I'm well versed in the dark arts of passive aggressive... 

Is that a tarot?

Middle Aged white men have driven our hopes and dreams into the ground as they feather their own nests and make laws for corporate Australia, there has to be a better way

You've Got To Love Thursdays

It was a lovely day, the weather has been great. We both had the day off, we took the dogs to the park. The sun shone, the sky was blue.

Sam shopped in Wollies, Buddy and Bruno and I waited outside. We sat on the plantation. The Yarra City Council used to clean the streets once, clearly not any more, there was shit every where. Buddy stood in front of me, off his lead, waiting for Sam to return. Bruno sort out sticks in the garden, chewing them oblivious.

David is back from drug rehab in Thailand, he just got back to Brisbane. I asked him if he could br trusted, he said, "Next question." He's going to buy himself a new Audi, so, I guess, that will keep himself distracted. Yellow, though? He is going to buy a yellow one. I sent him a great picture of a gum metal grey one, but he has decided on yellow. "Too drab," he said. He is going to call the new car sunshine. I think I had names for my first couple of cars that I had before I grew stubble on my chin. In fact, just my first car when I was eighteen. And then it wasn't me who named it.

Jill is going to bid on two houses this weekend, she still hasn't secured a new house to live in. She says the house prices have gone crazy since they turned around. She was depressed because she sold her old house when the prices were down, but she missed buying another house in the same depressed market. "The house prices turned around so suddenly, catching me off guard," she said. They caught a lot of people off guard.

LeeLou Brown called me, her mum has been sick, mostly from a change in her meds. "She started acting like a crazy person," said LeeLou Brown. "So, we had to get her seen too." Her mum is now stabilised, and LeeLou is ready to get the hell out of Mother Dodge. She has been staying with her mum for a while. "Being a carer is hard work," she said. It sure is, I thought, and my mind wandered back to Lottie and me trying to look after her. Me, often crying in the car alone at the lights on my way home, it was such hard work.

Sam is going interstate for work next week, LeeLou and I should have a pot play date.

It was a beautiful day. It was. I love spring, crazy, balmy, changeable, slowly turning to summer, but not as hot as hell as summer can get, spring.

Anyway, I'm off to make a banana cake, my fall back cake tin filler. My mother made banana cake as her fall back cake tin filler, and although I don't make my mother's banana cake, have I turned into my mother, none the less? Do we all turn into our parents eventually? I don't know?

Guy's arses in suite pants, now that is something

I followed this guy up Collins Street... with the great arse. OMG! You could suck your dinner out of it the crack in those butt cheeks was so pronounced.

Now that is stylish, don't you think

There has been an influx of hetro wedding parties taking photos in Fitzroy of late, this never used to be the case. Is this what marriage equality has given us?

Couldn't Sleep, Wouldn't Sleep, My mind said I Shouldn't Sleep

5am. I can’t sleep, I am lying in bed staring at the ceiling. You know, usual stuff, I am nothing, I never do anything and eventually everyone finds out and they look to other people who are more interesting.

It is still dark at 5am, it is hard to see the ceiling.

All there is is breathing. Staring into the dark.

Luv, Close Your Window

The girl over the road in the middle floor of the flats had her window open and was clearly getting fucked with the groans she was emitting. The girl on the floor above was looking out her window, I think, trying to get this girl’s attention... or was she trying to take photos, I’m not sure now. People walking in the street were looking at each other and smiling in that kind of bemused kind of way. We ran upstairs and perved from our balcony to see what we could see, which wasn’t much, some white skin, the curve of his back. 

One of the neighbours said later that it had been going on for hours, from this morning. The two of them had obviously taken drugs and were oblivious to the world around them. They are going to be really embarrassed tomorrow, in the stairwell of their block of flats, I’m sure. Or, perhaps not. Who knows?

Drinking coffee in Collins Street

A long black and the world psycho drama

Nobody should vote for Scott Morrison? The man lies as easily as he breaths. He seems to have no conscience about deceiving the Australian people. 
His climate changes credentials are summed up in the moment he took coal into the House of Representatives, that's what he thinks of your climate change concerns.

Small Vet Appointment, Then a Big Lunch, Sweetie

We're taking the dogs to the doctor, a double appointment, that will be quite a high energy consultation. They are both having allergy caused paw problems. Buddy has always suffered from red growths between their toes - um, he's not gender fluid - his toes and now Bruno has just got his first. We're trying out a bulldog specialist for the first time.

Then it is off to lunch, I reckon, it is Sunday after all. If it was a nicer day we might have headed to the beach. All four of us, best we find a nice table outside somewhere. They always attract a lot of attention when we take them both out to lunch, which is sometimes cool, and yet at other times it is a bit much, when we want to sit quietly and eat.

