say that this used to be a quiet little corner of Fitzroy until N. took up residence.

Having said all of that, don’t mention me, as I have had a difficult relationship with N. and now I don’t have any relationship with him and I want it to stay that way. So get the goss and tell it all to me, but don’t mention me.

Woo-hoo for (brother) Craig.

Dinner is good for me, can’t make it Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. And Thursday I’m having my mouth operated on, so I could come, but it would be soup for me.

Now, I’ve got to pack my stuff and drag my weary carcass into my car and take myself off to Bolago for the weekend.

Christian

Subject: Hi Chris chris

Hi dear chri... Just wanted to let you know about our dinner at the wild Lotus Restaurant last night... spent a lovely night with Jen and her friend, Kerry La Gore, her name was Brenda but my god she was the spitting image, the voice ... the hair... the sence of humour... suffice to say ,it was very funny night... beautiful food... palatial surrounds and a real houit... Off to Ha Lon bay today with our new adopted son Lihn... he's never seen the sea before or been on a holiday... can't wait to see his face... he's just the most beautiful little soul... and yes I know we have to be very careful with his "tender heart" but it's really hard not to want to bring some magic into his life... he's had a hard time of it...

Jen is going to teach him english which is really great... better go the bus is waiting... lotsa love to you chris chris... Mark

Subject: Hi Chris chris

It all sounds grand. Shades of Carlos huh?

Christian

(Ed note – Carlos was a strapping, native Noumean who fell in love with me, when Mark and I had an affair with him, one lovely sunny holiday on the Isle de Pins. He slept snuggled up to me nearly the whole time we were there.)

I went to visit Tom on my way to Bolago. I called him on my walk home from work and he was very grumpy, monosyllabic answers that just left me hanging on the other end of the phone… so in front of Myer I hung up on him. But it played on my mind and when I went to give He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned some money at the salon. I called Tom and he said he would like a visit thank you very much.

I headed off to Bolago, with the last of my family’s old photos and a few of mine. I’ve only done the loose pictures, floating photos that have meant something to me over the years, surprisingly of which, there were a heap. I haven’t touched any of my photo albums. I will, but I figure they can wait for now, as they have some sort of order to them.

But I’ve done all the old ones. I now have photos from the 1900’s to present day. It is really interesting, the pictorial display gives my family and my life some history. Makes it more apparent. Puts it into my mind with greater clarity.

I’m just doing my bit. If every generation records just what they know then we’d have the family history sewn up. I’ve done it for the two previous generations, even if they were good with taking the photos and then being a bunch of hoarders.

Party Time

Subject: Just a thought

Hey, can you get stuff duty free or cheap over there? If you can, I'd really like a digital camera. You could get me one, if there are good deals.

The weather has turned gloriously sunny here, hints of summer, despite raining like a bitch last weekend. I'll be off to Bolago this weekend, of course, for the big party. I didn't think, stupid me, exactly what sort of party it was going to be, still getting over the shock of, actually, saying yes – did have an escape plan in the back of my head which something like not, actually, turning up. In case I saw the error of my ways, I'm sure Luke would understand – until He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned fronted up and said, "What do you want for the weekend?" Of course, think about whose going Christian. So let's hope the Canadian isn't gay or cute, otherwise he could be in for a rough time. He, he, he, only joshing. But Shane on full tilt, I ask you?

Christian

Subject: What?

Hey – I confirmed with the Macquarie dictionary – the plural of focus is foci.

Kym

Subject: just a thought

Okey dokey, well look for a camera for you, I was trying to think of what to get you, but now you've solved that one for us – good one ju.

The party should be fun – Liz Millar yay!!! At least the music will be groovy even if the crowd isn't (He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned Shane & Mark & Jeffy excepted of course).

The Canadian dude mentioned birdwatching in his emails so I have the feeling he may not be the partying type, although possibly cute – who can say????

Just got back from Sapa this morning on the overnight train and was met at the station by a couple of the guys from the hotel we've been staying at in Hanoi – they were soooo excited to see us, I think I’m going to smuggle one of them back home - his name is Linh, and he's the cutest thing you've ever seen. I don't think he even realises that were gay, but he's so affectionate, the young lady that runs the hotel was telling us that Linh couldn’t sleep last night because he was so excited. It's weird we've established this little Hanoi family in the few days that we’ve been here, you'd love it here cri, the people are just beautiful. We're off to Halong Bay tomorrow, staying on a junk for the night in a bay full of tiny little granite pillars, grottos, swimming & kayaking. Anywho, have a great weekend, say happy b'day to Hamish for us, then kick him in the balls – hehehe. Love ya, Luke.

