Over at Sky News

 

This is the funniest thing I have seen all year. It made me laugh out loud.

John Winston Howard

Mr Sheen

People seem to think that John Howard was a great prime minister, he has been mythologised into someone with legendary status, however that was not always true of him, he was very nearly a huge failure.

Paul Keating once labelled his attempt at a come back as, “Lazarus with a triple bypass.” Against all the odds, John Howard is heading for a place in Australia's political pantheon not far behind his hero, Robert Menzies.

However, he presided over such a period of boom, really, he lucked into times of plenty, like Australia never seen, that I am sure you could have put up Spot the dog to run the country during that period, and Spot the dog would have been thought of as just as great.

This is Wrong on So Many Levels

This is what was sent to me by, I can only assume, a well meaning friend this morning.

Does this really pass as funny... or am I getting as precious as those people I call precious?

THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT (This one is too funny to not forward.)

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super....'

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn’t moved a muscle.

‘Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.'

She calmly turned her head and said,

'In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.'

To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,

'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch’

Raising the Sales

"Yeah, Pete. I'll criticise you for being spineless and limp and you say I was a megalomaniac who wouldn't let go of power."

"Sure John, no problems. I can do that."

"Could be your next column, Pete."

"Yes John."

"Now, if I could just get some one to throw shoes at me, you know to do with mussos and the middle east, you know like George W."

"Good idea, tie in Iraq and Afghanistan..."

"It should boost my book sales no end.

It never gets old

Hi, my name is Ben. I've seen you around. Nice lunch.

What Is...

What's the best thing about being a speed addict?

Two sleeps to Xmas.

 

Camp As...

He's so far in the closet he can see Xmas presents.

Three Little Ducks

'Say, what's your name?' the bartender asked the first duck.

'Huey,' was the reply.

'How's your day been, Huey?'

'Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?' said Huey.

'Oh. That's nice,' said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, 'Hi, and what's your name?'

'Dewey,' came the answer from duck number two.

'So how's your day been, Dewey! ?' he asked.

'Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?'



The bartender turned to the third duck and said, 'So, you must be Louie?'

'No,' he said, batting his eyelashes. 'My name is Puddles.'

The Gay Message

The Navy Ambush

I love this picture, it makes me laugh

I love this too

A Visual Representation of John Howard’s Political Career Right About Now

Today's the Day

So today is the day that Howard loses the election and his seat. I can hardly wait. Keep your fingers crossed!

An oldy but a goldie
Howard didn't care what it cost the tax payer for him to live @ Kirribilli
How much of a spineless mediocrity has Peter Costello proved himself to be? Howard knifed him better than any other person, or group, but Pete has stuck by the little worms side steadfastly.
I think Mal might be poised to take over the whole Liberal box and dice.
Has there ever been a dumber, fatter, more revolting Queensland Senator? I know, a big call.

Brad's Big Adventure

Flaxen blond, Brad, went into a world wide message centre to send a message to his Mother. At eighteen, it was his first time overseas, it was his first time away from his family.

When the man told him it would cost $300.00, Brad sounded dejected. "But I don't have enough money."

"Oh," said the man, in sympathy.

"But I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother," said Brad.

The man arched an eyebrow. "Anything?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, anything," Brad promised.

"Well then, just follow me," said the man, as he walked towards the next room.

Brad did as he was told and followed the man.

"Come in and close the door," the man said.

He then said, "Now get on your knees." Brad got on his knees, dutifully. "Now take down my zipper."

Brad undid the old man's fly.

"Now go ahead... Take it out..." the man said.

Brad reached in and grabbed it with both hands... then paused.

The man closed his eyes and whispered, "Well... go on." A small amount of saliva escaped from the left hand side of the man's mouth. His knuckles sprouted hair.

Brad slowly brought his mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to his lips, tentatively said, "Hello, mum, can you hear me?" 

Like every gay boy I've ever known