IQ

I have an IQ of 140, (whatever that means, is what I have always thought) which used to cause great joy and great consternation at the private grammar school that I attended, as I, more often than not, chose to smoke cigarettes down the back of the oval and side with the troublesome boys in class, giving as much class disturbing cheek as any of them. Tom said that he used to watch me use my intellect as a weapon, when the need arose. Funny Tom. I went on to fail year 12 at that particular school, which always seemed to cement the prediction they held for me.

"Christian is a smart boy, it is just one of the great tragedies that he chooses, so often, not to use it constructively" - I think that was an actual report, in it's entirety, I got from one of my year 12 teachers.

I don't usually mention this to anyone, as so many people love to challenge me on it, so I learnt early it was not something that would bring me joy, if I mentioned it. You mean 104. You can't have. You'd be in some special program it that was true. (that one always sounded the most appealing, don't you think?) You are wrong! No you don't! You couldn't have. That would put you in the top whatever percentage of the population. Blah... dy blah, blah.

The only time it, actually, bought me joy was a number of years after I left school, when I had one of those hate/love friendships with an opinionated, arrogant, know all, who was married to a friend of mine, at the time. Let's call him Boring. Truthfully, he's a very smart individual. He was in Mya Briggs or some such area and he challenged me by saying prove it. He could test me. So, nervously, I sat down and did all of his tests. He just looked at me, in the end, dropping the scoring notes, whatever he had in his hand, onto the table.

"Well?" I said.

He just stared at me like he didn't want to say. And then he said, "One hundred and forty."

The only reason that I think of this today, is that I've been doing Beck's job for five weeks, a job I've never done before, a job I got 5 minutes handover on, as we both had to concentrate on Tracey, who, I have since found out, knows nothing of my job. Beck was too pissed off and too tired and too cranky to tell me anything, other than what Tracey doesn't know. So, I've been doing Beck's, often being asked for things I did even know what they were when asked, and I've been training Tracey in my job. Clearly Beck has just been doing it while I've been away. It's been easy. I haven't broken a sweat. I don't feel like I have worked any harder than usual. Where usually, even Beck works back late, complains she has no time, says she is snowed under. I don't get it. What does she do normally?
Both our jobs, Beck and I have done, but in our present company, that job is split in two. So, strictly speaking, I have done Beck's job before, but not for seven years, the time I've been working with Beck. The company gets the advantage of having two experienced managers, while I chose to work in the lesser position, wanting to do other things - write and not deal with the excs with their endless wants, which Beck does. But the thing is, that I've always suspected that I could do both roles and now that I've done them, I know I can. Beck gets paid 40K more than me, even if I do get paid pretty well, but 40K is 40K.

But, I'm not going back anyway, now am I? No I'm not!

Is it just that I am smarter? That's what Tom used to say whenever I looked blankly at him, not understanding people.

I guess my point here is I should stop settling for less when the truth is I can easily demand more. Maybe, that's a theme to write a story on?

My mother always said to me, "The only problem you have Christian is that you are naturally inclined to take a step back when in doubt. All you've got to learn is to try and take the step forward. Step towards your problems, meet the challenge, don't step away because that so often leads me to procrastination..." my worst of all trait... which, apparently, lead to boredom and little Christian coming home with bad reports cards as a child... and has often led to perceptions of indifference in work situations. Bluntness viewed as rudeness...

... oh, I think I am just talking shit now. The truth is that I don't want to work anyway.