Leah B. – How are you toots? Just wondering if the Sedgwick payment has turned up in the mail yet (50th anniversary weekend), it will probably be in a hand written addressed letter, so you may have to open all the mail to find it, if so, can you please deposit it asap, if not – can you give them a ring (number in the diary from a couple of weekends ago), and blast the shit out them for me!!!!

Just went shopping in Sapa – the mountain village region – and bought some beautiful stuff for the bedrooms, we're gonna have fun when we get home.

Thanks again for looking after the place, hope it’s not too much. Talk soon. love ya. Luke.

Home Maintenance

SMS. 7.54. Another lovely morning Miss. Here’s hoping it brings good fortune for us both – Tom

SMS. 8.20. I’ve got obvious beard rash from Manny and the washer in the kitchen sink is pouring water everywhere…that’s how it’s going thus far – Christian

I had to go and get a new washer (and wrench) to fix the cold water tap, which was pouring everywhere, before I went to work.

SMS. 9.12. Good luck with your op today – Christian

SMS. 9.12. Thanks! – Tom

When I went out for lunch, there were pretty wog-boys everywhere. Didn’t know where to look… well, I did know where to look, but they don’t always like some gay boy staring at the stitching on their jeans.

SMS. 14.32. So many wog-boys, so little time – Christian

Tom had his exploratory – up his dick – to see if they could quarterize the bleeding.

SMS. 18.18. (Tom) How’s ya cock? – Christian

Subject: Well, well, well

Just by coincidence the woman I work for at the Urchin Bar....Tina U... her brother owns The B's Arms....

Rachel

PS Is that how you spell coincidence?

Subject: Well, well, well

ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fat, ugly N? Yukko!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christian

Subject: Well, well, well

He has squillions though, apparently. Allegedly, owns an island somewhere. But he’s practically a hermaphrodite.

Rachel 

Tired and Emotional

SMS. 7.39. Morning Christian how are you this fine crisp morning? Another day closer to getting out :-) – Tom

SMS. 8.59. Morning, first day without a jacket. Lovely spring! – Christian

SMS. 10.09. You will be cold. Might be having the bladder scope today – Tom.

Subject: What?

foci

I think

PS: am a granny – it all happened last Thursday

PPS: we still on for next Tues (18th)

Kym

Subject: What?

foci?

What? Use it in a sentence.

Well now granny dear... boy, girl? Name? Number of fingers? Number of stitches?

You know, I'm still up for next Thursday, but now I think about it, I'm having the second operation on my gums that day, which will be okay, just that I will only be able to eat soup. But, be that as it may, sure I'm still up for Thursday.

Christian

Subject: What?

Except I thought it was Tuesday. Is it Tuesday or Thursday?

Foci...in a sentence? The foci of this particular study were...

Girl. Name – Ella (which is nice but doesn't really go with the surname Gardiner). Little – 6.4 pounds. All requisite parts. Stitches – yes but I don't know how many.

Why do you care about foci (or focuses)?

Kym

Subject: What?

Tuesday is better actually, teeth considered.

Ella is a lovely name. Just need to change her surname. (I always have a morbid fascination about the stitches... I think it comes from a position of safety, as I know it could never happen to me. Wallowing in other people's misery to be sure.)

I don't really care about focus, really, it was just a question someone asked. I rather thought that there was no plural.

Christian

Subject: What?

Good – let's make it Tuesday then.

Stitches – yep, fascinating... I mean that (as in, I'm fascinated too)

You might be right about no plural – I’m intrigued now though so I'll look into it for a real answer (rather than what I reckon is correct)

Kym

Subject: What?

Lovely! It's a date. We can discuss stitches and plurals and whatever is wrong in Christian and Kym world. (Best we have a long dinner, in that case) As we see it, natch, it doesn't have to be balanced or fair.

Christian

Subject: What?

Splendid – let me know what time you'll be turning up (I assume you'll be turning up near my work and we'll eat somewhere where you can flirt with waiters) If I've got that wrong let me know

Kym

Subject: What?

Oh yes, Mr Smiley waiter, let’s go there.

I'll be turning up after work, 5.30ish. We'll laugh, we'll chat, we'll drink wine and we will be fabulous.

