I Fear It May Have Been A Half Xanax That Made My Legs So Slightly Wobbly

Morning Miss

Gosh you looked well when you made that brief appearance at home last night. Don't think I missed you walking sideways into the wall as you went into the kitchen. Where you sweating too?

All I wanted to do was come home and shut the world out. Grrr!

christian

Miss

I fear it may have been a half xanax that made my legs so slightly wobbly, and yes, who moved that wall?! I don't *think* I was sweating, but who knows, I may have had a slick sheen of *health* over my face...

I just wanted to get Kha Hien back to her hotel and get home really, twas the only reason for my hurry, and wasn't up to introducing to 6 people...

And now, I have just woken up and trust me I feel FABULOUS!!!!

EEEK!

Maybe I lied there.

Oh well, perhaps tomorrow I shall feel good.

Ooooh just read the BB website – that nasty Rachael; saved Christie??

xT

do you have the willson's mobile number- i lost it when i lost my phone. ta much

Leah

What do you want it for?

christian

PS You know, one of my pet hates is people typing their message in the subject section. Don't be so lazy!

Oy… don’t be a painful grumpy old man, pls can I have the number ????

Leah

Try this 04xx 5xx 6xx.

I have left my phone home on charge today and now you are relying on my address book. Good luck!

christian

Ta love x

Leah

Have you moved into your new house yet?

christian

Yes and its nearly lovely…

Leah

SMS. 10.00. R u alright Mister? U seemed a little L  last night. X – Aby

Got home at 7pm. Busy week. Watched Big Brother, with just Missy for company. Home on my own. It’s 7.39. I’m going to bed.

SMS. 20.00. (Aby) Just tired – christian

Bugger! Gotta iron a shirt and put the rubbish out.

Iron a shirt! Iron a shirt! Iron a shirt! Iron a shirt! Iron a shirt! Iron a shirt! Iron a shirt! Iron a shirt! Iron a shirt! Iron a shirt! Iron a shirt! Iron a shirt! Iron a shirt! Iron a shirt! Iron a shirt! Iron a shirt! Iron a shirt!

I was in bed by 9pm. I went I’m off to bed early as I was home on my own. I like to scurry along and disappear to my bed, before any one comes home. Don’t know why. It always just seems like that kind of moment, being home on my own.

Mark called later to say hello and to say that Aby and her friends were at Bolago.

I needn’t have rushed. I had the whole house to myself to rush about in… and rush about in it again.

Nuh.

You are (amazing)

As if.

Give it a bone.

Ace, that's the ticket.

Not a sausage.

(I've got to go now to Poland with 11EU. Christos said we BOTh should have sucked him off. Back in 4 days! And only 4 weeks to go...)

Joshua Mole

My Day is Fine. Zipping Along, Actually. So You Gotta Luv That

Miss

How are you?

How is your day going?

Mine has been easy so far... though I do feel that if I had to deal with anything untoward, it would be a bit like throwing ground glass into my bloodstream. Ouch.

But, as yet, this has not happened!

May that also be trye for you.

xT

My day is fine. Zipping along, actually. So you gotta luv that.

A little woozy from time to time, but mostly not. Pretty much feeling just fine.

Having said that, I just got a great wave of tiredness wash over me, the minute I wrote the above.

christian

yes i have had one or two of those waves too...

have a girlfriend from sydders coming over this arvo, she's recovering from an eventful weekend, should be interesting

Tom

I just wanted to come home and go to bed. Do not communicate. Do not say why. But Mark and Luke were here.

And Aby’s Tasmanian friends. Er! Oh, the awful people. They just turn up, uninvited. Please, please, please don’t stay for a week. What is that? Do I have door mat written all over me? I just expect people to act like normal people, and when they don't... I don't know what to do... become passive aggressive. But which comes first? Where does the responsibility lie?

We ordered Indian.

I couldn’t crank it up, just didn’t have the energy. I wanted silence and dark. I got talking and questions and voices and people. Just wasn’t in the mood. Bugger. Oh well. Mark and Luke are good. It was nice to see them, none the less.

I Came To Just In Time for Big Brother

SMS. 18.03. Miss. Joint? – Tom

I woke up at 7pm, just in time for Big Brother. Drugs at Perry and Wesley’s. Tom’s thirtieth. The whole family was there.

Liam was back from cancer treatment in Sydney. He looked pretty good, all things considered. Leukaemia. Another one who injects.

