Ho, Ho, Fucken Ho

She's fucken putrid. Maggoted is probably a better expression.

I've been out for xmas drinks with my mate Rachel, at her restaurant. I've been on the shiraz, a glass or seventeen. I was really fucken wasted, couldn't see straight until I had that hurl in the dunnies, late. Actually, two, hurls not dunnies. Yep, I'm all class. Fuck me! Big, blood red evacuations; the bowl, the seat, the wall, like blood splatter at a murder scene. Yes, pretty, but I felt so much better, afterwards. Don't worry, I mopped it up with some bog paper, I'm not that crass. Mindless on my knees, hanging onto the rim with one hand for balance, dabbing at the blood clots of sick on the white titles, with the other, until I got it all.

A wipe of the mouth and it meant I could go back out and join in the conversation again. Someone got me coffee. Lovely.

I must have caught the last tram back to the city; late night at the Albert Park light rail was peaceful and still. A sublime lull between the madness. I didn't realise it was quite so late. That tram terminated at the Yarra. So, then I walked from Flinders and Spencer to Fitzroy, it took me an hour at half past mid night.

I could have caught a taxi, but I chose to spend the ten bucks on hamburgers instead. Two fillets and a bacon McDeath. Cute wog boys in the Bourke Street Maccas took an inordinate amount of time to make their selection, so much for McD's fast new service. But, I really didn't care, I was perving on their cute arses, tight and firm everyone of them, all lined up. I entertained myself by imagining that I'd... blush... you all know what I was imaging.

The walk was long, there were silhouettes of people in the distance disappearing into the shadows. People were line up in the Bourke Street Mall looking at the Myer windows. At 1am? I guess that's not so late.

I slipped into Hungry J's, at Russell Street and bought more sustenance. Not as nice decor as McD's, but I reckon the burgers are better.

More cute boys filling their jeans out, though, as I think my right eye opened fully again.

Yep! Gorgeous!

Now I just feel fucked. Head ache, sore calves and feet. Bloated stomach, as you can well imagine. Now I lay my head down to sleep... good night, y’all!