Christian

Subject: we’re off

Hi Chris chris... just letting you know that we're off on a 3 day treck... so we'll be incommunicado ( whatever)... if there is any real emergency you can ring the hotel and talk to Mark... he can get a message to us...

Royal Hotel...

Sa Pa.

tel 871 313...

I had a fabby b'day...It's just soooooo beautiful here in the mountains...

Talk soon dear Chri...

Mark

SMS. 19.05. How’d your op go? – Christian

SMS. 19.13. It’s on tomorrow – Tom

SMS. 19.18. Oh. I’ll be able to slide my little finger up your cock by the time they’re finished – Christian

Got told off for this message, told it was disgusting and that Tom wouldn’t talk about me that way. Actually, told off when I was tired and had re-arranged my plans (on Fri 14th Oct) to visit Tom, so I wasn’t so up for being told off, let me tell you. I gritted my teeth and took it, sick is as sick does. But I didn’t stay much longer. Childishly, I couldn’t let it go and just had to leave for fresh air.

The thing that seems to happen mostly, when I visit Tom, is that I somehow get told off.

Okay, my black humour and lack of filter get’s me into trouble sometimes, and yeah, sure, I got this wrong, probably.

And you know, Tom has gone through/is still going through hell, but I am only human, and getting angst continually from someone, well, it’s difficult. Despite universal adoration, chuckle, do you like that, I'm really not that nice. I'm not the better person, and I do find it difficult to rise up above anger coming my way. Sorry. But I am no saint.

I just wish Tom would get better, this is exhausting.

Oh god (ironic use) I wouldn't say that to him, his head would probably explode.

You see, that makes me laugh, and once, it would have made Tom laugh too, even if he was momentarily snippy about it, he would see the funny side, but not really anymore. I hate Leukaemia it is taking my friend away in devastating increments.

Tell the World...

SMS. 07.30. Take the day off & have coffee with Billie & me in the sunshine. Let’s tell the world 2 go fuck itself! – Rachel

SMS. 07.45. Actual, yes, sure, let’s do it – Christian.

SMS. 08.00. Yay. Great. - Rachel

Subject: What?

(Kym)

What is the plural of focus?

Christian

Subject: happy birthday

Thanks chriso...I'm having a wonderful birthday we spent the afternoon in a beautiful garden in the sky...there was an orchid garden and beautiful rocks with amazing pathway winding hither and thither...just on our way out to dinner...hope your well and happy...talk soon M & L

Happy Birthday

Subject: hi from the boys

Hi Kids,

Firstly, to the question of PAV – NO NO NO....TELL HIM WE'RE booked out…he's a drug fucked pain in the arse (old friend of May & Adrian's)... can't stand him... is that clear enough....

And about the 15th – I have a feeling that the Canadian guy might be gay... in which case he'll understand a bunch of drug fucked queens, if not PLEASE take it down to the cottage!!!! The only other thing to think about for the Mr. Canada is meals – send him to Schittzils for breakfast lunch & dinner if need be & I'll fix it with Frank when we get home. It's completely up to you guys if you want to be there for him or not, just get him to pay his bill ($80 for accomm & brekky), when he arrives and give him the run down & he should be fine...thanks!!!!

Yes, the pumps should be turned off when no one is there.

Find out from Frank how much Vicki's (+friend) dinner will be, add that to their bill + I'll sort Frank.

Glad you’re like Schittzils, I'm loving the break from it to be honest. Hanoi is fucking amazing, we should have some stuff arriving in the post or by courier soon(ceramics) – lovely gorgeous things, hired a driver for the last two days – he took us to this antique place today that supplies all the shops in Hanoi, and we were a bit bad – But it's gonna be fucking Christmas when we get home!!!!

We need to sort out some system for reading emails, Leah B. – maybe if you only check emails in the morning it will give us a chance to check the mail browser first (Christian will explain hopefully), because if you receive the mail before us it takes the mail away from the place that we can read it from. We'll see how that works o.k. If there's anything that comes in that you think WE need to read, just forward it back to us.

Thank you both for holding down the fort for us, it's a big relief knowing that you're both there. Cri cri, you are definitely coming back here with us next time – you would fucking love it – 6 million motorbikes, cars, trucks & taxis & no road rules. This town was made for us, you can walk out into the busiest road & just like magic everything goes around you, and it's the only way of crossing the road, I actually closed my eyes the other night while walking & bingo, was across the road without a scratch – pretty cool hey!!! Getting on a train for Sapa (mountain region west of hanoi) in a couple of hours, overnight journey arriving 5.30am – praying for a comfy train cabin – not looking forward to Mark if he doesn't sleep well – hehehe. Anywho – love you both, talk soon, Luke & Mark. xxxxx.

