the next
day...
What can I do?
I feel like I
have done something that is too big to forget, to ignore, or cover up.
What can I do?
When
everyone’s staring and pointing even though they have no idea what’s true? They
don’t even suspect, nobody does, not Alex, or me.
Some guys are
called poofters in the hall, as I look in my locker for things to take home. I
don’t join in; it makes my skin crawl. I just want to get my stuff and walk
away.
What else can
I do?
I wish that it
would blow over, quickly, I don’t want any blame. What can I do when my guts
are aching with fear and worry at being found out?
Why did I say
yes, the other day, out in the hall? He smiled and raised his eyebrows. I was
as nervous as hell. He tried to arrange it before the end of the day, but I
took a rain check, to settle my nerves.
Isn’t it funny
that they’ll blame other guys, but never look at us? No one suspects. But I
still want the fuss to blow over, anyway, out in the hall, even though I’m not
even involved. I don’t want the association, even though I can’t be blamed.
It’s those guys, who are “friends,” truthfully, they’re not friends at all. And
their trouble, hopefully, won’t be coming my way.
I exit
outside.
4 comments:
I can only hope and wish this story goes on. Going back memory lane, I visited my old highschool again and saw some faces I hadn't seen in many, many years.
Thank you.
There is plenty more on this story, I just never thought people would be that interested. I only started writing about it due to an entry I made a number of days ago. But yeah, sure, there is a lot more to it that I wrote at the time and since.
Great post Fletcher - or rather great series of posts - totally caught the moment, the tension and the desire of the experience & the moment. Bravo.
thanks
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