Water

Suddenly there was a handsome policeman standing at his open roller door watching him water his ferns during times of water restrictions.

“Sir, you do realise there are water restrictions in force?”

“Yes, officer. I do understand there are water restrictions.” 

“It would be highly illegal to water your whole garden,” the young policeman smiled. “I certainly hope that isn’t what you were planning?”

“No, officer. I wasn't planning on watering the whole garden. Just my tree-ferns, officer.” He couldn’t help but notice just how fine this young policeman was. “It's been… hot.” Really handsome. “They cark it at the drop of a hat.”

“There are legislated times for watering during the day,” the young copper said. 

“Yes, sir. I do understand there are times for such things.” 

“Can you imagine where we’d be if people didn’t follow the laws.”

“Yes, yes, I do understand that if everybody did it,” Lemmings, the lot of them, “we'd be in awful strife.” 

“You won’t break the restrictions in future, I hope?”

“No, officer. I don't plan on doing it again.”

“And you will stick to the times you are allowed to water.” 

“Yes, yes, I'll stick to the legislated schedule. 

“Can I trust your word?”

“I promise. (Makes crossing motions across my heart)”

He watches the beefy arse of the handsome copper walk away.

Lucky, I have high fences and lots of creeper. Huh? He thinks, as he pushes the button on his roller door to close it.