I continued to scan mum’s photos until I was sick of it, going cross-eyed and dizzy. Well, not so much as dizzy, as when your eye sight goes a bit patchy. I guess they would call it Seeing Stars in a more dramatic occurrence. I just wanted to get it finished, so it was done.

As my Uncle Seth (before Aunt Leonora's poison finally took him out) used to say, "There's a good job done." I was hurrying to that point.

Subject: happy birthday

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Marky, happy birthday to you. (sang in harmony, of course)

Christian

Getting About

SMS. 8.45. Morning Miss. How are you today? It’s bloody cold here today. Are you in the city? – Tom

SMS. 8.51. @ Bolago where Mark has turned off the central heating! Brrr! Going blind from scanning the Fletcher family pictures. & u? – Christian

Drove down to have lunch with mum... like the good boy am I.

Visited Tom in hospital. Tom said that the visitors have gone quiet. He reckons it’s since Perry’s been in New York. Perry is loud and talks and tells people, so it’s in their minds to visit.

Drove back to Bolago. Up and over the Bolte as it was raining, just beginning to feel the joint that I had shared with Tom.

SMS. 19.10. Texting while driving stoned in the rain, doll – Christian

SMS. 19.09. Don’t! – Tom

SMS. 19.27. The joint worked... but – Christian

Subject: hi from the boys

Hello, LouLou & Christian here.

Glad you arrived safely & that you are loving it!

Sorry to baffle you with science on your (bastard) holiday, however we need to know this, who the hell is Pav? Can he stay for $50 a night? (as he claims) He wants to stay on the 15th October, with his son?

This is the night that LouLou has her wedding (and Christian is going to Campbell's). Can Pav play nicely with Canadian guy, unsupervised? LouLou will head off late arvo and come back to H.H. that night, if you prefer? Or, she does not have to go to wedding at all? (Christian will be off his tree by the time he gets back, LET ME ASSURE YOU!) Can you let us know about the above ASAP? Thanks.

We've lots of lovely rain (good decision about the floor heating, just by the way), when Leah B is not here Wednesdays & Thursdays should the pumps be turned off before she leaves?

Adam (Wilks) and Steven arrived last night. Luke is using his gold pass, sent them to dinner at Schittzils last night, with Jonathon & Lien, all had a fantastic time. Adam and Steven (blink and they partner up a la musical chairs. Suspected American (steven) hate him already. Leah B. thinks he's okay. I'm all for revoking the "gold pass" and sending them on their way. AMERICAN INDEED!!!!!!!!!)

Schittzils has been booked out for function tonight, so guests now not going there for dinner, however Frank is cooking up 4 meals & four deserts which LouLou will pick up this afternoon and serve up tonight. Do I need to charge Vicki & friend for this meal tonight?

I'm loving Schittzils thanks for that little earner Luke. Frank wants to introduce me to his brother Joe, and is already calling me sister!

So there you go. Get your thinking caps on and your pinkies typing. We wait in anticipation for your reply, so you can get on with your holiday.

L(ouLou) & C(hristian)

PS Get a new FUCKING KEY BOARD ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another Day in Paradise

SMS. 7.00. Morning Christian. Another day… missed out on good news yesterday. My eye has permanent damage. Deep breath. Lots of… thinking… I need some good news today. Some time out would be good. Sorry to dump on you! How are you? – Tom

SMS. 7.18. I’m good. Another day in paradise, huh? – Christian

SMS. 7.20. Yes that’s the one. Actually my holiday people will let me take it whenever I want :-) Tom

Subject: 11.11

Xin chao....hello hello

we're here in Jenny's apartment just having a breather before we go out into the frey... oh chris chris it’s just amazing here...just teeming with life and fabulousness....the streets are jam packed... each street has its own mode of shops... shoe street... sunglasser street... suit street... bathroom accessories... and so it goes...should have seen me on hardware street ...ooooh i was in heaven....I'm just loving it although it is full on... your eyes get so tired trying to take it all in...nearly everyone on the streets... zooming along on their vespers & every sort of scooter you can imagine... is under thirty…baby boom after the war...you don't wait to cross the street you just walk out into it and they all go around you... it's really hard to get your brain to accept... but once you do it's fun and quite exhilarating.

