Grumpy Fucken Bitch!

I got up and lit the fire. The house was quiet. The day was still. I love that.

It was cold outside, but the sun was shining, which had the effect of making it feel quite fresh, as I headed out to get the firewood.

I built a fire and switched on my laptop.

Sam slept in.

I just love sitting around and pissing the day away on a Saturday morning. Did you know that? Had you worked that out? An open fire, my computer and a cup of coffee, and I’m set. Sam, however, likes to do things, achieve things, get things done. So, we washed the car in preparation for polishing it.

Sam was ordering me about and giving me the shits as soon as he came downstairs. Not working full time and stupidly telling him how I could have got things done during the days I hadn’t worked, but had chosen instead to be slack and piss the time away, just seemed to convince him that I needed organising.

It is probably true. Him saying that I could do these things on my time so we could do other things when we wee together was probably true too.

Washing the car didn’t seem to satisfy his need to do something, it just seemed to get him going. 

I went to sit my arse back down.

“Did you fix the sink, yet?”

The seal sealing the sink to the bench seems to have failed and water is leaking into the cupboard. I had all of the equipment to attempt attempted to reseal it. The edge of the sink was still wet and the silicone didn’t seem to stick very effectively. It just wasn’t as easy as it should have been. I was bending backwards into the cupboard lying on the floor attempting to look up to where the sink was no longer sealed to the bench. I sat up and banged my head. Sam kept yabbering on until I told him to, 

Shut the fuck up! AH! 

Of course, it was his fault that I hit my head and the silicone wouldn’t stick.

It was one of those gorgeous sunny winter's days. Sunny, blue sky and lovely fresh clean crisp air.

I tousled his hair in a conciliatory gesture and said we should head out for food.

Feed the beast and he will be pacified. We all know that. It’s either blow him or feed him.

We launched ourselves out into the day at midday, with some kind of idea of hunger. We walked to Victoria Street and ate Thai Soup, which was quite lovely really. We ordered exactly the same meal, which Sam said was romantic. When I said maybe it was just unimaginative, the waitress sneaked a quite smirk.

Afterwards, we shopped and bought fruit. 

I wanted to buy a sweet rice dish, but Sam stopped me, because he was being mean. Oh, maybe not so mean, he kept saying something about the rice dishes that I wanted to buy being made in factories with lots of preservatives and that I wouldn’t like them.

All I could see was him stopping me from having a sweet treat.

We walked to Punt Road and he stopped at Ying Thai to buy me, what he said was a lovely desert, but I turned the corner into Punt Road and the afternoon sun was so lovely that I closed my eyes and kept walking and before I knew it I had walked all the way to Langridge Street, which was quite a surprise. When I turned around it was even more surprising that Sam was nowhere in sight. 

I wondered where he was? I momentarily wondered if he thought that I was such a grumpy bitch that he had walked off up Victoria Parade avoiding me altogether. But, not sooner had I thought that than his sweet face came walking around the far corner way off in the distance.

I crossed over at the lights, we both needed to be on the other side, after all, so why waste the opportunity.

Then he proceeded to cross Punt Road like a great big girl. Always the same, unless he is at a set of lights, he’s too tentative to cross in a gap in the traffic.

When he caught up to me, he produced a banana rice dish wrapped in a pandan leaf, telling me that’s what he’d found for me, that’s what he’d been doing.

We had risotto for dinner, which I was going to cook. But, of course, no day would be complete without a trip to the supermarket. We needed butter and milk.

Oh groan! Not the supermarket! Does anyone go to the supermarket more than we do?

I am such a grumpy bitch, when Sam wouldn’t cook the risotto as was required, I harrumphed off to the couch in a pout.

I sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with me. I’d been cranky all day, I’m getting crankier with life in general.

I think I was still grumpy about going to the supermarket. 

Well, if you want me to cook, I will follow a recipe. If you just want to throw things into the saucepan in any old fashion and order, don’t expect me to be a part of it.

We ate risotto that Sam cooked. He still bought it to me on the couch. We watched TV. Graham Norton – Danny Devito, Charlotte Church. She was one of the first people to sue in England about the phone hacking. I couldn’t recognise her, although I knew her name. I googled her and she still didn’t look like anyone I recognised.

I love Graham Norton.

I love Saturday nights with my baby… despite how it may seem, despite being a grumpy cow.

YOU ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN WHEN:

You call a bathing suit a "swimming costume" or a "cozzie".

You call a traffic light a "robot".

You call an elevator a "lift"

You call a car hood a "bonnet"

You call a car trunk a "boot"

You call a pickup truck a "bakkie"

You call an outdoor grill a "Braai"

Employees sing and dance to show how unhappy they are.

The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the programme you just finished watching.

You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather.

You know what Rooibos Tea is even if you've never had any.

You can sing your national anthem in four languages and have no idea what it means in any of them.

You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela.

You go to braais regularly, where you eat boerewors and swim, sometimes simultaneously.

You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped by a traffic officer.

You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement.

You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car.

You know a taxi can move twice its certified number of people in one trip.

You travel 100's of kilometres to see snow.

You know the rules of Rugby better than any referee! THIS IS DENNIS. LOL...

More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election.

People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill,  

Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence, Given, Patience, Portion, and Coronation.

"Now now" or "just now" can mean anything from a minute to a month. THIS IS ME... LOL

You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction.

Travelling at 120 km/h, you're the slowest vehicle on the highway/freeway.

A bullet train is introduced but potholes can't be fixed.

The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday.

Prisoners, Doctors and Nurses go on strike.

You don't stop at red traffic lights just in case somebody hijacks your car.

Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high.

You accept a high crime rate as normal.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from SA.

VIVA !!!!!

HeHe , love Anthony

a "robot", "bakkie", "Braai"? You are very strange, you lot.

Christian

I can always tell when Anthony has had a few wines. Can you? The clue being that he is well written when he is sober.

I kind of forget now a days that Anthony is South African. I forget how we were such young pups together way back when and that when he was around his mum his accent would change so completely is was completely amazing. He’d go from a relatively well spoken Australian to a full on Africans. The change was simply stunning.

Hi , I still think this way but i just dont express it , just to accommadate you wierd buggers in OZ you cant handle the truth . How foreign am I , Very .Get with the program . Love Anthonyx

Hi , Comming from a bi-lingual country where English was a minority language some Afrikaans words are well established in the English language Braai means cooked meat over an open flame , very important when enteraining . If you are inviter to a Cheese and wine you automatically know is a social gathering gathering ,that we know as a cocktail party as appposed to a braai which means you are going to be fed . Everybody get very exited over the food especialy the Wors(sausage) just like Italians . Get with the program Christian . Love Anthonyx

Hi , further more if you are having a Braai then the food must be displayed and the entire conversation after inspection is about food The Wors defines wether the Braai will be succesful or not . Its called Boerewors , must be tryed and tested carefully before inviting company. Not ever Butcher can produce perfect Wors(sausage) . Now you know. Love Anthonyx