I want Hamish & Andy to secretly be lovers. They are healthy, strapping boys. I'd like to watch the two of them in a heated snog. I admit to a slight crush on Hamish, for some reason. And Andy isn't bad either - although, those ears? Batchelor of the year, but.

Matthew Lloyd is looking pretty buffed.

That inept bag of wind Kim Beasley can't even get Rove's name right, at, arguably, the most significant moment in Rove's life.

Here's one to have a laugh over. Naomi Campbell is still denying that she has ever assaulted anybody?

Apparently, God has answered Michael Jackson's prayers. You'd be changing churches, now wouldn't you?

I've been watching under water footage - pun intended - of water polo. It's pretty hot stuff. I've got one question to ask, Straight boys?

Manny and I had phone sex again last night. We're a couple of lazy bastards.

I have to dye my hair and now I've had a couple of joints. The last time I did that I managed to get it all up the bathroom wall.