I am awake just after 9am thinking about all the things I am going to do today. The first think I must do is put the rubbish out. Wednesday morning? If you want something done and all that…
Then I hear Shane’s footsteps come crashing up the stairs. I look over at the time, it is 9.15. Wow, that is late, even for Shane.
I’m thinking that is good, as I am so comfortable and warm in bed, that I didn’t get up already. I must close my bedroom door when I leave, then the house will be the same for Shane tonight when he gets home, cold and dark, as it has been all week.
When did I become such a bitch? What is the basis for all of this? Well? It was mine and Anthony's birthday last year and his abominable behaviour, which I'm sure sealed the deal. The weekend away at Jane’s just kind of added to it. Then the clearly hushed tones when he and David were discussing it the night we went to Ga Ga reinforced it. Clearly, I was deliberately excluded from those group activity. I can tell, it is my intuition. You know, when you just know things. There was carnival day. There is the total exclusion when he gets a new boyfriend. It is the knowledge that I get swept up in his co-dependence when he doesn’t have a significant other and how I get dumped when he does. It is the “me me me” it is the total self focus on himself. It is the “I’m out for dinner,” when he is out with a friend of both of ours.
It was the constant rubbishing of Mark and Luke.
“Oh, not the country people,” Shane would say. “We don’t want the country people here!” They are my best friends; how did he think I would feel? But he was too focussed on himself to ever think about that.
And really, I am just doing what I want to do. I am just living my life. The trifling nasty bits are just fun, a game, something to amuse my twisted little brain. He doesn’t know what it is that I am doing, and he probably doesn’t care, if truth be known.
But… was it Shane, or Jane, though, who excluded me from the most recent weekend, that I don’t know? When Jane is pissed off with Mark, I often get lumped into the hatred as well, so I can’t really be sure about that one. Except, that the last weekend away at Jane’s, Jane asked me to go herself, and that was well into the current hatred of Mark. So?
Shane left at 9.27. Crunch went his car’s gearbox into reverse. Again. Practically every morning, wouldn’t you try to do something about that? Oh, I’d just have to master it, just for the sake of it, if nothing else. If he said, “It is a company car, what do I care?” Doesn’t that buy into the world’s resources? More of the world’s resources, than would be otherwise necessary, would need to be used to eventually repair the car? And ultimately that leads to global warming?
Anyway, no time to dally, I had to be somewhere. Jill had said to be at her place by 10am. I had a shower, got dressed and headed down stairs. When I have to be somewhere, I always have a shower and get dressed so I can leave at a moment’s notice, if need be. Then I just fritter the time away.
I was on my laptop and eating my muesli at 10.15 when she rang.
“I guess you are still in your pyjamas?”
“No, I am dressed and ready to leave as soon as I finish my breakfast.”
I said I’d be there by 11am. I don’t think I left until after 11 though. Oh, Jill’s always late and I was trying to get an entry of my blog down, as I was already two days behind. I’m always behind with it lately, I don’t ever seem to be up to date.
I’m sure I was, actually, at Jill’s before midday.
We headed straight out to eat cherry pie in Balaclava. Lovely. We drank coffee, we ate a main. Jill had a second serve of cherry pie and then when it arrived told me I had to eat half.
Then we headed to Camberwell so Jill could spend money on things she didn’t need. I was supposed to be doing bookwork. It is funny that we, so often, go to uni to get high paying jobs so we can fritter the cash away on things we don’t ever need.
Jill bought a chair and a TV cabinet she just so didn’t need. Okay, maybe the chair at a push, but the TV cabinet was a complete waste of money. She already has one that is not that dissimilar.
She bought blue glass ornaments and blue glass cups and candles, and it is probably only the candles that she needed. She was replacing blue glass ornaments with blue glass ornaments.
Is that the great con? We are coned into believing that we need degrees and high paying jobs for security, but really it is just to keep the economy expanding so the very wealth and the politicians are even more successful than they otherwise would have been?
Or am I just a tight arse? I’m not sure. But, it is true, that I have very little need to go out and buy things just for the sake of shopping.
Jill told me about her online shopping addiction. The shit she has bought? A small fridge for tea making facilities in her bedroom, which she will never do, a ring, 24 aqua face washers, ornaments, glass bowls, coats, jumpers, clothes for her niece and nephew, clothes for her sister and her father, to name the ones I remember off hand, the list just seemed to go on and on. She said couriers are arriving every day.
It is a sad indictment on modern society when shopping is the main form of entertainment.
We came home and did some work in the afternoon, rather than go to Ikea to waste even more money on a wine rack she clearly doesn’t need.
I was supposed to be sorting out Jill’s accounts. Her paperwork was a mess. I worked through it all, though, and got it all done.
I left by 21.30 and had to leave, wanted to leave, as I had to work the next day.
David was at my front gate as I drove up, wrapped up in mittens and scarves. Shane had no doubt invited him over, to keep him company to stop him feeling alone. It is always the same way, not a night passes when he is on his own. I guess I should feel sorry for him, but I don’t.
David was talking holding court in the lounge room when I came in from out the back. Look at me! Listen to me! But at least David has a certain charm to his self focus’ness. I guess it’s called smart. They had no fire burning and it felt cold. Really? Not smart enough to manage that? Clearly! It is really fucken cold in Melbourne this year.
