Audit Guy # 4

The auditors are in, it's that time of year. We have two, usually, who turn up every year. Every few years one moves on and the other moves up, to lead the new fole, all dough-eyed and eager. There's been the good looking athletic, blokey type with the nerdy protege. Then the nerdy one lead the new sweet Indian one, whose chatty, with a dry whit. The latest protegae is Peter. But I chatted to the sweet Indian boy for the first day, he's very cool. He's the sort of guy you feel as though you have always known.

I've got a new guy, Harnesh said. You'll meet him later.

He talked football with Rachel. They are both from Geelong, so, naturally, they are crazy Geelong supporters.

Then today. Cough, cough. Hi I'm Peter. Dark hair, fair skin, a couple of pimples. Blue eyes, like shattered glass. He looked like Tom Cruise, twenty years ago. Big, white shinny teeth. High cheek bones. Dark eyes. Big chest. Nice waiste.

The view is fantastic, he said. Just breath taking.

Yes, it is, I said. The bay is beautiful, it has such different moods.

I bet you get that a lot?

When we first moved to these offices we got told that a lot.

I bet you did, he said. Big smile. Bright eyes, blue. Black hair, my very favourite, I thought.

We wanted to put a sign up saying, Yes, we've seen the view, can we move on, I said.

He laughed. He had gorgeous eyes when he laughed, sparkly. He nearly batted them at me.

We're used to it now, said Rachel.

It's nice to sit back occasionally and just take it in, I said. It's good for the soul.

It's natural light, said Peter. You should be in an internal office. He rubbed his eyes like a three year

old. You end up like... he said. Big smile. We all laughed. He caught my gaze.

He spoke so well. Private school. Have to be. I’m your new auditor, Peter.

God, your gorgeous, I thought.

He was glad to meet us. Shook our hands. Nice and big. He made eye contact. Nice and warm.

He talked a lot, described the process. He spoke precisely. Clearly, kind of practised, but still with a little innocent charm. His eyes twinkled.

He needed recs from Rachel. She did them. He focused on her, intently.

He was solid. Built like a football player. Nice shape. Nice bulge. Big dick. Big package.

He was looking at me, as I looked up. Pretty face. He couldn’t help but smile. He blushed and looked away. He couldn’t hide that I’d noticed. He looked back. He couldn’t help but smile. He widen his eyes and came out of character, just for a second, by nodding his head like he was interested. Just momentarily. Gone immediately. That nod said, I have got a big cock.

He looked back at Rachel. She was asking him what samples he wanted. What was the criteria?

He looked sideways several times. Flirting, was he?

Did he want to pick them, or could we just pick them at random. We could pick them at random. He could pick with Rachel, that was fine. It didn’t matter who picked. He was polite and charming. He said twenty five, at some stage. He smiled a lot. Three months worth. Same forensic drill. Small samples, just for an initial report.

Black pants. Nice arse, solid. Stood squarely. He seemed kind of distracted after that and kept looking in my direction, smiling, picking up on any thing I said.

If the initial report was 100% there may not be any need for further testing. He wasn't sure. Harnesh would decide.

I smiled back. I sat back and watched him.

So are we 100%, I asked.

So far. Sweet smile.

Whatever you want to check, I'm not afraid, I said. There's no other way to be than organised.

So every thing was okay? asked Rachel.

Every thing was great, he said. We found every thing.

Aren’t people like this every where?

No, he said. Crooked smile.

Rachel got him his files and I gave him a lift with the excess ones, back to his desk. He looked back when I returned to my office. I smiled back at him. He blushed again.

He came in a bit later said that there was one thing he was having trouble with. We both helped him with a complicated formula. He was charming. He caught me checking him out a couple of times. He has dimples when he smiles.

He came over later and thanked us. I’m back he said. Smiling with the usual twinke.

Did we pass? I asked.

Why, yes. Of course, said Peter, politely. You passed with flying colours.

Thanks for every thing, said Rachel.

I'll do some more testing in the morning, he said. Half a day.

He was hot. He stood in our office doorway, smiling. Thick thighs. Bigger bulge in profile, like a football guard pushing out from inside. Tasty package.

The tax accountant came into our office. Rachel, sorry. Can I have those figures.

He was looking right at me, as I looked up.

Very nice to meet you, he said, blushing. Eyes ablaze, coming out of character, as Rachel was distracted. He shook my hand firmly, like he didn't want to let go. See you tomorrow, he said, just a little breathily. He let go of my hand. Coughed. Tomorrow. He smiled. He held my gaze as he walked away. Eyes blazing.

Mark and Luke bought the washing machine over. I did two loads. It leaked water on the floor. Great! But at least it works. We watched Big Brother with David and his Mark. When Josh said that he’d met a Manny, at Comfest, I said you’ve got to be joking. He wasn’t joking but he didn’t want to see Comfest Manny again. Just as fucken well, I thought. I'm not sure if I believe what Josh says.

Gay boy Nick went into Big Brother. I tell ya, I think Zoran is a fag. His ears pricked up the moment Nick walked in. He’s the one who makes all the gay comments. He always say he wants to hug the other guys. Sure, In jest, but it still seems to always be him.

Zoran's hot. Pretty. I’d like to see him snog another guy.

We ate Indian and David and his Mark went to his Mark’s house, after Big Brother. They had a fight and, maybe, have broken it off.

Mark and Luke left early, well, early for them, they are not 9 to 5’ers. Luke rolled quite a few joints.

I was pie-eyed watching the Catherine Tate Show.