I found the drugs made me a bit isolated, a bit brainless. I was right there listening to what everyone else was saying, but for making contributions of my own they were a bit thin on the ground.

So, of course, I ogled Wesley all night. Of course, I really should stop doing that. But it means no harm. Flirting never killed anyone.

And Wesley’s up for it. It turns him on. What a hot body, what a taste package, how sexy is he? He keeps coming back for more, too. You should see the look on his face, flushed and wonton. We crossed the barrier of the gaze from the crotch to the face being interrupted by mandatory broken eye movement. Straight from one to the other, it made him smile. We were talking about his cock alright. When it got too much he’d wander away, but he’d always be back, full crotch pointing at me.

When we were out for a walk, he was saying, I just don’t know as an answer to some question. Our eyes connected at the same moment and he repeated his answer, but with a changed expression, and a different meaning that nobody else would have picked up on. If he didn’t know, it means he must be entertaining the thought.

I would never tell anyone.

I gave him a hard-on several times, I could tell. It is so fetching when his hand automatically moves in front of his crotch, after he has noticed me gazing at him. Several times there was a hard bump to be seen in his pants.

SMS. 22.56. Hope u survived last night luv! If Andre dies 2nite it’s probably from asphyxiation (sp?) due 2 gorg lentil soup a work! – Rachel 

SMS. 22.58. Just survived. Why is it so cold? – christian

SMS. 22.58. June – Rachel 

SMS. 22.58. Winter – Rachel 

SMS. 22.59. Victoria – Rachel 

SMS. 23.00. Why don’t we book a trip 2 California? – Rachel

SMS. 23.01. Don’t call me June – christian

SMS. 23.03. Have 2 chat 2 Andre. I will call u 2morrow xxxx…bloody husbands – Rachel 

SMS. 23.11. I like having a husband. Just need to meet the next one – christian

 

The Awful People

I’ve realised in life that there are some things that you can’t whinge about to anyone. For instance, the awful people are here again. That’s what I woke up to today, after drugs at Perry and Wesley’s last night. The awful people.

Ab’s no hoper friends.

Betsy-Anne and Bobby-Joe. They just seem to wander around Australia sponging off people. Whoever they are? I have no idea. I just know that they come and if it’s for more than an evening, it’s too long. And they stay and they seem to stay. Until I hide in my room, or risk being corner by Betty-Joe or Billy-Joe as they enthuse in too much of a similarity to Magda Szbanski’s sweaty character with the neck brace, for my liking.

What are they doing here again?

Ah! Am I to be spared nothing?

But they are Ab’s friends and there are just something’s you have to grit your teeth and act dignified about. With class, always carry yourself with class, isn’t that what they say? Treat others as you would want them to treat you. But I want to know, where class ends and fuck off! starts?

Ab never asks me, they just turn up. More fool me.

I Can't Be Trusted With Wesley

SMS.8.28. Happy anniversary to you too – christian

SMS. 8.51. I am working in Camberwell today, if u happen to be around – Rachel

Miss!

How are you?  What did you get up to last night?

The birds are singing, the carpenters next door are sawing, and most all is well in the world of Dingaling.

I feel ever so remotely human after my ever so predictable Thursday...

Fred and Gina were out when I got home, so my midnight plan was brought forward to 9.23, and honestly Christian, the deed was done by 9.26pm.

What did I do?

God knows really, chatted to the folks till midnight, then went to "bed" – another hit – then got up about 1.30am and chatted on Gaydar until 8am.

Woohoo.  The excitement!!

Ahhh, there's something in there for me and maybe all of us, perhaps lying somewhere between "will they never learn" and "a leopard can't change it's spots".

Oh well, a predictable time was had by all, and at least now I have no more of those sharp things to stick into myself.

And now tis the day of Tom's party, both at Perry's and a pub in Smith St beforehand...

How many of my pills would you like Miss?

And what of your speed Miss?

Has that been digested yet?

Tell all, post haste.

xTom

I decided to have a little bump of speed, just because it was Friday night and nearly winter. Tim came over with Ben and we ate Indian. Tim was coming back today to put some blinds up.

Then as I was doing my second line, in my bedroom, I heard the door click and Ren was home.

I thought about Aby just getting home from her sick and dying grandmother and then I thought of her being confronted with Tim being excited with his blinds in the top room. So I decided to put Tim off for a week, just so Aby could have a week at home to think about him moving in.

