Boy Culture

It was hot, muggy, not a morning to walk with your jacket on, so I was carrying it, almost from home. What was I thinking?

I walked to Spring Street, when a near-empty 86 turned the corner into Bourke Street. Wha, wha, wha sound the wheels on the turning track. In the interest of personal hygiene, I decided to catch the tram the rest of the way, up and down the Bourke Street hill. To avoid sweating, what did you think I meant?

There was an idiot old ethnic man standing against the ticket machine, when there were many vacant seats, playing with his rosary beads. He looked at me, as if I was an inconvenience, as I said excuse me. I fought the urge to shove him physically out of the way.

Move it old man, I wanted to say. You, your bad attitude and your stupid beads, shove off. He stepped away as little a distance as he could to allow me to use the machine, then he settled back to where he had been. I got my seat, near the door for the fresh that entered, every time it opened.

Work consisted of people asking me for reports and figures, the meaning of which were a secret each time somebody asked. I spent the day tracking down the information and supplying it to the requesters, every last one.

I rinsed my mouth with a salt water mouth wash after doing any thing, every thing, even scratching my arse.

SMS. 17.57. How’s your day little squid? I had another interview but I am not going tomorrow. Just focus on the other one job offer or my current job, if I don't get my dream job – Mitchell

I meant to text Mitchell back, but I was running late and went to dinner with Tim and Nicholas without texting at all. I had to drive my lamington of a car, the gum tree is in full seed shed mode and I haven’t driven it for over a week and you’re not allowed to wash them, of course. I left late, so I, basically, drove to the next street.

We went to The Rose. I had chicken Kiev, as I thought it would be easy to chew, you know, soft food. Talk about the crumbing from hell – like rock. I had to cut it up into smaller and smaller pieces, chewing on one side of my mouth. Tim laughed. I drank lemon squash because I was driving.

Nicholas got pot, afterwards. We smoked bongs and watched Heroes. I grimaced when I thought of my dentist, Martin. I was home by eleven.

SMS. 23.10. U alright there? – Mitchell

SMS. 23.17. I just got home from dinner with mates. Just got into bed this minute with my phone in my hand just about to text you. I'm good. How are you? :) :) – Christian

SMS. 23.39. Why, were you worried about me, sausage? :) – Christian

I was impressed by Mitchell's concern, the first display of which, I might add. I lay back in bed and watched, Boy Culture, on DVD. Tim had lent it to me.

SMS. 00.10. Just thinking of this little squid :) good nite – Mitchell

SMS. 00.13. I was thinking about you too. Sweet dreams – Christian

Home for the Arvo

"You're having a tooth extracted today," said Martin, as cheerily as if he was telling me what a gorgeous morning it was in St Kilda, which it was. Acland Street was bathed in glorious sunshine. I could so live in St Kilda, it would be my second choice to Fitzroy.

"Am I?" I asked.

"We discussed this on your last visit," said Martin - who was looking quite sparkly and handsome today. He's either been exercising, or he's given up the wine. I always thought he looked a bit puffy like a drinker, but not today. He looked quite fine.

"Okay," I said. I wasn't nervous, never have been with dentists. Sure, take it out. I've always been like that, since I was a kid. No stress. I've never really ever been hurt by a dentist, the worse is some needles and I've had plenty of dental work done.

"You sit yourself down and settle yourself," said Martin. "Some one nicked the latest copy of DNA, so I can't offer you that while you wait."

So my last wisdom tooth came out. Martin said I should go home and rest for the afternoon. Actually, that's what his dialogue had morphed into by the time I got back to work, let me tell you. Well, my tram went right past the front door, so I dropped in.

"Must go home and rest, doctor's orders."

"Yes, yes, you take yourself home," said the powers that be at work. Tracey later said my face was quite swollen. Lucky break.

So, I was in and out - like a boy prossy down Shakespeare Grove - in ten minutes. And here I am. I don't need to be told twice to go home from work, I can tell you.

