Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Corporate World

Now here’s the killer.
But the answers aren’t always what you are searching for though.

We put together a memo of the Sydney HR Manager’s mistakes – or her department, but the responsibility comes back to the same person, regardless – with contracts. We photocopied examples of contracts written by her that are – to cut a long story short, but let me just say – examples of the worst HR contracts I have ever seen in all my time doing what I do. (A reasonably bright Year 10 would be able to pick the holes in them, if only using logic) We sent them to the Director of HR, who had asked us for such examples of our problems after hearing about our frustration. And she went and had a chat to the HR manager in Sydney.

The outcome.
The office junior in Sydney would, essentially, get job managed. And I would get a talking to for my aggressive behaviour with the said junior, particularly in regards to rude emails I have sent.

You gotta to love... I guess you know the name of the company by now, huh?

I know the HR Manager in Sydney is a two-faced, back-stabbing, lying snake, capable of anything and will blame anybody for her mistakes to cover up her own breath taking incompetence – she has a history of it. But this defies gravity. We had her sown up with our evidence. (This was never about the Sydney junior. I feel the sorriest for her. And I can never say anything to her about it, for political reasons.)

The only logical conclusion that I can come to is that the HR director didn’t read the memo… or more frighteningly…

Let me digress for a moment.

We’ve had a really good HR consultant in working with us, who has told us three very interesting facts about the HR Director.

1. That our HR consultant has had to explain even the most basic things to the HR Director. Like really basic. (Reasons why she might not understand complaints we’ve made)

2. That the HR Director is a completely political animal – my translation, she didn’t get to the top of the heap in so many years by being nice to anybody, or by being particularly smart – my further translation, she hired the HR manager in Sydney and she wouldn’t be about to admit to anything that tarnishes her own name. (Although, I’ve always found the HR Director to be great, I have to add, to be fair.)

3. The HR Managers in all states are bosom buddies with the HR Manager in Sydney – who is, I guess I should mention, the HR Director’s pet.

…now that I think of it, the HR Director (cunningly) called my boss just before she went to see the HR Manager in Sydney, when they did talk about the junior and when my boss made a joke about my rude emails… something along the lines about now she could understand why I have got so frustrated at times and why I may have said things in emails that I shouldn’t have. (They apparently laughed) The point is, that my rude emails are ancient history, almost twelve months ago.

My final conclusion.

The HR Director didn’t understand our memo. The HR Director doesn’t understand contracts.
The HR Director is the living proof that the HR Manager in Sydney will be the next HR Director.

The bottom line is that the entire HR team is rotten to the core, mostly infected with a virus that’s coming out of Sydney. Triple therapy anyone?

The sad moral of my story? You don’t get anywhere in my company for being smart, you get somewhere by being a cunt. A corporate cunt. And the best way to survive is to get something on the others.


Morning Christian.
Gee that was a long email yesterday from home – I think I caught the gist of it, except to say I'm not quite sure if all of a sudden everything is YOUR fault now.
Such a small font Miss!
Yeah I thought you might be visiting Bolago next weekend, now that the wicked witch of the north has left. That should be nice'n'relaxing for you.
I almost wish I was going myself!
The night at Perry's is turning into a mini-shebang – at least it will be if all the people I have turned on show up!
Well, if Mark forgives me anyway.
I sent him a little simpering card in the mail yesterday, apologising for my bad behaviour. Perry had a wee word with me on Sunday morning about it – Mark was indeed left feeling a bit hurt, the poor lad.
I need anger management classes perhaps?
Anyway, I hope today is better than yesterday, and that you might even find time to smile at the world.
Love you lots
Tom


Well, you know, I didn't get that you were angry on Saturday. I got that you were tired and needed to rest. (Although, I might have got a flash of anger about the dog on your lap) I thought it was just bad timing.
But I did think the little note was a nice touch. And Mark is a nice boy too.
Have a nice day, miss. I think I'll be working late, in the snake pit. (Salt mines is far too nice a description for this place. At least salt has a use.) Boo hoo.
Christian


Well Christian, I've just awoken from a 5 hour nap – must have needed the sleep.
Why are you working late so late in the month?
Mark got my card and was fine about it.
It's nice to send cards anyway, something I used to do lots of, many many years ago...
I hope the mine is bearable.
love ya
xxxxx Tom


I think sending cards is nice, harks back to a gentler time when people were far nicer than they are today. (But then, not so long ago, the government didn't use fear as a political tool, quite the opposite, quite frankly)
I'm working late tonight because HR here is now such a basket case that I am now keeping them together... as well as doing my work. Good Old Salt mines Forever. And no one gives a rats arse as long as it all goes though. I should just let it all fall over. "Thar she goes!"
Christian

It was a day of cunts, from every state. Every day my job is a battle of whit’s. Some days I’m exhausted. Some days the stinking bitches win and some times they don't. Sometimes I prevail and some days, on the rarest of occasions, I'm am left to do my won work, without getting dumped on by the poises bitches that are the HR team.


Heaps, tops, pets – do you still have a job?
Let's go to Italy...
I am off to Granada in Jan for me mate Jen's 40th and am counting down days til Xmas hols. You, trooper missy, are in my thoughts (Buddhist benign but loving soothing glance).
Hey you know what? Despite my spitting and saying Nooooo neverrrrr! I might well come over again this July, but only if I get some European summer too. I want to go to Transylvania-Bulgaria and end up in Greece, but a dear dear dear dear old old old old friend wants me to go with her with her kids to Ma and Pas as I can speak some Danish and she lived with us (er, she's Danish and I'll be there at Xmas) and can help out. While there I could visit an old old old old old old old old old old friend, after she's had a week off, because he's no cunt.
What happened last time? Your dear dear dear dear dear dear dear old friend squoffed all your drugs and shat on ya bed? Er, carried on like a harridan ("maggots") and shat on ya bed? Nonsense all lies and dreams. We could do a road trip... you could come back with me and we do lovely Europe in August. Italian beaches....?
I'll be in Slovenia in June at a peace camp (Human Rights for the Balkans).
Watch your back, switch off at home, and stick in there sausage...(or stick the sausage in, can't remember)...
Gales van Hales
maggots rule


(Josh)
Damn! There goes my trip to Cambodia, next October.
Yes, yes, you should come. Of course. Interesting that you only remember one harridan, though. One maggoty maggot. But no, shan’t say a word. In the interests of world peace.
You’re certainly getting around during the year. How do you fit it all in? Granada. Transylvania-Bulgaria Greece, Italy...
And Tom will be well by then. And we can go out and not risk being poisonous by staying home. And you can meet the new boyfriend. That’s Tim’s, not mine. Quite handsome, is our Nicholas.
You should come in the summer. The weather is glorious about now. Oh well.
We could do a road trip. Have you seen Wolf Creek? You should go and see it at some arty German theatre. The best of Australia. I’m sure it would be showing somewhere.
Take a friend.
I’m going to bed. The snake pit was a rattling all day, nearly drove me mad. And you know what happens when a snake pit rattles, the nuffies roll out. Dick heads with dick head questions. Did I say that 50% of the population is stupid and just wasting valuable resources in their very existence? It’s more like 70%... and rising. Fuck there are some dumb cunts amongst us.
Nite.
C(hristian)

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