Then I was trying to talk myself into going to Throb just for a look and the next thing I knew it was sometime before sun up and the television was blaring at me.

Still got a good half bag though, unlike some.

Now I'm off to my mother's to dispense with the duty, before tonight.

christian

Unlike some, Miss, you are fortunately not as addict!!

Nice of you to give Aby a chance to acclimatise....

You don't really have to say how many pills you want...  I have six, and one was for Anthony Devon, but I'm sure that leaves plenty to go round...

xTom

I left for mum’s some time after 9am, maybe 10 by the time I washed the crap off the car and fed it some oil.

SMS. 10.03. Got your message. Is everything still okay? Was going to buy them today but I can put them in later I’m going to Philip Island next weekend – Tim

SMS. 10.07. (Rachel) I’m on my way to my mum’s now – christian

SMS. 10.10. Nothings wrong. Aby came home last night, just thought I’d give her time to move her stuff first – christian

SMS. 10.11. That’s fine…I will still buy them today then. Have a great weekend. I will – Tim

I ate eggs and listen to more of mum’s befuddlement. Mother and Son, I tell you.

Mum was on duty at the Malvern Town Hall. She’d been making buttons out of silver rings. The one I saw had a green tree with red cherries. It was kind of cool. Quaint.

I had her at the town hall by eleven.

SMS. 11.26. Railway Pde in Camberwell – Rachel

Chatted to Aby when I got home. Heard about the whole loud family at one of its worst moments; the relatives at the dying grandmothers bed. Families are a trip.

I headed to bed for a snooze. Too many joints. Bad Christian. It just wipes me out at the moment. De-motivated. Lazy. Lethargic. Sounds like the real deal.

Miss

There are two parts to tonight.  It starts with drinks in Smith St from 8pm.

How bout I come over round 7-7.30 and we do a line, pop half a pill, and go for drinks?

*sunny smile*

God I have to go to Croydon tomorrow!

xT

SMS. 15.08. I was going to visit, but u took too long to respond. (a bit like this) I was nearly home when u did – christian

SMS. 15.09. No worries luv! I am home now 4 a couple of hours then off to the restaurant – Rachel

SMS. 15.11. Lucky u! I’m out to take drugs – christian

SMS. 15.11. Waaa! – Rachel

SMS. 15.13. Big smile! – christian

SMS. 15.13. I have my puss bum fuck off face on! – Rachel

SMS. 15.16. Another pill? Coy smile. Don’t mind if I do – christian

SMS. 15.17. Would u like to tell me what u want at your funeral luv? Roses? Cremation?  Don’t give a fuck? – Rachel

SMS. 15.20. Fly me to the moon – christian

SMS. 15.21. Hmmm thought as much! Have a nice night and try 2 keep yourself decent? Why? Umm, I have no idea, but I think someone is supposed to tell u that occasionally in life – Rachel.

SMS. 15.27. I have no intention. That’s what drugs are for! – christian

Tom

Okay.

You've got to get a life miss. That family of yours?

christian

SMS. 15.28. I am sure that’s true! I myself am off to have a bath and a glass of wine – Rachel

Josh

And the axe made its return journey today. Do you have some sort of magical powers? I’m impressed. Of course, it was returned by my neighbour who has been tardy in her return skills. The very end of last winter and first fires this year. It’s cold, we’ve already had fires.

And not bought back by wog-cock. I’m sure I could smell him when he was stealth like on my veranda. Are you really sure he doesn’t want me to suck his cock?

christian

Can I be trusted with Wesley? I was wondering if I was getting any more invites after the sms fiasco. But then it came. I can’t be trusted with Wesley. I want him to show me his cock. You know, like want to show it.

Just so that he knows it. That’s as far as it should go.

I can be trusted with Wes. When it really comes down to it, I’d never cross that line. It would spoil it anyway. We’d never play again. Flirt again. Hardly seems worth it, hey?

Did I tell you about the time that Wesley and I were the last two in the spa? The sun was coming up; it had been a fun night. Wesley floated over and lay on top of me and we hugged. Chests together. Cocks together. We hugged and rubbed cocks and balls. We both cracked fats and rubbed them together, holding each other. Until Wesley floated off and lay against the edge of the spa looking back at me.

Perry came out and got in and hugged Wesley. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment.

That may, or may not, have happened. What can I tell you? That would be telling.

Or there is unprotected sex. Wes sitting down on my raw cock. Yum! Thata boy.

