Defences down

The phone rang, I picked it up without thinking. Yes, I screen calls.

"You have vun a holiday... to some where. All you have to do is blah, blah, blah..."

It was one of "those" calls, uninvited and unwanted.

I'd been out for drinks, down the pub with poofter buddies talking sex, so I guess I was primed. You know, feeling woozy, not able to stand still while standing still. The head was swooning, the self checking mechanism was off line. And then it just came out, fuck me!

"You sound like you have a nice penis, would you show it to me?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You know, down your pants, where it is sweaty and warm," I said. "Does it grow big and strong? Do you like playing with it? "

Silence.

"Well do you?"

Silence.

"Well?" I said kind of sultry and smooth... reality check, slurred and pissed.

"You're a bud mun. A very bud mun."

Dial tone.

I laughed and hung up the phone. Well there you go. Dealt with quite nicely.