What I did?

I went out to the Guido estate, just after lunch, and got gunger.

“How’s the world of finance?” asked Guido.

“Oh, you know, can’t live with it, can’t live without it.”

“Sounds like my second wife,” said Guido.

“What happened to her?”

“I cheated on her with my first husband,” said Guido. “She was really ticked off about it.”

“I’ve heard chicks get like that.”

“But then I cheated with her on my second boyfriend.”

“Second wife, second boyfriend, very symmetrical.”

“She got turned on watching me take it up the arse, now she pegs me before I fuck her.”

“You still with her?”

“Yeah, sure, she gave into threesomes, and now we’re as happy as pigs in it.”

“You and her and…?”

“Whoever we fucken want,” said Guido. “But, I might need some tax advice.”

“Yeah, sure, shoot,” I replied.

Guido laughed. “That’s what we told Jacob the plumber’s apprentice last night after night of party and play.”

“Jacob the plumber’s apprentice?”

“Yeah, his boss, Jeff, is a long term customer," Guido bought his finger to the side of his nose and sniffed, "a word in Jeff’s ear and he left Jacob behind to tie up loose ends, by the time Shelly and I were done with him, he staggered out of here with a loose end of his own.”

“Nice.”

“Ah, we called him an Uber.”

“The least you could do.”

“Guido laughed again. “Yeah, sure, I have his keys, so when he comes back tonight to get his ute, we plan to have another go at him before he gets his keys back.”

“Wow, Guido.”

“Come on monkey, dance for us.”

“Lucky Jacob.”

"He's a good sort, as it turned out, a dick down to his ankle."

"Lovely Jacob."

“Anyway, you up for it?”

“Advice?”

“Yeah, sure, if I can.”

“I’ll get back to you when I have it sorted in my head.”

“Okay.”

"You know I could fix you up with 10K a month."

"For tax advice?"

"What? Nah? What planet do you live on?"

"Um, then no thanks."

"It's easy money."

"I'm sure that's what you tell them all."

Guido laughed. "Yeah, something like that."