It’s just so full of life with a great sense of community...the Vietnamese are so lovely and friendly... I'm just eating it up... will write again soon...

lots of love M&L

Ah, the end of the week. Friday, the big, tired stop – shut off, close eyes. But first, I’m off to Bolago to scan photos.

Skipping off into the quiet, slipping off into the green. Skipping the city scene, for a little peace and quiet, serenity and all that open space, as far as I can see, no matter which way I face. It's nice to get away for a couple of days, it sure is.

Dribbling

SMS. 7.23. A lovely morning Miss. Maybe the day will bring good news – Tom

SMS. 8.11. It’s a gorgeous morning here on the tram, even complete with a couple of cute wog-boys chatting gaily – Christian

Subject: 11.11

(M&L)

Hello, hello wherever you are?

I hope all is well and you are having a fabulous time.

Me? I'm licking the salt off the walls as I type. Poor, stay at home me.

Christian

Subject: Hello

Christian

Umm – how about the week after next (seeing as I've been so terribly tardy in getting back to you). What days work for you?

Kym

Subject: Hello

Tardy! Don't you just love the word tardy? A bit like remiss. I was tardy and I was remiss... sounds like half the people I work with. Although, I do have a separate bunch of stronger words for that particular group, none of which I can use on work email.

Any day but Wednesday is good for me. Tuesday or Thursday?

Christian

Subject: Hello

How about Tuesday (18th)?

PS: Saf has gone into labour – I'm really going to be a gran, maybe even by tonight!

Kym

Subject: Hello

Hey old woman

Tuesday would be just fine. Do you feel the granniness creeping toward you?

Christian

Subject: Hello

Yeah – and it's not good (it's wrapped in pale blue polyester stretch pants with a matching fleece lined jumper topped off by a rain coat on a 35 degree day for good measure and wanting coffee that's too hot and thinking that I should go first in the queue because I'm, well, old so don't I deserve it and...argh!)

Kym

Subject: Hello

dribbling...

Christian

Subject: Hello

Yep, all over my poorly applied fuchsia lipstick.

Kym

Subject: Hello

dabbing at yourself absent-mindedly, vacant eyes, as your cupofchino spills down your chin.

Christian

Subject: Hello

oh god it's too horrible for words...now where's my knitting?

Kym

SMS. 17.20 For a girl with as big a gob as yours, u r being very quiet? – Christian

SMS. 17.21. All I need is 5 minutes 2 myself. Aren’t I hilarious. Life is fucked & then u die. U need a day off to see Billie! – Rachel

Subject: addresse

To late Criso ýêre already here... my god this place is gob smacking...

I am in a dream.... just ýaiting fo r jenny to pick us up...

Talk later... love us.

Mark

Subject: addresse

M&L

But I sent it before you left.

Are you having fun? What are you seeing? Is it like a completely different place?

Don’t put any extra packages in your boogie boards.

Christian

Subject: By the way

(M&L)

Email me at home, not at work – even if I emailed you from work. Don't do as I do, do as I say.

He, he, he.

Christian

Journal writing is a voyage to the interior.

If indeed you must be candid, be candid beautifully.

The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in determination.

Is there life before death?

Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.

When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Stoners and Non-Stoners... Always a Problem

SMS. 8.14. Morning Miss. Good night sleep and it’s a brand new day – Tom

SMS. 8.17. Morning, slept in, dashing as I type – Christian

SMS. 8.18. Have a good day Christian – Tom

SMS. 8.23. U too, me luv – Christian

Subject: Hey?

Is the lovely Nicholas getting any you know what this week?

Christian

Subject: hello

He usually goes on Friday.... But I don’t really want to encourage him, as it is starting to give me the SHITS! However – no doubt he will want some. I will let him know that you want some tooo!!.... He has Thurs & Fri off this week so no doubt he will indulge.

Tim

Subject: hello

If you want me to try someone else, I can. I don't want to cause any drama between the two of you.

Christian

Subject: hello

There is no dramas and Im fine with it... he just seems to be smoking a lot more of it than he was before – but I need to talk to him about that.

