Good What?

David called me with some bullshit about Good Friday. I guess being a new age spiritual advisor, he has to keep all his options open, as you never know, it is all so much bullshit I guess you have to be prepared to go with the one that seems to be most likely at any given point in time.

"Happy Easter," said David.

"Happy what?" I replied.

"Happy Easter."

"What?" I asked questionably.

"Good Friday."

"Good what?"

"The death of Jesus?"

"Who?" I said.

He told me some weird details about his Greek Orthodox childhood.

I told him the whole thing was too bizarre for words, with the whole Judeo Christian shtick being based on infanticide. "An all powerful god had no other option? Seriously, that's what people believe?"

David told me how seriously his mother took the whole thing.

"And what, he died today and then rose from the dead 3 days later, which was Sunday, but in any relatively bright five year old's counting that is only 2 days, and not 3, no matter who counts it."

"Friday, Saturday Sunday."

"None of it adds up?"

"It's faith." His is a one size fits all new age variety with singing and dancing, no not happy clappers, really mystical mantra meets downward facing dog.

"It's all nonsense, you understand," I said. Did he think I meant his as well? Hmmm?

He laughed nervously and said, “I’m off to buy Fillet of Fish.” So as to make good with his childhood trauma, I can only assume.

“Seriously?”

“Yes.”

 “We've just eaten hamburgers,” I said, "The Body of Christ."

David said, “I have to go.”

There was Kevin Nazareth, he was a local tradie. He thought he’d discovered a new way to live, so he started telling his mates, down the pub, about this great new way of living. And his mates liked it.

Then there was Harry Antipasto, Kevin’s local politician. Harry wasn’t so happy about Kevin Nazareth telling Harry’s voters not to vote for him by subscribing to this new way of living Kevin was spruiking, Harry was losing power because of it.

So, Harry hired Hakan the Turk to 'knock' Kevin Nazareth.

And, that’s how we all started eating fish on Fridays, because everyone felt sorry for Kevin the little fish, who was silenced by the big political machine. And Kevin was 'bumped' by Hakan the Turk on a Friday.