SMS. 19.27. Time to get up miss! – Tom

Tom and I were the first there; Smith Street Bar & Bistro, upstairs, where I used to do school readings. It was all decked out with balloons. It was like the party that everybody forgot to go to, for the first little while. But, of course, they all arrived nice and late.

We went back to Perry and Wes’ afterwards.

you REALLY don’t want to know

Hi

Got that stuff for you ... will be over at about 7.30 tonight then we're going for a bite.... Quick question – I'm thinking about getting Roman Blinds for upstairs rather than the wooden ones... They are about the same price but I reckon they would look better... Are you cool with that? I will bring a tape measure tonight and we can chat about it then... I can’t wait to move in!!

C U TONIGHT!!

Tim

I'm cool with that. See you tonight, we can discuss it further then.

christian

Miss

I'm coughing and crappy.

I think I need to bail on tonight.

Will call ya later, but feel free to reply to this.

xT

How much of that speed did you do last night?

christian

you REALLY don’t want to know Miss.

Let's just say that I am predictable, as always, and still cant be trusted.

Human pin cushion.

That's why i feel like I need a night in – didn’t sleep last night.

Tragic addict that I am.

Now, if you wanted it you could get a pill for yrself from my stash..

Tom

Where’s your stash?

christian

SMS. 18.39. (Aby) How’s it going? I’m going out to take drugs. I’ll take some for you? – christian

SMS. 18.41. 16 years! Happy anniversary 2 u & Pete xxx. I bought Nutella. Think I gained weight just thinking about it! – Rachel

SMS. 18.42. Please. I’ll c u when u get home x – Aby

Tim arrived with the very handsome Beau. We ate Indian and talked about Tim moving in. I gave him a key. Tim is going to buy pale coloured Roman Blinds. Tim was onto his second bottle of wine by the time he got here.

Perry has it.

You would have to get it off him

Tom

of course i might get a second wind!!

Tom

Would Perry mind?

I could save it and go to Perry's tomorrow night. Go see my mum tomorrow. Do you think you'll be going to Perry's?

christian

yes deffo will be going to Perrys!  that’s why I’m backing off from tonight

i could swap ya a pill for some nasal speed?

i have two u could have anyways

Tom

Well, I might just do that.

christian

yes do, miss, it will be fun!

sorry!!

Tom

Don't be sorry. It's totally cool.

christian

SMS. 20.31. Thanks… had a great time… looking forward to coming back – Tim

I went to bed to watch Big Brother up late. I love that show. I wanna see the boy's cocks, I don't deny it. 

I thought about Aby’s sms…I’ll c u when u get home. So Aby would be home tonight. Before Big Brother Up Late was over, I heard Aby come home. I thought about Tim with the blinds and Aby having been away dealing with her grandmother. Tim putting up blinds tomorrow would be too soon. I have to let Aby get back and start getting used to the idea. She really needs to move her stuff before Tim starts putting up blinds.

SMS. 2.58. Can you hold off on the blinds until next w/end – christian

SMS. 4.06. Ok – Tim

An Excess of Speed, as it Turned Out

Josh, you idiot!

I know… more of your junk! That’s why I’m saying I needed an axe.

christian

Did you need anything for tomorrow night?

Tim

Tomorrow night? Oh? Yes, I do, now that you mention it. Thanks. (You're fantastic)

christian

Ok – Will organise it tonight for you... Going to dinner at tandori times tomorrow night with Ben So I will drop it of and maybe have a drink?

Tim

Cool. Sounds grand.

christian

Miss

I have new contact lenses and a new beanie from Quiksilver to make me happy.

How are you?

80 was really dull last night but I ran into a couple of old friends who made it at least worth while being there.

Cei le vie

Tom

You should have worn your new beanie, that may have got them going - or got them in the door.  Maybe if you'd sat in a window with back-lighting; the hint of a promise, on the dull old Wednesday night.

Me? Still licking at the salt.

christian

there was no one i wanted to get going!

now I’m off to marimba's – who knows what titbit I shall discover today!

Tom

Oops! Tim's mobile phone number is 04xx 9xx 4xx.

Better late than never.

Hope you are having a lovely day.

Big smile

christian

Tom was home when I got home.

Perry called from D’s salon to say that he’d heard from D that I was looking for drugs and he had an excess of speed, as it turned out. Perry came over after his hair-cut, so Tom and I bought a bag of speed each. Tom told me later that he has 6 ecstasy on order through Perry, for Saturday night.

