Just Lately

I've been in a very funny mood lately, I just can't seem to find my happy groove. I just can't seem to get enthused about stuff. Manny has called a few times, I've blown him off. Bad choice of words. He's been calling me up beginning of the week to tell me he's been out all weekend with the beautiful Stuart to clubs just around the corner from my place. But I haven't seen him once. Good for you buddy.

Friends have left messages, come out, we want to see you. Come and play. Lets have fun. I haven't answered. My enthusiasm is rock bottom. Does that happen from giving up pot and tobacco? Can it lead to... no motivation?

I've just preferred to be on my own, deal with the boring bits on my own. Curl up on the couch and read. I'd recommend the book that I'm reading at the moment, Shadowboxing, author Tony Birch, set in Fitzroy, practically (literally) set in my street.

I'm the most together, the most laid back, member of my group of friends, so my friends tell me. It's funny, when you are considered the strong one, the person who people come to when they need someone, advice, they just don't seem to see it when you feel like you are... oh, I don't know.

I just don't seem to be able to see the point just lately? It feels like I've been there done that, with just about everything. Surely, I don't have to continue doing this, for the next however many years... for the rest of my life?

Where's the spark? Where's the wonder? Where's the excitement at the discovery of something new?