My Baby Headed Overseas, Tonight

I wake up at 6am having had lots of dreams. It’s amazing when I quit pot how active my brain is at night. All my weird and wonderful dreams that I always used to have, have all come back to me. I watch Sam sleeping, he looks lovely when he is sleeping.
I fall back to sleep. Sometime later I wake up again and Sam’s eyes open and he says good morning. I say, “Good morning lovely.”
He replies,” So I am lovely now?”
Oh yes, that's right. I tell him that he isn’t lovely and that he is selfish.
He says he thinks he was incredibly clever and very funny.
I tell him again he was not funny.
We cuddle. He kisses me. He convinces me that he is right.

We get up and brew coffee and eat muesli. Ha ha, of course.
I watch the old "Homosexual Warning Video" on YouTube as I eat my breakfast. It’s hysterical. Actually, if it wasn’t so homophobic it would be very funny. Oh, it’s funny now.
Young Jimmy is just a cock tease and clearly wants it from the outset, that is clear.

We head to the city to shop. We go to Harvey Norman and buy a foot spa and a toaster. Sam is taking the foot spa home for his mother. I don't know why I didn't buy the toaster yesterday.
The toaster is for me, as the one I have now, I think, has become dangerous. Sometimes it just burns the toast for no apparent reason. I reckon one day, if not watched, it could possibly burn the toast to flames and since that is the way my mum set her kitchen alight, I’m not taking the chance.

We walk home up Little Lonsdale Street... my favourite route home, as I like the architecture.

We eat Japanese in Brunswick, Lygon Street, bento boxes. It’s nice, but three times more expensive than the bento boxes in Carlton. Our last dinner together, our last before we don't see each other for three weeks.
We head to Sam’s and he packs his bags as I watch, A Few Good Men.
James, Sam’s housemate, is not around, which is good. He doesn’t like me and I don’t like him. Actually, I only don’t like him because he’s grumpy and unfriendly.
I drive Sam to the airport, we leave before A Few Good Men finishes.

My baby heads overseas. I drop him off at the departures. He hugs me, I hug him, by the side of the road.
"What am I going to do without you?"
"Get a job," he replies dryly. He smiles and squeezes me tightly.
Then I had to move my car, I am being directed. But, but, but? And I wave him good bye. He blows me kisses. Then he is waving in my passenger window and then in the back window and then he is walking through the airport doors smiling and still waving... and I am driving down the road way, trying to look back art him and then I am turning away from the airport and the freeway is in front of me.

He's gone for three weeks. He's gone home for his sister's wedding. I should have gone with him. I wish I'd gone with him.

I come home and watch the end of Harry Potter with Shane in the dark. He wants a boyfriend and he hates being on his own and I suspect he is feeling depressed and hiding away from the world in the dark.

We watch the first episode of The Black Adder… all on Apple TV.

I text Sam still waiting at Melbourne Airport to board his plane. Waiting, waiting. Still, he enjoys a shop, so I am sure he is taking advantage of the duty free… of course.