David Calls

I sign out of work just after 3pm and we go for a walk. 

David calls. I want to die, he says.

Oh David, we all do.

We all do, he says. The thought cheers him up.

Yes, of course, life sucks.

So, If I organise it, will you do it with me?

Sure, I say.

When, he asks?

Oh well, I couldn’t really fit it in this year.

Why? What do you have to do?

Oh, you know, I have to see all the awful people, I say. So many awful people to see.

The world is full of them, he says.

Ain’t that the truth, sister, I say.

He laughs. Why is it that you are the only person who can cheer me up, he asks.

It’s a gift, I say. Like the ability to smoke vast amounts of pot, stand on one leg and rub my tummy, or work a Rubix Cube, I say.

He laughs. You can work a Rubik's Cube?

Well, I have to admit it has been a while but, yes, I was once good at whirling the colours.

Who'd have thought. Any other unique skills?

I used to be able to undo a fly with my teeth.

Oh oo! Wasn't the metal awful on your teeth?

Hold it with my front teeth, then my neck does all the work.

That's the story right there.

Ah, the skills of youth, they don't usually leave you.

I'm taking my dogs to the dog beach.

That's very sporty of you.

I know, I'm not really sure what came over me today. Out and about.

Oh well, good luck with that, I say.

Oh the horror, the horror is stretched out in front of me.

You at the beach, are you? I ask.

Yes, he says.

Enjoy, I say.

That is hardly likely, he says. But the coast looks clear, and the dogs love it.

You need a head scarf and a large pair of sunglasses.

Fortunately, there are only the freaks jogging and taking a cold water dip at this time of day.

March forward like a galleon, eyes straight ahead.

Like I have a book on my head, deportment'esque.

That's the ticket.

It will all be ticketyboo, despite the locals.

That's the spirit.

David travels the world with his work, and is a high achiever. People throughout the world seek him out for the work he does.

However, when he comes home, he falls apart and on most days he is barely able to get out of bed, let alone leave the house.

He is a true Gemini.