I WANT A CIGARETTE!!!!

I want to feel normal again. I can't concentrate. I can't decided on one thing. Everything is a sea. I can't even get an email written. It's all blotchy staring at the screen. (See above.)

I'm going to the shop to get cigarettes.

Oh bugger! I'm all a twitter.

I smoked pot last night, I reckon that's the cause of this present nicotine urge. I went to a friends wedding. We went back to the bride and grooms place afterwards. They took drugs and I left - had to go to work - and it all ended in tears, but that's another story.

I'm getting fat again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate this! CIGARETTES ARE EVIL!

I want to continue to sleep my lovely restful, light sleep.

AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm feeling depressed... and if I remember rightly, that's what happen at the 2 week mark last time I gave up. Feeling blur, emotionally. I've got a body rash, apparently I ate something I was allergic to. Although, I questioned the doctor, as I've never been allergic to anything. Red spots all over my (beautiful) white skin. Or it could be syphilis. I DON'T think so. And I've gained a few kilos, despite being very careful with my diet. Bugger. Fat and white and spotty?

and ........................................................... (just been to the shops) big inhale!

One cigarette – okay two – and I feel normal again. It's just not fair.