It's a bit overcast and not so sunny, but we'll see how we go.

The specialist vet was nice, so much information dumped on us, so much to think about. It all sounded good, kind of what I wanted to hear, expected to hear. He sounded genuine, I hope he is genuine. It is hard to find people who are genuine, rather than genuinely interested in money.

... we ate pork rolls by the Yarra, while Buddy and Bruno ran around with a bunch of doggo mates. We sat on an old picnic table and chairs. We moved from one picnic table, that was in the shade, to a picnic table which was in the sun, for the sun, and after sitting in the sun for a while, a short time, I moved to the shady end of the picnic table. You never know what you want, hey, until you have it, and then sometimes it is, I don't want this now. It doesn't matter even if you have moved especially to get it. The picnic tables were made of weathered wood, like drift wood, perhaps, surrounded by grass all around, lush green grass. The dogs ran around in dog packs, temporary for sure, but they were having a good time. Joggers ran passed, bike riders glided passed on their bikes. The sky was blue, the sun shone.

2pm Every Friday

And if we are going to survive...

... we might have to strike every Friday

What's Wrong With People?

There was a question online, why is the country burning? Why are the rivers running dry? Why is there a drought? Why is Scott Morrison, and David Littleproud, and Craig Kelly shitting their pants? Why do your children effectively have no future? I can’t quite remember exactly, but it was a perfectly reasonable cause and affect climate change question. And the participants were asked whether, or not, they thought the cause was, in fact, climate change.

38% of the people said it was not.

That amounted to a number frighteningly close to 50% of the people who do not believe in climate change.

The message isn’t getting through to the stupid people, now is it.

The lying, obfuscating, cola backed, fat slag Western Australian billionaire endorsed conservative politician s are winning, now aren’t they.

I was shocked. It was nine.msn.

We're not going to survive, are we? Like, I didn't already know that.



Just as an aside...
The two women who sit closest to me at work, Mum and theidiot, always get a slightly bemused look on their faces whenever I talk about climate change. Usually it is after they have complained about the unseasonal weather, or the bushfires destroying the country. They kind of fix their jaws in a half open attitude and just kind of look wide-eyed at me, as if surprised, as if they think I am a fool for believing in this climate change nonsense.

We’re not going to survive?



And then there was this...
I watched David Attenborough’s Seven worlds on which there was a segment on Walrus. The ice they usually lie on has melted leaving them a small island on which to rest. The island is small and there is a lot of them, something like 100 thousand, or something, a huge percentage of the world’s walrus population. Due to the overcrowding on the island, some of them have to climb up on to high peaks to find space. One of their predators is the polar bear from which the walrus can protect itself in the water, but on dry land they are not so agile. And now that they are having to lie on high ground their advantage is lost and the polar bears can attack them much more easily. To escape some of the walrus throw themselves off the high peak towards the water to escape the polar bears, falling to their deaths. It was hard to watch knowing that us humans are responsible due to our poor management of the planet.
We owe a duty of care to all of the other creatures on this planet.

At the least, even if we are too stupid to save ourselves, we should be giving all the other creatures on this planet a chance at continual survival.

It is sobering to realise that every other creature on this planet would be better off without us.

Bad Dream

I had a weird dream about the word upendedness. I was doing some word game with my now ex friend Josh Gale and I had to find synonyms. I had a time limit. I wasn't getting it. I wasn’t going to finish. I couldn't find the word. I was going to fail. I woke up with a start, tossing and turning. Dear God (do you like the way I use God ironically) When did Jeopardy become a thing of nightmares?

Climate Change for Queenslanders

About the fires burning across Queensland today, maybe Queenslanders might like to consider voting for a government that takes climate change seriously. Queenslanders were a key voting block responsible for returning our truly hideous, climate change denying, conservative government to power, because Queenslanders wanted new coal mines built for jobs.

Well, Queenslanders, as your homes burn, you get to see what the outcome really is of voting for climate change deniers, in an immediate and practical way.

I have no sympathy for climate change deniers any longer. We have the vast majority of scientists telling us what the science is and yet we still have backward states like Queensland voting for fossil fuel extraction.

The same as I now believe it is time to start cutting the climate change deniers out of the debates about the future. We don’t have any time left to make allowances for fools.

Climate Change for Victorians

6pm I lit a fire. I have never had an open fire in November before. Never.

As parts of the country burn, Victorians are experiencing a big chill.

No people, our climate isn't changing, no cause for alarm.

I read a survey recently that said 38% of people don't believe in climate change. We're doomed, I tell you. People don't want to believe it because if they did they would have to change the way they live.

I made such a comment at work regarding our unseasonably cold weather, "And people still don't believe in global warming."

