Jaw Shakingly Good

I woke up and gazed at Sam. His first words were, “When is she leaving?” 

He’s funny. Bad drugs! Or is that, bad drug boy! Actually, I’m surprised he could hold out so long, and still say so little. He was so well behaved, all things considered. No, really. He said nothing last night, he just enjoyed the company… of old friends getting together.

When I went up stairs to get Sam’s phone to download the photos I took on it yesterday it was 11.11. “Hello beautiful,” a lovely sentiment scrawled on the footpath. It is almost a metaphor for 11.11. My Android phone has a shit camera, and if there isn’t something wrong with it, it should put people off buying Android, so I always try to use Sam’s iPhone.

When I came back down, I looked over at Sam sitting on the couch and he pointed with his thumb, as though to say, get rid of her, with that cheeky grin on his face. God he’s cute, is all I could think.

I could only laugh.

LouLou left after midday, all smiles, with us all promising to do it again soon. We didn’t wait much longer after that, we got busy with preparations. Sam dashed to Woolies to get supplies, as I had supermarket credits. He bought Up and Go and yogurt. Sam’s Up and Go makes me laugh and makes me realise how sensible it is all at the same time.

We had left over Japanese curry to eat later.

We borrowed Shane’s porn collection... and, of course, his taste is fisting and pissing. “But there is a lot of other stuff on there,” said Shane. “You’ll just have to pick through it.” He also lent us his hard drive with hours of porn on it.

There was a sense of anticipation, a wave of excitement. The butterflies in my stomach felt free to launch themselves upwards with no sense of trepidation any longer. No holding back, the time had come, this was the moment.

Chills up the spine, shaking down my nerves, like someone had walked across my grave, as they say. We no longer had to do anything, everything was done, immanently we’d be indulging.

We smoked our first pipe, late afternoon, we had the house to ourselves. Sam’s fingers always get twitchy when it is pipe smoking time. He get’s busy with the ritual, out comes the box, out comes the damp towel. He always starts it off, melting the crystals into that molten pool of white intensity. The white smoke starts to swirl around in the bowl and the delicate balance of burning and inhaling starts.

And then I had a shower.

And so beginth the journey. Night becomes day, day becomes night. We entered that delicious wasteland where we would stay for a while. Crusoe and Friday marooned on their island.

The afternoon fades away, slides out of sight like a well greased pig. 

We churned through the porn. We only played one DVD as it turned out. Huge cocks and greased arses and then they put those gloves on. “Oh no, not the gloves, fast forward, fast forward! Ah! Oh! Er! No!”

Sam squatted next to the bed a lot, I didn’t form complete thoughts about why? And the floorboards felt like an ice rink afterwards. 

I felt hungry and cold at various stages, but didn’t put a complete thought pattern together to do something about it.

We got lost in film and in between we kissed. And existed with a buzz and a hard edge that is all at once comforting and thrilling.

Oh, I love that feeling, it is moreish like good chocolate and delightful like a warm bed and all encompassing like a goose feather quilt.

It is a complete reality, fully contained in your brain. It is a great place to be, is a wonderful place to travel to with a fellow traveller. I love it. I can’t imagine what I might do if I was independently wealthy, how I might live? I can fully understand why such people end up in rehab. Why wouldn't you?

Of course it is a foolish notion, like chasing your tail. What could you call it, the state of ever diminishing returns? Your first hit is always the best and everyone that follows is trying to match the first.

We sat next to each other mindlessly as Sam packed the pipe yet again. And again. The acid taste imbued my taste buds, as I watched the white smoke swirl in the glass ball, as I inhale until I can no longer inhale… ah!.. ah!... ah! and I hand the pipe and the lighter over to Sam as I hold the smoke in as long as I can.

I felt great! I knew I would, of course. I love it, as humans have since the dawn of time, when they ate that first berry, or consumed that mushroom and enjoyed the change and the experience.