Out to Lunch

I was up at 6.30am. It was lovely and cool when I got up, cool breeze blowing in the open balcony doors. Sam was up before the coffee machine had turned off.

The present seemed even sadder in the cold light of day, with it’s ill folded corners, it was a bad shape, with a smaller base to the top. The fact that it was wrapped upside down didn’t add to its cache.

We were out in the street in the hot morning sun when Sam said he’d forgotten his headphones, again.

Sam and I walked to work, Sam asking me, “What is wrong with you?” when I lit up a cigarette. I laugh and tell him he is funny. He says, “Ha ha, he he! You think it is funny to smoke like a train.”

I was in at 7.50am.

Obese Olwyn and Fat Guts Carol Brady were already in when I got to work.

I decided to sneak my present over to the Kriss Kringle box early before people were in the office and could see what I bought and I’d have to do the walk of shame, in full view. Ben was there, although he didn’t turn around. Fat Joy was there and she pointed me in the right direction. The big box in the far right hand front corner of the office. And so, I got my present in the box anonymously. Fat Joy didn’t care. Ha ha. She pointed, but she showed no interest in what I had in my hands.

I got a coffee and had a fag on the way back to my office. Alex Clover told me that the finance Xmas party was next week. Oh yay. The penny dropped how we were going to fit in lunch with HR and the Finance Xmas party in the same afternoon, that’s because he Finance Xmas party is next Week. Oh, good, I thought, maybe it will be cooler next Wednesday.

F was in when I got back at 8.30am with a coffee in my hand.

I took the mail over to the other building, mid morning, to have another smoke. Once I get going, there is no stopping me. It was hot and burning outside. I smoked under the umbrella outside the café, with the shade and the breeze and an ash tray, it was quite nice.

The HR Xmas party was on in Fitzroy at 1pm.

“Christian, I’m going to drive to the lunch today,” said F. “You are welcome to come with me, if you want.”

F’s got a nice car. “Sure,” I said.

F, Obese Olwyn and I drove to lunch in F’s Golf R32. Midnight Blue, 4 doors. We got a park that was nearly out the front. Margie turned up with her three week old son, Leo, and all the girl’s present ovulated. It looked like an aubergine to me. The girls chatted like chipmunks. Obese Olwyn and Fatty Snoop… no, she’s not that anymore, she’s F – still calling her fat, but it takes all the sting out of it if I don’t, actually, say it.

I notice with F, a lot of her leads her… um… out the front, shall we say, as she walks, when she is in my peripheral vision. She has this mountain attached to the front of her.

I don’t think of her as Fatty Snoop Cake Lady any more, so she needs a new name. My Cool Boss? How’s that? There’s a first. Not a first, Bec was a cool boss. F likes cakes and cars, what is there not to like? – she and Obese Olwyn sat with me at lunch. They are the most interesting, by a long shot.

The nice one, who’s name I keep forgetting, said, “We’ve got bubbles coming,” as soon as we walked up. Oooo, twirling my fingers in the air in front of me. Bubbles, I hate that expression. You have a mouth like a sloth, I thought to myself.

Barbie sat next to me, but she’s been on extended leave so she is greatly wound down, and we didn’t really talk directly to one another, although we spoke in group discussions. Fat Guts Carol Brady was next to her. Red-haired Anne, Andrea R, the loud smiley one (who is really nice) but who’s name I always forget was next, Spanky, looking cross-eyed with a jug of white wine in her grasp. Olwyn, enthusiastic about food, as always. Mingey Van Wort, looking thin and high-cheek boned, Fran Di Dio, seemingly as relaxed as always, and the Ginger Super Model, who seemingly was arriving for the longest time, with constant announcements of her progress, but who eventually did turn up to sit at the last person to arrive chair, on the end. She doesn’t really offer much of any discernable personality.

Nasty Raspy didn’t show up, thank the universe. Luck was on our side.

May Pang had already gone on holidays, to finish her newly renovated house in East Geelong, so she wasn’t there.

I drank cider, so did Olwyn. I also drank vodka, so did Olwyn. The drinks were being liberally ordered, and from the outset I sensed that somebody else was paying. I ate vegetable and goat’s cheese gnocchi, it was sublime.

F had got us an early pass card, she’d gone and spoken to Fran personally during the morning, and we got permission to leave at 3pm, the others we scheduled to lunch until 7pm.

The car temperature said 41 when we got back into it.

All I can say about today is thank the universe for air conditioning.

We hadn’t been back long when F said, “You’ve worked long hours this week, you can head home, if you like.” I never have to be told twice to go home.

“I’ll see you Monday, I said… moments later. (Big smile) I was packed up in record time.

The sun was burning, as I walked home.

Luke was home rolling a joint just as I walked in the door. “Good timing,” I said.

A cool change rolled in.

We opened the doors of the stuffy house. It was lovely, it was cool outside in the evening.

Mark got up.

Sam came home.

Italian Sebastian came in.

We smoked more pot. I felt sticky all over like I’d been seriously sweating during the day. All I felt like was a good shower, to wash the sweat away. So I had shower number 2 for the day.

We ate pizza for dinner. Luke went to the supermarket. We ordered home delivered pizza. I had my favourite corn chips and sour cream. Yum.

Large Mexican

Small roast pumpkin.

Buddy was banished to his house several times, but he still managed to waddle in and lie between me, and Sam, lying on the floor under the coffee table.

It was a gorgeous, cool night, everyone left feeling like they had spent the day on the beach in the sunlight, well, I did. I had a warm glow to my skin, I am sure.

We watched Shane Delia.