Three-Ways

I've been on the internet, trying to pick up a boy for a quicky. Why not? David's gone to Sydney for Dog Pen Pound Megafist, or whatever the hell it's called? It turns my stomach, just quietly. I can't even watch it as porn. Just not my thing.

What ever happened to kissing and cuddling, I ask you?

I've got the house to myself. But, the only offers I've had have been from three couples, none of who are very far away. Two of them are kind of cute. But...

Shane's mouth dropped open the other night, when I told him that I haven't had a three-way since Mark and Lauri.

(I guess it is a right of passage for gay boys)

"What?" Incredulous look. "None at all? Not one?"

"Nah, none," I said. "Just haven't been up for it."

I've never been able to face them, since. I've not been interested. Even though, I loved every minute - well, nearly - of my four year three way relationship. I wouldn't change any of it. But, clearly, there is something that I'm not facing.

Manny was up for it - sexy boy, I miss him. What kind of idiot am I? Manny would suggest going to the sauna to pick up Italian boys. "They're real easy," Manny would say. "Italian boys are big sluts!" Big grin. A hot Greek boy and a sexy Italian boy, I'd have been in pig heaven.

"Think of their cocks," Manny would say.

But no. Not that I ever had a huge and scary issue about it, I've just lost the enthusiasm for it. Still don't have it. The idea just leaves me blank, is the best way I can describe it.

I could have therapy, I guess. Everybody is doing it.