You'd Have To Be An Arctic Monkey?

Sam and I left the house together. Matching suits, well, they were both black. It was raining, Sam had the umbrella up and ready. You can be sure about that. I always ask him if he is scared that his hair will frizz?

We both caught the tram together.

There was a woman at the tram stop with an annoying voice talking to her male companion. I commented to Sam. He whispered “complainer.”

Sam was too slow getting on the tram, he’s too sweet, he won’t push the bastards out of the way. Of course, I got to sit next to “the annoying voice” on the tram, isn’t that always the way. What you resist and all that. Her companion stood over us with his cup of coffee, which he proceeded to spill all down his front and over me. Except I moved my leg out of the way. The top wasn’t quite on his cup properly, the cup was ceased in a bit and I watched him spill it all over the scarf he had wrapped around his neck, and over the guy sitting opposite me, before he moved his leg out of the way. It seemed like divine payment for his friend’s awful voice droning on in my ear. It amused me, it fell like a waterfall, it just poured down and poured down and poured, every time he took a sip. That was until the woman with the terrible voice, pointed it out to him.

I worked at (not for profit organisation) for the last time. That’s it, done. My boss said the other day that I have got rave (okay, he didn’t use the term rave) reviews from all my clients, so (not for profit organisation) must have been one of them. Really? When I think they are a nightmare?

(the boss) was away. I don’t know where or, at least, I think she told me but I have forgotten and (my colleague) left early of course, she’s a mum. I signed my time sheet as starting at 8.30 and I was there at 8.30… ish. I left at 4pm, so it was still only 7 hours so no one will question it, but I still effectively got an extra half an hour and still got to leave early.

Sam says it isn’t wrong. “No, that is just human nature. That’s what human beings do.”

The same happened last week. I get the skinny black chick to sign my time sheet for me. She is so genteel and beautifully, if softly, spoken. She smiles so sweetly and almost blushes in her willingness to do something for me. I felt mean cheating her.

I felt a bit vague all day to day, I hope I didn’t make any mistakes.

I got off the tram in Swanston Street. As I walked up Bourke Street from Swanston – they still have Swanston dug up constructing the new “super” tram stops – Jill sms’d me asking,

“Where are you, I thought you were coming over?”

I started typing a reply, when I thought that I hadn’t arranged to go over to her place. No I hadn’t? What is she talking about? Did I, had I… then I saw Breadtop and I slid my phone back in my bag without sending the message and all thoughts of Jill were gone. I walked up Bourke street, to home eating the custard bun and the vanilla crunch. Well, I was walking and not catching the tram.

When I got home, the front door wasn’t deadlocked and the kitchen and hallway lights were on. Yay. You’ve got to luv that!

I spoke with Jill once home. She’s finished work, her contact finished June 30^th. When we’re not working, we hang out together. I help her clean up her paperwork, she messes it up again and when she is off work again, we repeat the process.

She said, "So my trick sms didn't work?"

“Nearly.” I laughed. “Then I saw BreadTop and I turned into Hommer Simpson.”

We both laughed. Both Jill and I have sweet tooth’s. Read: we’re both turning into fat bitches.

I arranged to go over there on Wednesday. I sat up in my bed with the crackly old phone. I told her about Sam’s efforts to get me to purchase a new phone. “Right,” she said. “I’ll put that on the list.”

What is it with people around me wanting to organise the slackness out of me?

I took to my bed before Shane got home. Lovely it is to, to slide my fat arse into bed on a cold winter’s night.

Shane hates being on his own. And still to this day, even after years of instruction/example he can light a fire. He still gets two large logs and puts a fire lighter underneath them. Then he feeds the whole thing newspaper until it lights. Except, I don’t buy newspapers any more, maybe that is why he hasn’t had a fire burning when I haven’t lit one?

He should have practically gained the skill by osmosis by now, if nothing else.

Shane got home at 18.45, way passed my bedtime. I’ve been having dinner at 6pm and then heading to bed, to get warm in the arctic coldness we have bee having lately.

Just because you don’t think that you can, it doesn’t mean that you can’t, all you have to do is try.

You have to learn to be fearless.

David would be proud of this affirmation.

I stayed in bed all night, it is nice, it is winter. And I love my bed, after all.

Hi , As expected Jesus has arrived . This evening God bless him . I feel his presence and am over whelmed the tree outside id weeping blood and i am thinking of calling channel  7 to film it , i may make a fortune here . I was a bit naughty and made it brutally clear that Jesus is in fact not here. So deal with that if you want to deal with me .Love Anthony