Something Far Worse

I vacuumed the lounge room. Clearly, Sam has change my once happy yearly spring clean, maybe twice a year plus spills, to a two week cycle, three week cycle, depends how you count. He and I do it every Sunday, and I guess I have got used to a certain look. He went away on a Friday, (I’m sure there was a pre-emptive clean just before he left though, mutterings about how I can't be trusted, or something) and I didn’t do house work that Sunday, or last Sunday. So that, now, means it, apparently, takes 2 weeks for me to reach my cleaning threshold. Gosh there is debris all over the floor, now isn’t there? I kept thinking. I've been ruined.

I swept the back yard, it is macadamia nut season. They are like marbles on the paving. But more than that, is that they just come and come and if I didn’t sweep them up my back yard would be full of macadamia nuts. They cluster like minions.

I hung the washing out.

I have to go to my ex's dinner party tonight. Oh, I make it sound like the worst gay cliche, don't I, it is not. Most of them are DJ's and cool. My old choofing gang. I just can't be bothered. (I play out the whole Catherine Tate skit in my head before I move on) It means I have to leave the house and talk to people. Yay. Go to a party on my own. Poor me. They are all old mates, it is just me.

I mustn't smoke too much, otherwise I'll be brainless. But that is the catch22 thing, now isn't it, you smoke more to ease yourself into the public humiliation. Ha ha. I've been told that I had this sense of humour since I was a little boy. Tiny, angelic, rosey red cheeks, big green eyes, and out of his mouth came the blackest remarks, they say. I was a dark-humoured, cynical, 5 year old moppet of a child who'd stop dowager aunts in their tracks, with the things that came out of his 500 year old mouth, someone was famously known to say... once.

Anyway...

The whole day of chores has been a delaying tactic for going out. I've always said that, make the chores a distraction from something far worse, and the chores do themselves. 

The house is clean.

The dinner will be great. Someone else is cooking, what is there not to like?