Manny has met someone else, someone who will commit to being a full time boyfriend. It was always some thing between us, my lack of commitment. I see it as something that is proved through actions rather than words. I tried to tell him that I had been with him for four years, monogamous for the last couple of years, but he couldn't see it. I guess he wanted to hear me say it and I always hoped that he would see it.
He and I were always better at being lovers than boyfriends. So, it remained a casual thing, more of a sex thing than a relationship thing.
So why do I feel sad?
He called me today to see if I was all right. Last night, after he told me, I just wanted to stop talking to him, get off the phone. It made me feel foolish, not that that makes any sense. But, it was like I'd failed to read the signs. We hadn't seen much of each other lately. He'd stopped calling me. I made an excuse about a television program I wanted to watch and hung up.
I suddenly felt very single, as I set the open fire, home on my own tonight, waiting for Big Brother to start.
31.01.2003 to 12.07.2007.
No comments:
Post a Comment