Anxiety Attack... Wasting Everyone's Time

Oh, I had a bit of an anxiety attack last night about all the things I have to get done. Sanding the floors seemingly the least of them. Tile the upstairs bathroom, that in itself… AH! Carpet the floor. Finish the last few things that need doing in the main bathroom. And then use it.

Then there is the Rover and the Cooper S.

And then there is new flatmates, so I can pay the mortgage when Mark and Luke get back. Pay the mortgage! Pay the mortgage! Which, I have never done up until this point, in all reality.

Oh bugger! I now have a mortgage.

I'm not to be hooked onto gaydar all day today, like I was yesterday. And yet, here I am, hooked up already. But, it is only as I am doing other stuff, today. I'm not sitting here for 8 hours, doing nothing. I'm not. I'M NOT!

Don't I believe me?

I don’t even want to meet up with anyone. Tom says that I’m just wasting everyone’s time. And I guess he’s right. I think, just knowing that people want to hook up is enough. It's the chase that is interesting, the hookup rarely lives up to expectations. Not exactly the spirit of the thing, hey?

So it is doubly a waste of time? ... oh probably.

I play on-line and then I wait to have sex with Manny. In fact, he knows I’m off today and could arrive... any minute. So, log out Christian!

I told myself just until 10.15 and here it is 11.14.

It kind of fills me with a nice warm feeling to have a boy who is hot and mine.

Hmmm!

Well, get off that friggin thing then!

M and L

It's me.

How are you? I trust you survived Amsterdam? All them tempting cafes.

I bought a bag of you know what over the weekend and some how here I am, come too, and it's Tuesday. Bad Christian. So no more of that carry-on. I've taken a week off to do all the things I need to get done. Now what was the first one? I should have made a list.

It's nice not having to go to work, but.

He, he.

christian

SMS. 11.12. hey j, sorry I didn’t make it over on Sunday, had a cold & bed was 2 cosy. r u about 2day? – Aby

Oh, I should answer Aby. No hurry, as she is admitting that it is her fault that we haven’t caught up.

Phew!

Now, it’s get off the bloody internet by midday, natch.

Tom

Now I know why you were wittering on about moving the bed. I looked at this morning and thought, oh, now I know what Tom was on about.

Quick, aren’t I?

Anyway, I’ve put the mull bowl away – last night – and now it’s Action Christian.

Out of the daze and into productively.

He He!!!

christian

11.58 and I’m logged off. I’ve just got to do this floor thing, my tatty credibility is certainly at stake.

I’m not sure that I have any credibility, actually. Stella called this morning for a password and she said that Beck and her had been taking bets that I wouldn’t do it. She doesn’t know, but that has probably stirred me on, her saying that.

All I’ve got to go and do is hire the bloody sander.

Wish me luck.

SMS. 12.34. I should be here all day. In and out a bit, but no plans to be far away – christian

SMS. 12.36. Beauty, I’ll pop in around 3. x – Aby

I called and found out the prices on sanding machines. I got to the floor around 1pm.

You know, I’ve done a bit with a hand sander and while I’m not kidding myself about how much hard work it would be to sand the floors that way, I like the effect it has. I don’t want the floorboards to be stripped of everything that has occurred to them over their life as floorboards in this house. I want them to look like planks with dirt between them. I want them to only be lightly sanded, still with the marks of time visible.

They are looking good already.

So what about the bed??

Tom