Fuck it... a Day in Bed

I didn’t mean to, but I didn’t get out of bed all day. I got coffee and muesli fairly early and returned to bed, scampered back in my socks and track pants, puffed up my pillows and snuggled back. Then Missy joined me, for the whole day pretty much. She slept next to me all day, except for that moment when I reached out for the remote in the dark and grabbed her paw by mistake and she bit me, actually clawed me. Either way, it hurt.

And the day just drifted away, just like that. And I didn’t think about work, let alone looking for a job. I wonder if I am going to lose everything, with this behaviour? People do, I’m sure, just like this. Piss it away. But… I just don’t want to work. Actually, I just don’t want to look for a job, if Jack offered me one, I’d take it, of course. I so don’t feel like putting in any more effort than that.

I didn’t buy the wine until 4pm. I pulled on shoes and a beanie, no shower you see, and marched right around there. $5… it does the trick. OMG! Sad really. Yes, he had such promise, could have done anything he liked.

The trouble is that I don’t like.

And lovely Ben got evicted from Masterchef. Beaten by beef, dab at the tears, my tears. Andy's hero, mate, BFF and just like that the sweet bromance is over with Andy's buddy heading back to Tassy.

Ben says he has no regrets and regrets nothing, and the two mates are now planning to open a Mexican restaurant together.

Boo hoo!

The real problem is that I haven’t been writing anything, I’ve just been pissing my time away. If I am not going to work, I need to do something, I can’t just do nothing. I can’t just stop, no prospects at all. That is the real problem, the real disappointment.

I was still awake at 3am. Me and Missy.

What a lazy day.

I finished the bottle of wine. I had a bit of a headache after that. Bad me. Is a whole bottle of wine a bad thing? Surely not? Well, not every day. It is not even blotting it all out. It doesn’t seem to be having any effect.