Up Early. Into the Office.

A couple of spliffs at 5am, I couldn't sleep. Then another at 6am, and a second coffee. It is cold outside at 6am.

I've got a job interview at 12.30pm. Sam doesn't think I am taking this seriously.

"She'll be right," I say. "A couple of coffees at 11am, perk me up. Brisk walk into town, I'll be fine."

Do you think it is all the coffees, not being able to sleep? This is the boy who could have an espresso night cap and still get a full night's sleep!

An hour later, I'm good to go.

It's not really a job interview as such. I've worked there before, I've worked with all of them. It is really just to discuss hours. Maybe a 3 month contract to sign.

Eat some chocolate just before you leave, that's good for a spark up. Suck a mint, the worst thing is the dry mouth, but if you can master that... What could go wrong?

How do you think all those top lawyers manage it?

Sam's going for a job interview too. A job in the finance sector, which he hated last time, I might just add. But the offer is too good.

"You have a job 5 minutes from home, with normal hours that you love," I say.

I think he just wants to be offered it.

My friends treat me like Patsy Stone, when I have a job on.

"You?" they say. Quizzical looks. "Going to work?"

"You have a job?" they ask, looking around the room.

"An office?" They look perplexed.

Rude bitches.

David is in Amsterdam, so I'll have to wait for his expression.

Jill is in London, so I'll have to wait for her expression.

Mark is in Hanoi, so I'll have to wait for his expression.