Smoky Saturday

I haven't seen the G man, I was thinking. He gets a girl friend and I never see him again. Just like a straight boy. I miss those nights where he was drunk, after a night out with his wife and he'd hug me drunkenly and tell me he loved me and secretly rub his hard-on on my arse, as he hugged me tight. Often, his wife would be standing next to him. What happened to that Nick? (G's real name)

Truthfully, I like his friendship for many more reasons than the rare drunken moment I have described above – just thought I'd titillate myself with the thought.

I don't know why I thought about him today.

Missy went missing, a number of times, when I was supposed to be giving her medicine. She finished the course, but not strictly in the way it was intended. But finished, none the less. Now she has one suspect tiny, puffy bit, around the abscess. So I'm hoping like hell I don't have to pay another $450 to have her completely healed. I tried to squeeze it, like the vet showed me, but nothing came out and I wondered if I was mutilating her for nothing. But she never acted like any of it was sore, so that has to be a good sign

The cleaning lady is an absolute amazing gem. She cleans like no other cleaning lady I've ever had. She is a one in a million, never to be had more than once in one life time. I've learnt by experience. David and I gave her some extra money this week, in appreciation.

(Oh, you know that is David's need to be liked and his laissez-faire attitude with money, and not really the idea of the tight arse that is yours truly)

I drive over to mum’s, liking driving the GTI 6 very much. I wonder how much better it would go with a new clutch?

There’s fucken cars everywhere on the road.

Lottie is funny and seems quite rational, even if she doesn’t remember the name of spinach. She tells me that she is getting worse, that she is losing her memory. I tell her she should go to a specialist.

My buggery speeding fine arrived in the mail. $215 dollars, although I mistakenly told Lottie that it was $250 and she handed it over. So I actually made on the deal. Three buggery demerit points though.

I spent Lottie's fine money on pot. She'd be proud.

I'm smoking pot and cigarettes. I have to stop smoking. I'm getting really chesty again. Doesn't that sound like something a mother would say? But, unfortunately, true. 

My computer connection connects with my computer, finally. And I down load my sms messages into my journal, contentedly. I wonder if I’m boring. Or delusional. 

I should be writing something real.

Josh came home and said how miserable he has been about going back to Germany and how he’s been depressed and maudlin and he was snapping out of it because he suddenly realised he only had seven days left and then it was back to boring old Berlin and he was snapping out of it. We connected straight away. It was just Josh at his most open and the Josh I adore. He said straight away, Let’s get pot and I went halves, without question. I’m piss weak. David came home from work and just chilled and we all smoked pot and had a great laugh.

David questioned Josh about Germany and he said it was going to horrible. He’s going to live in squalor, for some sense of duty towards the mother land, except he’s 7 generation Australian.

It’s his sudo-christian, rural upbringing, it’s hard to exorcise. Duty smutty, I think. But Josh is seeing the world. It, on some minor level, makes me feel like a lazy bastard. I guess Josh still hasn’t found himself completely.

So back to Germany with her.

Josh goes on Tuesday. I will be sad to see him go. Josh and I have even got health conscious 

David has gone out to dirty sex and take drugs, unfaithful already.

I turned down sex with Manny. I can't drive. And fuck him, he said he was coming over here, today.

The lovely Tony just gave me a star rating on Gaydar. I gave him one back. I’m shaking. My hearts racing. He’s got a photo of his cock, on line. 

I just upgraded him to a flame. His cock looks hot! I’ve always wanted to see it. Fuck, I’d love to suck it.

Next! Shane is on the horizon, a new divorcé. He always moves in here when his relationships fall apart. He is a big pot smoker.