The Cosmic Muffin

All hail to the Cosmic Muffin! The great giver of life. The creator of the world. He made man in his own image - no wonder there is so much obesity. Muffin-tops are the chosen few. He gave his only mini-muffin to save man from his sins; born on a virgin muffin tray, never been used before. Something sweet sent down to absolve us of all our sins. A sugary treat in which we all part take.

Ixnay, on the hell and damnation, ay.