Tim

SMS. 16.45. I got my room back! At least that’s a nice thing. Hope your day has been okay – Tom

SMS. 17.00 Yey, for a room of your own – Christian

Highs & Lows

SMS. 7.35. Morning miss, how r u? – Christian

SMS. 7.48. Missy’s sitting in the back yard in a pool of light looking as pretty as a picture – Christian

SMS. 8.41. Hi. Another – Tom

SMS. 9.12. I am feeling very sorry for myself – Tom

SMS. 9.19. Oh miss, big hugs, I’m thinking of u always – Christian

SMS. 11.23. Thanks Christian it’s just hard sometimes. Jude is coming in to cheer me up – Tom

SMS. 11.27. I’ll come cheer u up tonight – Christian

SMS. 11.26. That would be lovely – Tom

I went to visit Tom to cheer him up… in his shared room. The shared room seems like an unfair cruelty, at this stage. He wasn’t happy, nor was I cheering him up. I don’t think I was even touching the surface of cheering him up.

Mark and Luke are leaving for Vietnam tonight. I was going out to the airport to see them off, to wave and say goodbye until I spoke to Luke last night.

“Why are you coming out to the airport, it’s not like we are going away for good. We’re only going on a holiday.”

It got me thinking. Airport. International flight. They are just going to check in and go through “those doors”.

Tonight, I was just home from hospital when Mark called. “I’ll see you when you come back. Have fun. Be careful.”

Luke was funny when he called. “Just enough time for a pre-flight joint.” He said I should email as they won’t have their address book out of Outlook.

Subject: addresse

(M&L)

Bonyaggee…

Christian

Yeah, baby, show us everything

Boys on the Tram

The sun was shining in Gertrude Street. I had on my new boots, hoping like hell that they wouldn't be shredding skin from my feet before the day... hell, morning was out.

Brown suite, Aussie boy, glasses, at my stop. I noticed him first as he climbed the tram stairs in front of me. Nice, as his suit jacket rode up. Good thighs. Great arse.

He stood by the door in the crowded tram, next to me. He had a gym bag he was holding, with an arm straight down in front of him. Cutting himself in half; it has to go somewhere, to one side, nice and round. His thumb pushed into him, seductively. I wanted to see him put pressure on it. Push. Enjoy it. Let me see, or, at least, not care.

I stood and gazed at it... er... him unashamedly. We were standing, he was facing me and I just stood looking down.

The tram cleared a bit, so I could get a ticket. I didn't want to leave. But, it was stupid, a ticket inspector and no ticket was not desirable. I got a ticket and sat by the machine.

The next thing he'd moved too and had come to stood in front of me... strong and tall, facing me, not inhibited. He smiled. Still with his lovely bulge... I just lent back (it was one of those standing seat arrangements) and gazed. I didn't care.

He got off at my stop and followed behind me all the way into the building. He only deviated when I turned right to my lift and he turned left to his.

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident'

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sit stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands. Finally, the President looks up and asks,

"How many is a Brazillion ??!

Subject: hello

You make me laugh.

How are you by the way? Ready to do dinner again sometime soon?

Kym

Subject: hello

I'm good. I've discovered that the printer up in the country is also a scanner, so now I am collecting photos together to represent my journal pictorially as well as descriptively, so my weekend was taken up with that... having car problems, playing with my mum, visiting cemeteries to see my great grandmother – she's never looked better for a woman who has been dead for 90 years and visiting sick friends in hospital.

How are you?

I'm all ready for dinner again, yes siree Bob.

Christian

Subject: 1.11

(M&L)

Afternoon

Christian

Subject: hello

I'm splendid (although insanely overworked). Your weekend sounds lovelier than mine – and you so needed an excuse to do more journalling and less writing...

Let me know when a good time for you is (for tea that is).

Kym

Subject: hello

More time for journalling, that's what I say. I'm going to have all of my decades represented in 5 year blocks on my computer, (when I'm finished) from my first kindy photo to present day. It's interesting to see the changes in friends, and partners – Jasus! They changed sex – not to mention the changes in oneself.

Dinner? It will have to be this week, or the week after next. Next week is my busy week... even if I am way ahead at the moment, it can all go to shit in a blink of an eye.

Christian

SMS. 16.03. They are moving me to a share room :-( I could go mad – Tom

SMS. 16.08. Oh… I think u should leave then… it will affect your time in the house… – Christian

Subject: You’re getting’ old mate

Dear Campbell

I know I’m late with the R.S.V.P., but I would love to come to your birthday party. I only come clear by Monday afternoon.