Perry is talking about buying a Lexus LS400. Were meant to be a very nice car, everything gotten right, straight out of the box.

Perry invited me to his place Saturday night, but I said I couldn’t. I was barely going to make it to mum’s, as it was, after Throb on Friday night.

Wanna Go To Throb?

Miss.

How are you?

I am swallowing Valtrex like it's going off the market, due to some lovely cold sores I have.  Maybe I shall beat them at the pass.

Throb is on this weekend, as is Tom's 30th (Amy Thompson's boyfriend).  Should be busy!!

Do you have any plans?

xTom

Be funny if you died of liver failure. Well, not funny exactly...

I'm thinking I'm going to Trob, that's what I'm thinking. Just two more days of dealing with these idiots!

christian

Wow!

Going to Throb!!!

How excitement!!!

Yes, the liver failure thing... I don't think there's a chance of it happening, but no one will be able to say I didn't try to make the most of my last weekends of freedom...

I'm writing final notes to everyone, to be sealed with a lock of mohawk, of course, just in case it goes pear shaped:

D: I told you I really was sick!

Jane:  Don't be so harsh in future!

Mark Waterdale:  I've got a little bag with yr name on it

Mark Windsor:  Dump the ugly bi-a-tch...

   or   Next time it's you and me babe

Kim:  Watching over you as you read this

Aby:  Don't waste a second!

What you think?  Or too morbid for you Miss (tis meant to be funny after all)

xTom

No, I like them. You should also seal the envelope with your own blood. Pity you can get an anti-coagulating agent, so no matter how long after, your blood would still be wet and sticky to the touch.

christian

Hmmm!

Nice touch!

Tom

Miss.

My payout has been approved.

Cheque for $83,850 coming my way.

That's a nice thing to happen!!

xT

Well Miss, how exciting. It's a great Wednesday, I do believe!

christian

You'd think the people who work for the same company as I, would be working with me. Barp! Wrong! It seems to be a sport today at the black law firm, let's make it as hard as fucking possible for everyone else. AHHH!!!!

christian

You poor man.

I hope it gets better.

Tom

I know, woe is me. The thing I hate most about this place is that it turns me into a complainer. Sometimes I hear myself winging, as good as the rest of them.

Good thing I can laugh. Good thing I have a nice life to go home to, as, I can only assume, the rest of them don't.

Bunch of cunts!

christian

new job new job new job

and

party party party

hope they got a liver lined up for me :)))

and some lungs too please!

maybe i should have my "donor" killed?

Tom

Perhaps, he could be kidnapped and kept in a room, with requisite machinery and you could just take what you need. I mean, many people have had worst lives than that.

If he turned out to be a 'looker', he could be put to good use, while he waited for his lungs to be removed through his nose.

christian

SMS. 15.06. (D) Can u get me things for the weekend? – christian 

I dealt with that poisonous bitch from Brisbane today, Cheryl H. Aren’t they all called Cheryl, the troublemakers? Go home to your unhappy life you miserable slapper and leave the rest of us in peace. Nobody likes her. The Brisbane HR girls cave into her because she’s so toxic!

I went over to mum’s for dinner. We watched the Big Brother special, Housemates Incoming. I lost it with her a bit, over the workings out of the Medicare cheques. Mum hasn’t seen anyone since Saturday, at The Windsor. I felt mean, as soon as I did it. And, of course, it didn’t help.

It’s a cold night, not foggy but should be.

Miss

So you think you wanna go huh?

I wasn't quite planning on it, but of course I will!

I think you need to ring D (or some such person) and ask him to get "stuff" for you!!!

Woohoo!

T

Miss

I'm way ahead of you – I was just about to write you an email asking you if you wanted to go. 

I've already called D, just waiting for his response.

christian

woohoo

Have u still got twif?

i feel like some, might come over tonight, go by Guido’s...

Tom

Coming over with twif

eta 10.30

xxxx. Tom

Josh

You always get it wrong! I need a fucking axe!

christian

I mean yes you've gotten my attention. Um? What's up?

BTW Christos emailed me today saying he is gunna leave my fork and shovel at your place, front steps with a note, er tonight or tomorrow night.

But no axe.

So there.

Axel Josh

The mention of drugs and Tom is as excited as he can be at any time. I mentioned that I wanted to go to Throb and Tom is up and raring to go. The mention of drugs practically got him skipping right out of the house and over here.

SMS. 22.42. On my way – Tom