My roller door had not stayed down, several times before I came in. I reminded David about the day he was in the lounge room with a friend and I had come home and in the rain the roller door just wouldn’t stay down and how I had got so pissed off as I had got so wet in the rain because of it. I’d come in and there were cheap, badly coloured orchids on the bench. I took one look at them and said, “Could you have bought uglier flowers.” Of course, his friend had bought them for him. They were watching, The boy in the striped pyjamas and unperturbed I launched into, Could they be watching an uglier movie! Then I headed to my room and David and his friend had both dissolved into tears.
We laughed. David said he’d seen his friend just the day previously and they had discussed it.
“You were both spineless pussies. Fancy dissolving into tears?”
“You were mean,” said David.
“Oh, you pair of girls.”
Then I spun on my heal and headed upstairs. I had to write down the details for my job in South Melbourne for tomorrow and to work out where it was and how I was going to get there. One of these days I just know I am going to head off without the address, or something. I’m trying to be organised and have every detail covered.
I keep forgetting to take my sign on details for my company website with me.
(Ed note – as it turned out, I forgot those details yet again. And for a moment it looked as though I needed them, as the client hadn’t updated his software. But head office sent him a sign on. Phew! I must remember to take those details with me in future. It is not going to look good if I get caught out. That is why they pay me to do what I do, after all. I can be soooooooooo slack.)
I hope Sam doesn’t read this.
I chatted to Sam and Luke online, as I pulled my details together for tomorrow.
Christian 4/07/12 10:49 AM
It is FREEZING here. We're all artic monkeys now
Luke 4/07/12 9:54 PM
Well i'm sitting here in shorts and singlet & sweating... it's Luke here... you know i doubt that i'll ever see a winter again...
Christian 4/07/12 9:56 PM
It is cold cold cold here. David says it is Mongolia. It certainly is chillwha
Luke 4/07/12 9:56 PM
so, we've changed our flights again... were back in Melb's on the 17th Aug. Is your heating working?
Christian 4/07/12 9:57 PM
it will still be cold August 17th
Luke 4/07/12 9:58 PM
yes i was thinking that... but not as cold hopefully...
Christian 4/07/12 9:58 PM
no, not as cold
Luke 4/07/12 9:58 PM
no it would be nice for a change...
Christian 4/07/12 9:59 PM
Come to Melb to cool down
Luke 4/07/12 9:59 PM
instead of dripping with sweat...
Christian 4/07/12 9:59 PM
scarves and coats
Luke 4/07/12 9:59 PM
is David there
Christian 4/07/12 10:00 PM
Yes, he was at the door as I drove up. I just got home
Luke 4/07/12 10:00 PM
from???
hey how was GAGA
Christian 4/07/12 10:00 PM
Ga Ga was great
Luke 4/07/12 10:01 PM
i was so close to flying to Bangkok to see her... i so should have...
Christian 4/07/12 10:01 PM
A bit too much in between music that all sounded the same, but I guess she had to get changed
Luke 4/07/12 10:01 PM
and do some meth...
Christian 4/07/12 10:02 PM
yes... that’s what I said, Oh look she's off doing more lines
Luke 4/07/12 10:02 PM
speaking of... we had pills here on Sat night... they were awesome!!!!
Christian 4/07/12 10:02 PM
she sang well and her dancers danced their arses off
really? So, there are pills that still work?
Luke 4/07/12 10:03 PM
yeah they were great... i was rattling around for hours
Christian 4/07/12 10:03 PM
rattling around by the swimming pool?
Luke 4/07/12 10:03 PM
couldn't sleep so i came into the cafe and rattled around in here for a few hours... and then went to the swimming pool...
Christian 4/07/12 10:05 PM
What? swimming pool, cafe and back to the swimming pool?
Luke 4/07/12 10:08 PM
no... we went to a big music gig that Steve put on Sat night then the swimming pool on Sun
Christian 4/07/12 10:08 PM
oh, I see
Luke 4/07/12 10:09 PM
we've met this great kiwi chick – (her name) – she's hilarious and off chops most of the time... but she lived in Melbourne for years, and was all over the gay scene, so she's sort of adopted us... our new fag hag apparently...
Christian 4/07/12 10:12 PM
what does she think about being called a fag hag?
Luke 4/07/12 10:13 PM
oh no she loves it... she just came out of a 5yr relationship with a bikini model, had to leave melb because they were doing too much crystal...
Christian 4/07/12 10:13 PM
is she a lesbian?
Luke 4/07/12 10:14 PM
she came to one afternoon and realised she'd left her 15yr old son at the airport for 6hrs – and decided it was time to stop.
Well… she says she loves cock too much to be a real lesbian... but obviously has swung that way
Christian 4/07/12 10:15 PM
good for her liking both, not leaving he son at the airport
Luke 4/07/12 10:16 PM
oh i don't know... 15 yr olds can be cunts
Christian 4/07/12 10:17 PM
Oh yeah, 15 years old isn't that young now is it
Luke 4/07/12 10:18 PM
there was a good show on Australia tv last night – some guy taking on troubled teens on a property up in NT somewhere... those little fuckers were horrible... i'd be going all Ivan Milat on their arses...
Christian 4/07/12 10:19 PM
me too
Luke 4/07/12 10:19 PM
hang on have to go and help the crew for a minute...
David left without saying goodbye. Shane went to bed without saying good night. Of course, I didn’t make another appearance for them to be able to.
Shane has a small electric heater and he isn’t putting the central heating on, which makes no sense at all as his room has central heating radiators in it. But, I have long since given up trying to make sense of what Shane does. All he has to do is turn the central heating on. Oh well, whatever he wants.
I watched Shane Ferguson and Dave Letterman and turned the light off around 1am. I had to work tomorrow, of course.
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