I bought smoked oysters and muscles to eat, nice soft food for lunch. Of course, I have just realised, I can't have the crackers. Sad face. Where's my fork?

I did smoke, but I rinsed with salt water after everything, picking my nose, farting, I was fanatical! Well, I figured I'd have to be, if I smoked. Grimace.

I watched Capote and ate yoghurt and tinned apricots.

(Ed note - There were quite a few hours between the oysters and apricots, let me assure you. There was sleep.)

Losing my Mind

Grrr! 7am and I feel like a cigarette. Twitch. Strum fingers on the desk. Am I going to have one? Am I not? Look to the skies with with fists in the air. Curse the idiot who invented smoking!

"God, you're a cunt for tobacco!" Shake head. "It was a dog act."

Never the less... Big smile. It's a nice feeling to wake up and not have to go to work, there should be more of it.

Anyway, I'm off to the dentist - Big Gay Martin. You know, I'm not one for the gay ghetto, but it is kind of nice going to gay service providers (for want of a better expression). He's getting a little plump, turning milky white, not such a good look for a blond. Like I can talk, as Mark would point out, as I suck my stomach in, hoping no one is looking. I look in the mirror and think hideous, now a days. But I digress...

Martin is warm and generous and funny, if in an old school kind of way. He's got interesting art.

His big blue eyes sparkle. He's funny, he makes me laugh... if I could, with his fingers in my mouth.

I like him. He's nice. It's cool having a man filling my cavities for a change... instead of grumpy Stella. She was always seemingly cross with me. So, Martin is a ray of sunshine. And he mostly seems to be pleased.

No doubt he'll exclaim, "Oh Christian!" as I open wide for him in the chair. "Still smoking!"

Gotta give up smoking, too. Hey? I've just got to tell myself I can do it. I don't even like it. It is so stupid.

Anyway, gotta go. Gotta catch the 96 to St Kilda.

Oh yes, I've been telling everyone that come Monday week, I'll be back on my back veranda at 9.30am with sleepy eyes, drinking coffee. One of the lovely dinosaur P.A.'s at work said I should be having a gin and tonic come Monday week to celebrate my time off.

"9.30 is a little early for a gin and tonic, isn't it?" I asked.

She shrugged and smiled.

"I'd be asleep by midday," I said, "if I started that sort of carry on."

She laughed and touched my arm. "To hell with it, you're only young once."

My point is, that I checked the calendar and I have two and a half weeks to go, not one and a half. Kill me now!

 

Off to the Dentist

Anyway, I'm off to the dentist - Big Gay Martin. You know, I'm not one for the gay ghetto, but it is kind of nice going to gay service providers (for want of a better expression). He's getting a little plump, turning milky white, not such a good look for a blond. Like I can talk, as Mark would point out, as I suck my stomach in, hoping no one sees. I look in the mirror and think hideous, now a days. But I digress...

Martin is warm and generous and funny, if in an old school gay kind of way. He's got interesting art.

His big blue eyes sparkle. He's funny, he makes me laugh... if I could, with his fingers in my mouth.

I like him. He's nice. It's cool having a man filling my cavities for a change... instead of grumpy Stella. She was always seemingly cross with me. So, Martin is a ray of sunshine. And he mostly seems to be pleased.

No doubt he'll exclaim, "Oh Christian!" as I open wide for him in the chair. "Still smoking!"

Gotta give up smoking, too. Hey? I've just got to tell myself I can do it. I don't even like it. It is so stupid.

Anyway, gotta go. Gotta catch the 96 tram.

Bugger! (and not in the good way)

I had it today. I had clicked into no smoking mode, I could feel it, that centred, calm place. Quite relaxed about it, I was - warm and even.

But, then someone in the office suggested going out for a cigarette and I felt myself make the decision to smoke. Against what I was feeling. I decided to smoke.