Surely on poof time, I’m hardly late at all. Besides, I’m a part time neighbour. But let’s not get on to country time, as they’d be anal, all R.S.V.P.’d by the correct date. Some I’m going with Tribe Fitzroy, member of that is, so I should be practically early, if you get my drift?

Mark and Luke asked me to send their biggest birthday wishes, as they won’t be able to make it, as they will be OS.

love

Christian

SMS. 21.37. R U going to Campbell’s b/day? – Christian

SMS. 21.36. Yes, are you? – He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned

SMS. 21.38. I am now – Christian

SMS. 21.38. Shall we go together… we must talk – He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned

SMS. 21.40. yes, that would be lovely – Christian 

The Country, Then Home

Chuckle. He'd, actually kill me for that, especially in his current mood. There is, actually, only one occasion where he did drag, with my boyfriend Lauri and D. He made a really ugly drag queen, but maybe that is the point of drag? Well, I always find it ugly. And yes, there were drugs involved.

Ah, Waking up on Sunday in the country, there is nothing like it.

SMS. 9.14. Morning Christian. Beautiful day! I actually wish I was in Bolago gently laughing perhaps. Give the hags my love – Tom

SMS. 9.20. Morning miss. No cigarettes so was forced to have a small joint. I wish you were here having a laugh – Christian

SMS. 9.24. Forced no less! I am resisting so far I need to shave! A wash might help too but let’s not go overboard xx – Tom

SMS. 9.26. Just scanned my favourite drag photo of u, preparing internet publication – Christian

SMS. 9.36. Oh spoil me why don’t you. They are all lovely photos anyway. I have nothing to fear – Tom

SMS. 9.39. Except from the little miss’ who r jealous of u – Christian

SMS. 9.55. I thought Mark was the only jealous one! Who else pray tell? – Tom

I meant the jealous “they.”

It was the most glorious day at Bolago, I had to tear myself away.

I called Manny for twenty minutes, from 1pm, as I cruised in the sunshine down the freeway. I kept calling until I cruised past Brunswick Road, where I waved him goodbye. Blew him a kiss and stopped calling.

Then I called Tom to say I was coming to visit. He said his parents were there, just in case I minded. The sun was soft and warm on my face, as the Rover accelerated up onto the Bolte. I was ultimately on my way to mum’s to drop off the car in anticipation of getting the Peugeot back tomorrow and I visited Tom twenty four hours ago, also with his parents. I like his parents, but one visit a week with them is enough. I called him back and said I’d come another time when he needed a visitor.

SMS. 14.26. Yeah day light savings started today! We are now 3 hours in front :) Boo to terrorists :( – Lauri

Mum and I walked down to the shops and bought fish & chips.

SMS. 15.19. There go the curtains… with all that extra sun – Christian

I left the car and caught the tram. I can sense that mum kind of dreads when she’s left on her own… maybe not dreads, just tries to make her accompanied moments stretch out as long as possible. She walked down to the corner with me and was still waving when I disappeared around the corner on Burke Road.

The tram ride was leisurely, surely a most agreeable way to travel.

Tim and Sylvia were drinking wine on a rug in the back yard making most of the glorious sun. Nicholas arrived on his bike.

I played with my scanned photos. I want to represent the decades on my computer in pictures. If photos are in an album or in a pile I never look at them, but on my computer. It kind of fills in the blank gaps, it is interesting to see the people change. I have a stack of old photos somewhere.

 

Bolago

My Old Mum, Hospital, Country

Up at 7am. Yay for me. Got to get ready soon and head over to mums… by tram. Get the Rover, drive mum to 3CR to get her confounded salt. Then visit Tom and then head to Bolago.

When I spoke to Tom last night he said please come and visit, I am bored off my brain. Poor Tom, it’s a bad thing, as far as my visiting record goes, if he has to implore me to visit.

Went to mums. We didn’t get the wretched salt, we got cat food instead. Then we drove to Brighton Cemetery to visit great grand mama Emily. I took a photo of her grave.

SMS. 13.15. On my way – Christian

I visited with Tom, we sat in the sun and smoked pot, until his parents turned up, so we headed to the café and ate.

I got to Bolago around 5pm. Sebastian’s last Saturday night. It was a transcendental meditation weekend, so the guests were very quiet.

I scanned all the photos I had taken.

I fell asleep in the L.G.L. (little gay lounge) watching The Sound of Music. (of all things) I woke up alone at 3am.