Not Again?

Jasus! I'm back to smoking j's like cigarettes. Again? Feeling it in the afternoon, scampering home, can't stop, no questions, please. No! How did that happen?

David's new boyfriend is a pot head and he's been bringing it into the house, which has only encouraged David to get some too. Who never smokes.

I was only getting one bag, just for the week, last week. We've been awash with it.

Not that I'm blaming anyone but myself, you understand.

But, it's going to run out and then what? No more substitute cigarettes. Danger city! Ah! Giving up again? How did I do this to myself, again? Ah! Weak as piss!

Beats head against desk until unconscious.

Pause. Tilt head to one side. Gaze down at the desk, look back at the screen. Big smile... I have a better idea.

I call my best mate, Jill, at such moments. We talk about addictions. She talked about Mexican food and drive thrus... and how she ate seven deserts. Shrug. She couldn't decide. She always makes me feel better.

It's my brother's birthday, I should call him.