Smack to the forehead! (big eyes)

Look of bewilderment! (I'm off for a puff)

The Merry Go Around

Working has got me beat. People coming at me from all directions, I forgot just how. One and half weeks to go. It's a mad house. Leaves me with very little left to write, at night, as I collapse into the couch, fuzzy brain, sore eyes.

Retrenchment must have been too expensive, the company seems to have taken a different tack. All my calculations were a waste of time, those that were, of course, needed urgently, yesterday. Suddenly, we're doing something else, a whole new set of calculations are needed. Tail. Dog. Round and a round. The exec's are trying to turn it into an opportunity for themselves. You know, they were the one who slashed 20% off the fallout, shoring up their bonus come June 30th, as they take the knife to as many employees as it takes for that to happen. Ah, who needs it.

Now! Now! Me! Me! My figures. My answer! I'm the saviour! Look at me!

I'm counting the days.

Big breath. My credits have begun to roll, I can feel them way off in the distance, cranking up. The first few haunting notes of the final music... Monday week, I will be back on my back veranda, drinking coffee at 9.30, sleep in my eyes. I can hardly wait.

A Radio Antenna?

A man claims police penetrated him with a radio antenna... straight boys are such sooks.

 

Life Model

Nice Arse

One Night Stand

Saturday Night

I was supposed to go out drinking with Mitchell, last night, but he got too drunk over dinner with friends and had to cancel. Shame. He said he was really sorry, couldn't believe he'd done it. We haven't shagged yet... last night was going to be the night. I'd even washed behind my ears.

How do I know if I really like him, if we haven't had sex?

I watched Sex in the City with David and Shane, instead. Smoked pot, drank vodka, took valium. Woke up on the couch at 4am. Just a usual Saturday night in. 

Saturday At Home

Up at 8am. There was a message and a missed call from Mitchel. Decided to slow the whole Mitchel thing down considerably. I feel like I have said too much too soon... stupid, really. I found it was doing my head, a little. So, I’m now slowing it down to a friendship pace... it can develop from there into anything. But let’s walk before we run.

Came down and switch my computer on, you can be sure. Not smoking cigarettes, I have to stop. I can feel that cigarettes are killing me. And you just got to stop, once that realisation is made.

I cleaned up the back bench in the kitchen. Suddenly, it just looked like a tip.

Smoked the mull from the mull bowl.

When back to bed for a pull. Amateur Straight Boys, got to luv ‘em. (I don't think I am the only gay boy who fantasises about straight boys fucking each other)

SMS. 10.06. Go for the job you really wanted... you’ll be working for a long time yet – christian

Decided to answer Mitchel around 10am. As soon as I’d done it, I wished I’d waited till 12. It is Saturday, after all.

Was smoking my ill gotten pot, on my balcony, when I thought, I should go finish cleaning the kitchen, I’ve already done half of it, after all. Maximum house points would be too easy.

I cleaned everything, once I got going.

Shane said, He’d never seen me like this – which I strenuously refute – just before he ate cereal and went for a massage.

SMS. 11.00. Did u wake up in someone else’s bed, ha, ha lol. It took you all nite to reply. Hmmmm naughty – Mitchel

Does the use of “naughty” by Mitchel in his email confirm my feelings of too fast, too soon? I decided to wait for an hour before I reply. I wrote my reply straight away and saved it as a draft. I’ve been back and edited it twice, so far. It takes a lot of rewrites to be spontaneous and clever.

It’s kind of endearing, really. What I’m looking for.

Such is the dichotomy. 

I’ve got to type up all my sms’ before I run out of memory at an inconvenient time. I smoke another joint on my balcony, the last of the small bud I pinched off Shane at 8am. Bad Christian, I know! But that was it and now I’m never going to smoke anything ever again!

Back down to type my sms. It’s 11.30.

Spoke to David he was heading off to meditation. I asked him how it went with the girlie one. His reply was, ‘how dare you’.