This was met with this response from my work colleagues, "If it was global warming, surely we'd be having hotter weather not cold." They laughed mockingly, really.

(Note to self, remember to use the term climate change) "Overall, the planet is warming, but it is the change in the weather that is significant, whether it is hot or cold. Our climate is changing, and we all need to take it more seriously," I said.

No response from the peanut gallery.

Day Off

It rained all morning. On and off. On and off. The rain came down.

There was a moment when the rain stopped and the sun came out, and Bruno and I headed to the dog park.

But, the rain was never far away, and it was wet and cold. New South Wales and Queensland were burning with bushfires. Funny weather we are having. You’d almost be forgiven for thinking our climate is changing. Of course, not in QLD, they don’t think our weather is changing at all. Of course, Queenslanders are smarter than the average.

Sam came home and cooked me a red curry for lunch. Heated it up. I cooked fresh rice when I got home from the dog park. In the rice cooker. I, actually, know the other way to cook rice, in a saucepan, but I don’t do it that way. Who wants to do it that way?

I spent the afternoon on the couch with Buddy and Bruno watching MotorTrendOnDemand.com, my favourite car show. A bulldog on each side. And a bunch of guys fixing up old cars. Lovely.

When I stay home all day, when Sam is working all day, I have to make sure the kitchen is cleaned up so he can come home and cook dinner. So, around 4pm I had to tear myself away from my pups and the TV to get the kitchen in order. You know, get that rice cooker back in the cupboard. Wash the saucepan in which the red curry was heated. A clean sink, and a clear bench, that’s what’s required, equals a clear conscience.  You know the look that makes it look like I have done the most work. But, I haven’t.

Tough day, but somebody has got to do it.

Hi Jeff

We were heading to Coles to do some shopping. As we walked down Smith Street a voice said, 

“That is Christian Fletcher, I know that voice.” 

It was Jeff Titan heading to the optometrist. Fancy seeing Jeff, after he was mentioned by BigAnge, and then I wrote about him recently. There he was, looking shiny and new and smiling and saying hello. He looked good, he hasn’t changed.

It is interesting how those coincidence happen all the time. Of course, the cave dwellers amongst us would make more of it, even David would say it was a sign from Shiva herself, of some such nonsense, but it is just a coincidence.

“Hi Jeff, how are you?” Cute as ever, I think.

Sam walked onto the super market.

"I'm good, Christian, how are you?"

Still got a thing for you handsome, even I was surprised. "I'm good. You got trouble with your eyes?"

“No trouble. It’s just twelve months is up.”

“That’s very organised.” Ha ha, 

“I’m organised, what can I say.”

You’ve still got nice eyes, kiddo. “Life’s good?”

“Life’s good,” said Jeff.

We gazed at each other after that. I have no idea what Jeff was gazing at. I was gazing at him. I’ve always liked gazing at him. It never worked out between the two of us. Pity. But that was last century.

“Well, good to see you,” I said. And it was. “You’d better get to your appointment?”

“Yes,” said Jeff.

“And I’d better get my groceries home,” I said.

“Good to see you too,” said Jeff. And there was his sweet smile.

No matter what anybody says to the contrary, to save the human race, and the rest of the species on this planet, we need to stop burning fossil fuels

Life Is Good

8am. Drinking coffee with my bulldogs wrestling at my feet. Life is good.

Public holidays are always good. There is some horse race on which I couldn’t really care less about. Is horse racing cruel to horses? [grimace] Er?

The sun just came out. Lovely.

I only have to work Monday and Wednesday this week, you’ve got to love that. I only have to work one day before I get a day off. Of course, it’s not good for me, give me a day off and I never want to go back.

Oh, I’ve got to get writing, and then I can stop work. I can’t give up work and spend my time watching Youtube. I still watch too much YouTube on my days off, still.

You'd think it would be easy... an easy choice. Sit back and write? But, when I have all the time in the world, I find every distraction there is. How do I stop that happening?


The things we want to do, hey? What is it that stops us? Fear? Laziness? A combination of the two? Sometimes it is the things not standing in the way, as much as those that are. Of course, they are not the same thing. Physical. Mental. Is it a fear of failure? Or a fear of success? Maybe, sabotage is preferable? Maybe? Maybe, life is just too good. Maybe?

A happy life never did a writer any good? Is that what they say?

I've slid down onto the floor, I have my back against the couch. Bruno breathes heavily in my ear like a pervert on the other end of the phone, then he licks my ear like he might go a pice of steak.

I love a plant that flowers inside

It Rained

It rained and rained. It rained all day. The sudden blast of summer we’d had for the last few days, gave way to changeable spring. We had to run as the rain drops fell, as we left the safety of the car, which we hadn’t done for... I kind of liked it, if I had to say. Windows fogged up, everything was washed clean, washed new. We were cool, the oppressive heat was blown away.

