Back To Work

So, everything is "go" for the new job. My p0licecheck came back clear, no dibber dobbing by the system of past transgressions. Sam was right, I was over-thinking it.

Back to work, yay. Back to work, hip, hip, hip hooray. Back to work, I am gagging on my excitement, like a toddler overcome by his very own birthday party, or a bulimic gacking up her breakfast.

I'm sitting here eating my muesli, trying to remember that I can't just sit here for a few hours reading the news, pissing about on social media, writing a blog post, cuddling up to Buddy, like mornings recently. Everything has changed, sad face. Oh really, I have to get up and get in the shower and find an ironed shirt and get dressed and find my satchel, and get my shoes on, and get myself out the door, and do all of that, making my way to the salt mines, which are a beckoning… what is the reckoning, they’ve all been decorating, they all need sectioning… three French men, two turtle heads, and a penis in a pair of briefs… but, I digress.

You have to be nice to people, Christian, I tell myself, no matter how stupid and how annoying that really are. (That is worth repeating) No, really, you do.

Oh, back amongst the great unwashed. Back to all that. I'm going to be lovely, sickeningly so. Beige, they all like it beige, like painting all of your walls in your house cream, or family friendly TV, people don't like to be challenged, they just like elevator music and traditional holidays, and sales twice a year. Boringly predictable that is what they like, they don't want to be scared by anything. Nobody wants their feathers ruffled in this day and age. (Oh, other that the outrage they feel safely tucked away at home behind their computer screens, on a daily basis)

That's going to be me, steady as you go, Christian. Nothing is too much trouble, Christian, sweetness and light, Christian.

But, having said that, I'm usually loved by my fellow employees because I do think and say things outside of the normal, suburban box. I'm not always loved by the execs because, execs like religion, don't tend to like being questioned. And I also don't go in for the modern phenomena of respect, I still believe respect is earned and not allocated just because you know how to breath, which, again, execs don't tend to like. And most managers, executive managers, I have found, are full of shit. Trumped up little Napoleons more interested in guarding their own empire than doing anything really constructive for the company, or the employees.

Oh, I shiver in anticipation. All of that and more. I remember. No, I do, I do remember, I remember it all. It is coming back to me like a black, mongrel dog. Shudder! What the hell was I thinking?