SMS. 12.05. I went to bed early with a migraine (which was the only thumping I got 😀) and slept for 12 hours. And now I’m back in bed. Gotta luv Saturdays – christian

Went back to bed and watched Sex in the City. Decided it was time I went and had a haircut. Grrr! Midday Saturday. I’ll probably have to sit and wait for ages. So, I bought a pork roll on the way. Luke called as I was marching down Smith Street munching on the pork roll. I was chatting to Luke as I entered an empty hair dressers, not even the cutter himself.

SMS. 12.48. Rest well. U be fine. Don’t worry about meeting tonight if u unwell although would like to cu – Mitchel

Sam appeared shortly and as I was straight up, I had to say goodbye to Luke.

SMS. 13.58. I just love Helen Terry – Julien

SMS. 14.22. I’m fine. I quit smoking, although don’t hold me to it Cleaned the house. Had a haircut. Now I’m watching Sex in the City. Some buddies are dropping in soon, for a few hours. I’m still up to go drinking – christian

Went back to Sex in the City. Got bored with that before the end. Mark and Luke arrived. We headed down Smith Street for lunch. Got silicone so Mark could fix the bathroom sink and then went to Cocos. I smoked some of Mark and Luke’s cigarettes.

Mark came back and fixed the sink. Luke and I chatted downstairs.

SMS. 16.13. Havin dinner at fren’s place. Will check wit them where2 for drinks. Let us know when venue is finalised. 😀 have a rest 😀😀😀😀 more smiles for u – Mitchel

Shane came down from his bedroom, telling us that he got so relaxed at his massage, his masseur ended up fisting him. David is, apparently, not to be told. (not completely sure why?) My lips are sealed.

We smoked pot.

Mark and Luke headed off to babysit Jay.

Shane went back to bed.

Shane, & I smoked pot, David & Shane drank vodka, we all took valium and ate all the leftovers. 

We watched Sex in the City. We watched all the disks. 

SMS. 22.10. Hey sweetie. I got quite tipsy don’t think I can come out for further drinks. I am bad drinker. I just had a few glasses over dinner 😀 so sorry about this – Mitchel

SMS. 22.14. You cheap drunk. Sweet dreams sloshed sausage – christian

Then we watched the Gruen Transfer. We smoked more pot, and drank more vodka.

At one stage there was talk of going to The Laird.

Ashamed of Australia

Is it right to execute the Bali bombers? Frighteningly, the majority of Australians answered yes to this question, recently.

I am ashamed to call myself Australian when I read stuff like this.

We are a country that says NO to the death penalty, we were once proud of that fact. What has happened to Australians to change them from the forgiving people they once were?

Did John Howard turn Australia into the country of bigots it now is, by using race as a political weapon.

Was it Pauline Hanson, with her small ideas and 50 point IQ?

Was it the media orgasming at every terrorist plot as a means to increase it's publication?

Is it because society is now only made up of working families, politicly speaking, and anyone who doesn't fit this stereotype is a nigger, gook, spick, alien? Disposable?

Is it because we all have been promised so much, you can have everything, and have been delivered so little? Now that the promise of so much under capitalism has evaporated.

Male models on Make Me a Super model pose with a bread slice in their pants to give them a bigger, smoother look

The State of the World

They create ugliness, through their own greed... and then they groan about it.

Is that the most perfect description on conservatives that you have ever read?

Good Bye and Thanks for Everything

Ah god, it's great to be employed, back in the thick of things...

My law firm hit a new low for me today. They are taking the opportunity to retrench staff because of the global financial crisis, across the board, thirty so far, more to come - my own department tomorrow. After I had completed the calculations, the director of HR sent me a new redundancy policy to replace the company policy which has been in force for the five years that I have been with them. A new policy that slashes employees redundancy payouts significantly. Not only are they terminating long time employees, some in the age bracket where they will find it hard to obtain another job, they are repaying their loyal service by paying them as little as possible, in direct contradiction to the retrenchment policy under which all of the said employees would have been employed.

As far as I'm concerned, it is a despicable act.

Whoever said that law firms were the scum of the world?