Kane and I have both had HIV tests in the last month, both of which came back negative. I guess I have been avoiding him a little because of it, as I know what it is going to lead to. Should we? Shouldn't we? Is it a good idea? Is it a bad idea? I mean, we're not boyfriends, at best only fuck buddies.
I guess the next sensible thing is to go and have tests together? I should have worded my doctor up yesterday when I went. Before we go ahead. We are going to do "it" before we do the tests together, I know.
Half of me thinks, all of my positive friends have unsafe sex, there should be a chance for the negative boys to do the same. And I want to, of course I do. Just do it, don't think about it.
The other half of me is not convinced, kind of goes against everything I have believed to be true, for such a long time. You know, you only have unsafe sex with boyfriends, if you like, love keeps you safe. I mean, I don't know Kane that well. Although, I believe he is truthful and sincere.
Kane is a hot bottom boy who is really keen for it (me to give him babies, as he puts it. shudder, I hate that expression) and am I keen too, don't get me wrong. It's just that my sensible self keeps questioning me.
Ah, what to do?
6 comments:
Here's my 2 cents worth. I am mostly a bottom boy and have been seeing someone for a while, regular fuck buds and maybe more but not boyfriends. Anyway I wanted him so badly to fuck me bare. There is nothing better and I have been in relationships before where this happened and it is just so intimate.
But I have lied on occasions where I have said that I never bareback but I have. You know, few drinks too many, high or even wired... and bare cock slips in. And I know if someone says "I never do it" but "I just want to do it with you" means they say that to anyone.
If I am serious enough to do this then maybe I should be more serious about my fuck bud and turn him into a boyfriend?
I suppose you can never know exactly what someone else has been up to. I don't know how old you are exactly but my older friends remember the grim reaper stuff. They think these barebackers and whatever are just crazy. So many people think its just a manageable thing now but still who wants a handfull of pills to take everyday and other complications.
Good to see your testing but I would like to in my case be in something more serious to be doing this. I just hope my fuck buddy is not getting other loads up his ass and then filling me up.
Thanks for your thoughts. Made me think more about it. I think I will tone it down.
Also great blog. Your writing style is beautiful. Imagine how good your novel / short stories would be :-)
Yes, I agree. When someone says they never bareback, but then want to bareback with me, just like that, I always think, well why would you make the exception with me, why am I so special?
Although, I do believe Kane, he's just split up with his boyfriend, who he bb with and he has been with many guys inbetween then and me.
I never thought I'd ever be contemplating bareback with anyone other than a boyfriend.
And you are right, I should make Kane a boyfriend, if I want to bareback with him, but I don't want him as a boyfriend, so maybe I shouldn't be contemplating this at all... with him.
But we've both had 2 HIV tests and all have come back negative, although we didn't go to the doctor together, which is the next step.
That is supposed to read that, Kane hasn't been with many guys between his relationship break up and me.
I reckon you should just make Kane your BF ; )
Kane seems to be becoming your boyfriend, no?
Ah... no. Not yet, anyway.
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