Lazy Day

Sam woke me with questions about my knowledge of the rice. What? Did I know how to use the rice cooker? What kind of question was that? Did I know the measurements? Huh? I could make rice and eat the left over curry for lunch? Isn’t he sweet? What are they then? One cup of rice, one cup of water. Oh… I could hear by the change in his tone that I was correct. Yes. I felt a certain kind of satisfaction, that even as I lay half asleep, I still managed to get the question right.

Sam is always telling me that I should go on Millionaire Hot Seat. It's just those sports questions... oh, and the science questions...

I got up and was drinking coffee and orange juice and smoking joints, before 9am. I was awake by then, thinking about the smooth, stainless steel curves of the before mention electrical gadget.

Ha, ha, ho, ho.

How one falls back into bad habits so easily. I’d quit smoking for 4 days. Still, I guess that is better than smoking for 4 days. I kid myself, it has to stop. I’ve got a great cough to show for my evil ways.

Me and Buddy and my laptop, it is a familiar story for me, all my mornings are spent this way… and some afternoons, I thought. And, I have developed quite a liking for the afternoon nap.

Then there was someone tooting a car horn? Don’t do that? Please don’t do that. Oh… no! There was a car alarm, sounding every however minutes it was sounding. I see nothing but selfishness and, well, stupidity in car alarms. Nobody takes in notice of them. In between, the telephone kept ringing with nobody at the other end, when the machine took charge. Eekhads! It is usually so quiet here, I don’t what moon was in what orbit to cause all of that to happen?... as David would, no doubt, explain.

It was cold outside, like winter. It was overcast, still grey from the storm we had. It seemed to have chased the sun away.

The removalists arrived, it is the big day. Well, all the boxes are going today, so it is a mini deadline of sorts. I heard the guy say that he’d have to come back. I don’t know what that means. Have they got shit everywhere? From what I could hear of his tone… well… it didn’t sound enthusiastic. I don’t go and look, I want to keep out of it. I want to feel that feeling standing in my house on my own, they have gone.

I let Buddy in. He heard the doorbell.

By 10.30am I was hungry, so I made jam toast and rolled another joint. Oh yes, very European. Three days of riding and, I think, I have any diet covered. The truth is, that the cereal cupboard is bare and I haven’t been bothered to get my fat arse to Woolies for supplies.

Busy here.

They are using the ducted vacuum system, Shane and Tulli, I can hear they have it block by the way it is roaring. Of course, I’m hoping the new vacuum will exorcise the vacuum demons we have had living with us for the last twelve months, but I haven’t offered them the new machine.

When did I get so mean?

The sun begins to shine. It is 11.11. The world lights up, as if for the first time today.

Buddy is warm against my leg.

I lean under the table and grab him in my hands and rub him vigorously. There is snuffling and snorting, I love those noises he makes. One of the reasons I got a dog, anticipating this time when I’d be living here on my own. You never feel alone with a dog.

I roll another joint. It is 11.22.

I fed Buddy, so he’d go outside. I went back to bed, what else is there to do? As I’m on the stairs heading up, the doorbell sounds, the removalists are back. 

I’m so comfortable in bed. I plugged my headphones into my laptop and played music, so I couldn’t hear what was going on. Is it possible to tune out to the entire operation of your housemate moving out? I wished I could sleep through the whole thing and they’d be gone.

I dosed for an hour. I woke and pulled my head phones from my head, all was quiet.

I wanted one of those pavlova McFlurries from Maccas, suddenly. Sam had always been with me when I had the opportunity, and he has always said no, but today he wasn’t.

The house was silent, it all must have happened and no doubt the happy couple have gone out for breakfast. They go out for every meal. It has always been my notion that you save every dollar when you are about to leave for a life in a new country, but maybe that is just me?

I don’t know what came over me, but just after I had the taste for meringue and soft serve, I was out of bed, dressed and walking up Smith Street, before I knew it. A McDonalds automaton, I didn’t think I had it in me. (ed note – Munchies, did someone mention the munchies?) McDonalds was busy. There are always people in McDonalds, so many people in McDonalds. All sorts, such a spectacle. There was an obvious personal trainer in front of me, with a perfectly sculptured body, so I didn’t mind waiting in line. I had… er… um… a Big Mac and a McFlurry. (He had a Big Mac and I’m sure he would have had a great McFlurry) All the booths were over flowing with human blubber, but the long benches are nice, like a library to study human excess.

It was nice walking home in the sun. The unfashionable end, or is it now the really cool end, of Smith Street shone in all its naked glory. The sun shone down with the mellowness of a late winter, warm honey gently oozing over me, it didn’t burn like a week ago.

Bush fires, floods. Unseasonal. Extreme heat. Once in a life time event… two years in a row. Grass fires burning out of control. Still, nobody seems to be blaming it on climate change.

Abbott still wants to get rid of the carbon tax?

I slept after that, 1pm and I was done. Full tummy, if the truth be known, I pigged out considerably more at Maccas than I cared to admit to. Then it was 5.30pm, apparently. I heard Buddy’s claws dancing about on the polished boards. Then I heard something else, a bell? Was it a bell? Scratch, scratch, pant, pant. Was the door bell ringing? Pant, pant. What time is it? Bring, bring. So comfortable. Bring, bring. Scratch, scratch, pant, pant. It must be Sam. Bring, bring. Scratchy, scatchy claws. Pant, pants.

Buddy raced down those stairs. He was bouncing and snuffling at the front door, looking back at me, then snuffling under the door again. Sam had his finger planted permanently on the button, by the time I reached out for the door handle.