Hanging

Rob had tried to kill himself a number of times, each unsuccessful, to varying degrees. The last time, he did it outside on the gum tree that shades the garden in the afternoon. He did it on that bottom branch, the one that used to jut out on an odd angle. He leapt into mid air, the rope went taught on the branch, and snap. It fell after him, landing on top of him.

That could have killed me, he thought.

It hit him on the head with one of those blows that took his breath away, momentarily. He thought, he may actually have seen stars, before the pain took his concentration away completely.

“Jesus,” he said, as he rolled over in the long grass. He rubbed his head with one hand and pushed the limb away with the other.

He rubbed his head as though the very act of rubbing was the antidote. He stared at the blue sky above him and watched the clouds as they drifted over head, as he drifted out of consciousness.

For a split second he marvelled at his own survival.

He sat up with his legs straight out in front of him. Khaki shorts, tanned skin, explorer socks and work boots. The grass was damp.

“Ah, ah, ah, ah,” he said, as he rubbed his head. There was a huge lump on the back, like an inflatable bladder under the hair and scalp tissue. If he pushed down on it, it was soft and squishy. He did not push down on it again though, as it hurt too much.

The noose was still around his neck and it was still attached to the branch at the other end. He tired to get up, the noose & branch pulled him back.

He grabbed the noose with both hands and pushed it up over his head with one thrust, with one long hard breath out. He made a kind of guttural growl deep in his throat when he’d got it off. His world spun, momentarily. He opened his eyes wide and then closed them again. He blinked repeatedly. He burped pure bourbon.

“Jesus,” he said as he rubbed the back of his head with both hands, rhythmically and slowly.

He crossed and uncrossed his eyes, as he tried to focus further away. Blacking out and blurred vision is not something to be taken lightly, he thought, as he covered and uncovered each eye with his hands, just to test.