We shopped at Preston Market, we got a parking spot straight away.

We ate dumplings in High Street, fried and steamed. And we ate some spiced fish.

We came home and sat around, as you do on rainy days.

Saturday. The best day of the week, because of Sunday. On Saturday one can relax because the next day isn’t going to spoil it. It is just the start of something that is promised to continue. Relax. Put your feet up. Fuck the world can go to hell, who cares.

The house was hot, the heat had got in, but a breeze was blowing. I love that about Melbourne, no matter how hot it gets, relief is just around the corner. Throw open the windows and doors.

Let’s do it all again tomorrow.

Hot Friday

Pinch, punch, first of the month.

Who works on Friday? I just like saying that, it is sort of a self congratulatory pat on the back, more than it is me wanting to annoy all those people who have to work 5 days. But it is so dull, soul destroying for most people, without them ever knowing it, for the most part. Just conform and hand your life over to your boss, so your boss can make money and have an interesting life. Yeah, no thanks.

It's lucky me, I guess.

Lucky, in as much as I never really had a plan, I just fell into stuff, and that has always worked out well for me.

I mean, I did go to uni so I guess I had some sort of a plan. I never wanted to work on the 32nd floor of an office building, but guess where I am, getting caught up in the petty tyrannies of those people building themselves empires within the corporate structure, I can only assume, to make themselves better about their small, dull lives. It is nonsense for which I have no time.

Work is not the most important thing, it is just a means to an end.

It is just nice to have a day to do as one pleases. A hot sunny day too. Lovely. I have a chair to fix, I have a back yard full of flies to attend to, and I have some tap washers to change. As exciting as that sounds, it still beats going to work.

Bruno and I headed off to Bunnings, as it is hot today, 35 degrees, and that is too hot for a bulldog to go to the park. Buddy didn’t even want to leave the house. He looked out the door, I swear he shook his head and went back inside.

So, Bruno and I climbed into the car and headed off to Bunnings. Really, air conditioning on and the car is the best place to be on a hot day, no really it is, even if the road stretched out in front seems to shimmy like a mirage in the midday sun.

Bunnings is full of cute tradies too, so what is there not to like, I ask you?

We bought a fly trap, as yesterday, another hot day, when I went outside I was swarmed by flies. I was going to buy a large G clamp to fix a chair I have acquired (translation, picked up from someone’s rubbish in the street) but at $32 I wondered if it was really worth it, stupid me, I should have just bought it. I like doing stuff like that and the pleasure of getting it done is worth the $32, even if the chair isn’t.

So, then I had just a $3 fly trap and I looked in my wallet and I had $2.60. Could I put $3 on a card? It is kind of old fashioned thinking that I can’t put $3 on a card, I mean, if they want us to be a cashless society we’re going to be putting a lot less than $3 on our cards.

So, Bruno and I wandered around Bunnings wondering what else we could buy so that the amount on the card would seem worth it, as stupid as that sounds? (Maybe, I have too much free time on my hands?) And then we headed out to the garden section and, of course, I need potting mix, so I bought a bag. I was going to get a trolley and buy a few bags, but Buddy freaks out with wheelie things, Bunning’s trolleys in particular and I wondered if Bruno would be the same, so I just got one bag so I didn’t have to risk the trolley saga. And when I looked around there was a suspicious sprinkling of what could have been piss, but Bruno had been right by my side all along, so I asked him if he did it and he shrugged and wouldn’t say either way, so me the fly trap the potting mix and the bulldog got the hell out of there. To be fair to the little guy, it is outside the back of the store and (cover your ears Bruno) he is just a dog, when all is said and done. Also to be equally fair to the little guy, it may have been water from one of the pots plants.

Bruno hesitated at the entrance to the lift. Sniff, sniff at the crack in the lift floor. The tradies banked up with a laugh.

“They don’t do what they don’t want to do?” suggested the cute blond tradie in shorts and work boots.

“If they really don’t want to do something, they sit down and you can’t shift them,” I replied.

The cute tradie smiled with, what I can only say was, admiration.
I put the fly trap out the back, and not one fly has gone near it.

I left the potting mix in the hallway, and Sam complained about it when he came home for lunch. He cooked green curry. Heated it up, whatever, it was nice.

Now, Buddy and Bruno and I are sitting in front of the fan together. Last year, we bought one of those super fans so we are being blasted with volumes of fresh cool air.

The thing I like best about a hot day is watering the garden late at night. When I had a convertible car, I used to like driving that at night on a hot day, but I haven’t had a convertible car for a long time now, they just don’t seem worth it, because on a hot sunny day, the last thing I want is a car without a roof, on a hot sunny day I was a roof over me and really good air conditioning cooling me.